Help! Combo of brain and traumatic masturbatory syndrome killing off any chance of erection?

It’s been encouraging reading the experiences of others who have recovered from PIED through NoFap. After relapsing after 2 months of NoFap I re-embarked on my NoFap journey two weeks ago but have great doubts about the results it is likely to yield for me, mainly because of my particular circumstances/journey so far. Hoping there may be folks here who can offer some kernels of wisdom.


I am 40, married to a woman I truly love and am attracted to with whom I have 3 young kids, have multiple sclerosis (the relapsing remitting form which has left some residual numbness in one of my hands). Have had a lifelong porn addiction which has no doubt warped my brain and which I am now determined to get rid of. Another problem: I have only ever been able to achieve orgasm through traumatic masturbatory syndrome (TMS) (essentially lying on my front and grinding against my hand).


A more recent problem is that in the past few years, even with porn I no longer get erections. At all. No matter how aroused I am. However, I am able to achieve orgasm with no erection through the TMS technique I mentioned above (was increasingly taking more and more time though). I still have a sex drive but can’t get or sustain an erection unless partaking in fantasy chat with my wife which we agreed to avoid during this reset period. Have not attempted masturbation at all since July.

Used to put it all down to the multiple sclerosis but increasingly think it is related to PIED and TMS...

Are there others here who have experienced no longer getting erections even when you are sexually aroused (either from porn or during an intimate encounter with their significant other)? This has been a problem that has gotten worse and worse over time. It’s almost like my brain no longer associates sexual arousal with the need for an erection.


More importantly, is a reboot and avoiding any TMS likely to help with this??


Feel like I am losing my mind because there have been occasions with my wife when I am genuinely aroused and wanting her but there is no action ‘down there’!

 

Thanks a lot, Unhooked. Am going to try a 90-day reset and see where it gets me.

During the reset period is it still ok to engage in me giving her oral sex? Sorry to be graphic (!) but with young kids, any long drawn out touching/foreplay is next to impossible so it’s the only way we can be physically intimate at the moment.

 

Thanks for your helpful feedback, Unhooked!

As a newbie it is at times a challenge trying to figure out what is permitted and what isn’t. Came across these wise and memorable words by someone else on here:

“Do the things you want to do for the rest of your life, stop the ones you don’t.”

I think that sums the position up very well!

Thanks again for your input.

 

Thank you SpiritAnimal and Jason_Tesla_19 for your encouraging responses! I am now on day 22 of my reboot. From an earlier relapse I know the warning signs to watch out for when my old neural pathways are being re-engaged.

Just hope it is not too late to save my marriage...

 

So...I’m back. Chronicling my journey once more. And during a pandemic to boot!

 

No...I reverted back to old behaviour and habits. Stopping it now tho.