Virgin at 26...

I'm 34 and a virgin, I guess it happens to us at different times

 

this line has motivated me........thanks

 

I read your story, it’s very interesting my friend, thank you for sharing it with us.

You know, I think you are a good person. I feel sorry you have been through sad things, just remember that life is always a surprise. And fortunately, not only bad ones.

Picasso once said, “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” I am an illustrator, and I can tell you that it’s completely true. And do you know why I am writing this to you? Because I really believe it works exactly in the same way with everything in life - with girls as well. Keep fighting for what you are looking for, keep trying, listen to your inner voice.

I am a kind of very unsecure person, especially in the past, now I am finally changing, this time for real. I am 25. I have always seemed much younger, and this has been such a big problem for me for years. I could feel (and still I do, sometimes) that people don’t really trust me and my abilities because I look so young. Of course this was a big problem for me with girls too.

Inside my mind, I was afraid that walking or being in crowded places some girls could see me and laugh at me. I was used to look at myself in the mirror and say “You are just a fucking ugly ridiculous kid that pretend to be a man but the truth is that you’re not enough interesting for anyone”.

I spent so many nights closed in my room in the darkness crying while nobody was aware of it. Trying to hide from the whole world. I felt like if I was a shame for myself, my family, my friends. “Not enough”. The sentence that has marked years of my life, inside my mind.

But I’m not writing this because I want to talk about myself, I want to give you the advice that I can, based on my experience.

Because the “funny” thing of all my story is that I have always been successful with girls, even during those years. Well of course not every time. So the monster that was eating and destroying myself from the inside... was just inside.

I know, it may seem it doesn’t make sense seen from the outside, but sometimes it can happen that there are things inside your mind that take the control, and no matter what happens, your inner reality just becomes more persuasive than the actual one.

One day I realized that maybe, if some girls were attracted by me, it could mean they saw something I didn’t see.

Maybe I was not that ridiculous. Maybe looking younger was not that much a big deal. Maybe I was just wrong about myself.

If you were so popular, not just one but two times and the second one even in a different country, people saw in you something that, right now, you are not seeing. Something good, strong, that makes the time spent with you valuable.

Even if you are having a hard time, I am sure this sparkle is still inside of you. Go and find it again, my friend, and let it shine as bright as possible.

And most important, let others see it again. As I said before, life is full of surprises, just let these surprises find yourself prepared. That’s why I wrote you Picasso’s thought.

In the end, what do we have to loose?

 

You are not a loser. It might sound weird but I am 30, newly married and still a virgin.

I only had 2 girlfriends, and I never had sex with any of them. The main reason was due to religion as we believe should be between married couples. As I was only married in Registry of Marriage, and not in church, my marriage is recognised by state and not by church. Hence, no sex for me until my church wedding.

By admitting your true feelings about how you feel, that makes you a winner already! You are acknowledging the problem and allowing your fellow fapstronauts to assist you which in my opinion is a huge step forward.

Let yourself grieve and feel all these feelings. Writing is one way to recover. The next would be find a passion or hobby as one of the early post did mention. But as always, one day at a time.