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Social anxiety, online dating, and confusion

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by MrDetermination, Sep 20, 2018.

  1. MrDetermination

    MrDetermination Fapstronaut

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    I've given online dating a try recently. First tried Tinder, but nearly every single function on the website requires you to pay for it, which I'm less than willing to do (yes, I'm a bloody cheapskate, but I'm a student, so I think it's justified)! Then I gave OkCupid a shot. That website has more things you can do without paying, but I have had another problem with it: I tried to get in touch with some women around my age, but never got any reply. Then I asked myself "What's going on? Are they not interested? Am I not doing it properly? Is the website rigged in some fashion?". Tell me, fapstronauts: What are your thoughts on online dating? Can it work? Or is it, like one of my favorite fictionnal characters would have put it, "nothing but hokum"?
    When it comes to real-life seduction, I think social anxiety has me stimied. I tried to overcome it, but I find it less than easy, and that really is a pain in the ass in this society that expects men to make the move. Plus, I've heard plenty of stories about men being disrespectful (wilfully or not) while interacting with women, and this is not what I want. This got me wondering: Where do we draw the line between what is respectful and what is not? When is it okay to go talk to a woman and when is it not? (Well, I'm 100% sure that aggressive physical contact, catcalling, insults, or other similar things, is not okay, that seems to me like a no-brainer) A thought that crossed my mind about real-life seduction is that movies and TV series make it seem easy to an unrealistic extent. I may be wrong, but that's the feeling I have.
    Some of you might ask why I have all these interrogations, but I've heard plenty of advice that contradicted each other.
    In a nutshell: I feel lost in the world of dating and seduction, with a broken GPS and an unreadable map. I'm listenning to your answers.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2018
  2. realliferealman

    realliferealman Fapstronaut

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    Bro recently I watch Based Zeus Channel in Youtube..over there have a lot of advice for dating..

    and about the OKcupid,how your profile look like??if your profile is empty,then you expect you got girls reply to you??Come on,dont be lazy,get yourself some time,build it up,take some bad ass photo,present your life,then when girl look at your profile,she can at least know how is your life,who are you and so on..If empty,she also scare you are a series killer.

    Always present yourself first before asking people to know about you.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Saying you have social anxiety is just a bullshit excuse I know because I used to use it as a crutch for YEARS not to approach or if I did and it didn't turn out well she said no and walked aways I blamed myself saying it was because I was shy . You will never get anywere in dating by BLAMING AND MAKING EXCUSES DROP THEM NOW. I waited for years for women to approach me guess what most women will never do it. Its not because they have unstoppable confidence its because there shy to at times and like EVERYONE do not like to be rejected . think about that. One more thing that helped me when we use the excuse of I have social anxiety what were realy saying is your not confident but EVERYONE ELSE IS ALL THE TIME EVERY MINUTE AND ALWAYS NO THE RIGHT THING TO SAY AND DO - think about that one as well
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2018
  4. :) solid talk
     
    Hitto and Deleted Account like this.
  5. I have an active profile on OkCupid, so i can answer this question. It has something to do with the algorithm that they are using now. When you send a message to someone it does not go into their inbox! It used to but they changed it... So now you just get a notification that someone liked and messaged you. But you have no idea who it was! So you have to swipe and like through a dozen profiles in the hope that you find this person. You will know because when you find them it will say this person messaged you and then you can like and respond to them if you want to. I know its convoluted and ridiculous they should have left it how it was... But anyway you can have conversations on there. A few months ago i was using it and i felt like you are now. I was getting no responses at all i felt like they ruined it... But i recently tried it again and im getting messages and lots of likes! I dont think its just my pictures and profiles? My guess is they fixed the stupid algorithm and made it easier for people to message and find who messaged them. So keep at it you will get conversations.

    Also agree with @realliferealman check out Based Zeus Channel in Youtube. I have learnt a lot from him.
     
  6. MrDetermination

    MrDetermination Fapstronaut

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    Okay, I must have watched one or two videos by Based Zeus, guess I'll bingewatch this channel and take notes while I'm doing that. About my profile: there are quite a lot of infos about me on there (not too much of it, I don't want people to know everything about me), and several pics, which I think give a good impression of me. (Would you like to see this profile and tell me what you think of it?)
     
  7. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Damn, you just described how I have acted for a very long time! I asked a girl out for the first time this year, but we broke up. Now I have been struggeling a bit to get back into the dating game again, but this really made me motivated to just jump into it. Going to approach a girl tomorrow :,)
     
  8. Good for you ,Go for it ,
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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