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Can't hold it in for shit

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by andre920, Aug 28, 2018.

  1. andre920

    andre920 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys I just made an account as a final choice of action since I've done everything in my power to try to overcome my masturbation addiction, and honestly there's not much left I can do.

    Before I start listing what I've done, I want to mention that my longest streak on NoFap was 1 week before relapsing a few months ago, and now I can't go more than 3 days without doing so (even more commonly 1 day)

    My mind mostly bases on the premises of "It's just a peek it won't hurt" and "Next week I'll actually start NoFap" but I always end up lying to myself. Peeking for me always results in masturbation no matter how much I try to restrain myself from doing so.

    I've tried the panic button, thinking about the negative effects of PMO, getting used to taking extremely cold showers, waking up early and honestly that still didn't help me. Even blocking porn sites didn't work as I desperately unblocked them in times of desperation. I don't think there's much left I can do but I still believe there is hope. What can I do?
     
  2. BurningThisBridge

    BurningThisBridge Fapstronaut

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    Hey Mate, honestly I suffer the same thing. Currently I'm struggling to last 3 days, sometimes 1 day. Generally the thought of masturbation gets quite strong and my mind just gives in. I know that for me, and maybe for you the mind is a battlefield. I think that getting rid of the thought before it gets a foothold in ours minds will greatly improve our success. Trying to keep busy will also help. I know this is not always easy because, I honestly struggle with it. I suppose I just want to let you know that you are not alone in this struggle. Acknowledging our mistakes is great, now we need to learn from our mistakes and keep soldiering on.
     
    andre920 likes this.
  3. Sayonara

    Sayonara Fapstronaut

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    Hey, yeah it's so tough when you start trying NoFap and you fail a couple of times. It's hard to get over that hump of a week when you're used to doing it every day. I can promise you that it does get to a point where you aren't thinking about it every day.

    I wonder if you can have a think about the moments leading up to when you start to PMO - minutes or even hours before. What are your triggers? Is it a certain time of day, resting in bed? Once you know when it happens and why, you can try and avoid those situations while the going is tough, e.g. turning your phone onto airplane mode when you enter your bedroom and leaving it on the other side of the room (same with your laptop).
     
    Brain-Police likes this.
  4. MovingOnFromThePast

    MovingOnFromThePast Fapstronaut

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    Two years ago on this very date. I had to tell the truth. That truth caused my 5 year relationship to end. She eventually left me nine months later. Shame, guilt and regret is what I live with. Never learn a lesson with regret. I cried when I woke up, I cried in the shower, and I cried before I went to sleep. I would cry 5 days out of the week for at least 9 months straight. I do not over exaggerate about me crying alot because it is the sad truth. It felt like someone died. Its been over a year since she left and I still cry but not as often as before. I only went out 5-6 times to socialize out of the whole year. I stayed in my room everyday like it was prison. Dreading about the past, over and over . A nightmare that wouldn't end.


    Suicide was on my mind for months. I just couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't stop replaying every bad moment. Porn and games was the only time where I didn't have to think about anything. Everyday I would play games, watch porn, and cry. I was a living zombie. Two years of true depression is something where I wouldn't want anyone to have.

    I hit a breaking point in my life. I no longer want to dread about the past, in order for me to stop thinking about the past is to stop PMO . I no longer live in a fantasy because in reality, we live in the moment, and what we do in that moment will affect our future. Make a bad decision now better expect another bad decision later. Talk negative to yourself now best believe you'll say it again later.

    You and I and everyone else live this life in this world. There's nothing wrong with the world but we choose to make it a cold world. There'snothing wrong with my computer but I made poor decisions on my computer. Everyday is a new day and literally anything can happen. I might just sin the next day, who knows, but if i do Iwillremember about my shameful past and once I come to my senses (after you pmo) that depression will come quickly. It's so painful that im willing to give up anything to not feel that pain again.


    Someone on NOFAP asked , " what do you desire?"

    My desire is to not feel that shame, regret and guilt. My desire is to not dread about the past that I caused the 5 year relationship to end. That's why I NOFAP.


    Tell me brother, what do you desire?
     
    TheBox and Deleted Account like this.
  5. quit.publically

    quit.publically New Fapstronaut

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    Hang in there @andre920 and when you relapse, remember the days you managed "to live" without PMO. I believe relapsing is just a weak moment and with time these weak moments will vanish.

    Always be proud of yourself and how many days you stopped this addiction and try to overpower yourself by going in a longer streak.
     
  6. SamFZ

    SamFZ Fapstronaut

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    I tried it a bunch in the past (before I knew about this site) and usually reached a point where I'd go "What's the point in this?" and just jerk it. Interestingly the longer I'd gone without, the better that wank felt... Until the next one. I think we need a certain amount of time to 'reset' between ejaculating for it to feel as good as it's supposed to, and chasing that 'full' orgasm and becoming more sensitive so I could cum from a partner used to be my motivation to wait a while, but it usually wasn't enough.

    You know what I found you need? Something just like this place, and the counter. A sort of trophy to work for. Every time I almost do it I remind myself I'd have to reset this counter and lose the days I've built up. Having this community and this counter to look at has really made all the difference for me.

    The other thing that helps is a project. Get something to work on that you can think of instead. Like build or write something, something you can make progress on and see as a long-term (even if it's only like a week or even a few days long) goal. Your brain is chasing instant gratification, and you need to train it to appreciate long term, 'delayed' gratification and work more for it. It might also help to cut out energy drinks, sodas and chocolate if you have those, anything which gives the brain an instant boost of short-lived pleasure which you didn't have to work for. Reward yourself for doing things which take longer and move away from quick fixes.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2018
  7. shivadonis

    shivadonis Fapstronaut

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    Hi brother! The best way is right breathing and minimal physical activity when thoughts of masturbation arise! Squat with a bar (but first with small scales). I guarantee you that after at least 10 sit-ups of thought about sex and porn will leave for 2 hours minimum. If possible, repeat the whole day. In a week you will not recognize yourself! Believe me and good luck!
     
  8. TheBox

    TheBox Fapstronaut

    Hi Brother!

    I am also very new to this forum and I understand your helplessness. And, honestly, one of the best things you can do, is just being here. With us, on this forum. Just read all the encouragement you can find here, go here instead of having ”just a peek” and you’ll feel better.

    Two other things that I have found during my first week on this forum, that at least have helped me, are:

    Urge surfing, the act of acknowledging that you crave and urge porn, and, instead of fighting the thoughts, staying with them instead. It’s very therapeutic, and incredibly relieving when you surf out an urge. Empowering I would even say. You reclaim control over your impulses, your mind and your body. Just keep doing it every time you feel an urge, and you’ll hopefully feel better after succeeding it a couple of times.

    Here is an audio link to help guide you: http://depts.washington.edu/abrc/mbrp/recordings/Urge Surfing.mp3

    My last bit of help, is reading this comprehensive e-book on Porn Addiction by a NoFap staff member. It uses simple explanations of the psychological thought systems to help you understand why your brain acts like it acts, and therefore how to quit porn bearing that in mind.

    I’ll copy a link to the NoFap academy, where you can get the book for free.
    http://www.nofapacademy.com/free-resource/
     

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