Lost and Confused

I am confused and lost on my NoFap-Journey and am eager to hear advice.

I am 17 years old and a senior in high-school. I've been watching porn consistently since I was in the 5th grade almost 6 years ago. about 1.5 years ago I recieved head for the first time and had absolutely no trouble getting it up. I never realized I had any kind of issue until the night I thought I was going to loose my virginity roughly a year ago. When I got naked with this girl that I had gone a few dates with I simply could not get it up. Nothing can compare to the amount of shame I felt. I continued to see her but couldn't get it up or could get it up for less than a few seconds. While she would frequently give me head, it was obvious I was never really more than semi hard 90% of the time. I quickly began searching for a medical reason however my physician and psychologist told me the issues were all in my head. I tried NoFap for a few weeks but gave up on it after a few weeks. As time went on I began to date this girl that I had failed to get it on with last fall. I regularly would receive head from her but could never really get it up past a limp hard. I could tell that this was really hard for her, it was mentally taxing on me as well. Over the summer I finally managed to get it up for penetration for a brief period of seconds, but fell back to being limp. A few days after this I decided that I needed to give NoFap another try and began no P and M. About a week and a half later we broke up as she was leaving for college. As soon as we did I reset my counter to no PMO, but did not relapse. Initially when I quit P & M i noticed the increase in Libido that lasts a few days and the increase in work ethic. However as this faded I awaited the fabled flat line to hit. However, a week into my new journey a girl who had ounce given me head had me fondle her boobs and I did feel a semi erection, however I avoided any real sexual contact. I continued to wake up to semi hard with limp morning woods. Around day 23 I actually managed to achieve my first semi decent erection in several years by thinking about sex and fantasizing about this girl who had shown me her tits a few weeks before, and the next night I had a wet dream(the first I ever had in my life). As time went on however I still never really felt like I truly hit the fabled "flat line" despite it normally hitting for most people before day 30. However, A few days ago I felt pretty sure that I hit it as I felt little to no feeling down there when thinking about sex and I quite literally felt like I was shrinking, with the exception that I would still wake up with a limp morning wood. I felt as if my head was truly in a brain fog and could not focus on much. With the exception of the morning wood I truly felt like I was in the flat line. However, earlier tonight as I was brushing my teeth I randomly began to experience a very slight limp erection after thinking about sex with the same girl who I had fantasized about around day 23. I am worried that I have yet to hit the flat line and truly feel lost on my journey, as I dont feel I really know what stage I am at in my recovery. Outside of my recovery I am active in sports and education however I dont feel truly engaged. I play a good amount of video games and watch a good amount of Netflix and am frequently active on social media(snapchat and instagram). I am deeply scared I will never be able to get over this and am questioning if this is PIED as I cant really gauge what stage of recovery I am on. I really want to get over this as soon as possible and preferably before I start college next year. Any advice on gauging where I am, how to make it faster, things to do and things to avoid would be much appreciated.

 

I am attracted to the girl I want to have sex with currently but not in the same way with the girl I dated. I told my doctor about my issues and he ran series of tests then telling me it was all in my head. In terms of flat line im referring to the phase of reboot that is frequently associated with your brain rewirieing, during this time most people experience absolutely no life in their dick.

 

I saw both my general physician and a urologist. MY testosterone levels are actually slightly high. I began seeing a shrink due to the depression brought on by pied. I was typically able to achieve a pretty good erection while watching porn but only with porn. While I may mentally want sex my dick doesn't always tend to reciprocate these feelings.

 

At this point i just don't know. When I was PMOing it would get their with porn, start to die, *click* new video and it was back again