I really don't know how I'm going to find a girlfriend....

Hey, don't be so defeatist and don't blame others for your own situation. It's not fair on yourself or others and it won't lead you anywhere good.

Look at you, your on day 0. Would you date you? Why do you want a girlfriend? To fill an emotional and physical need?

You need to do some serious soul searching and looking at what you want, why you want it and how to achive it. It won't happen in an instant - these things take time. You yourself say your not very good with girls, how can you change this? What would make you more attractive and what would bring you more joy?

Want a GF is not a bad thing (for the right reasons) and chasing after it is fine, but remeber that God is there with you and he should be your number one or your not going to feel like everything is right. You can have all the happiness in the world but never experience joy and contentment.

I am worries for you with that last line, it's comming from a bitter and resentful place - THATS NOT YOU! These are lies! The girls you are looking for are not those girls anyways (and I don't know many christian girls who are like that).

There are girls out that, no there are women out there who are waiting for a Godly man to walk into their lives and are struggaling with their singleness as much as you are, it's a fight and battle to deal with your emotions and conquor them but you must! Even when in a relasionship there will be times that it is difficult, if you can'tdefeat PMO now then it's the first thing you will turn to when things go wrong anyways, no women can ever fill that whole because it's a whole that can never be entirely satisfied by getting what you want.

I know I may have been a bit harsh - but I am in the same palce as you right now and these are the things I would also say to myself. Come back at me! Lets fight and move forward!

 

Very well said !

 

I can totally relate. I recommend several books [link].

Suggestions (in no particular order):

1. CBT. Unf*ck your mind in general.
2. Reboot. Unf*ck your mind about women.
3. Continue your bible study stuff. That's always good.

Bonus:

1. Dance classes. The "leave-room-for-Jesus" social dancing & ballroom dancing (more physically intimate) -- lots of women there.

Hope that helps.

 

Wow. That's a good streak. Yeah, it's a rough ride. Hang in there.

 

Hi, zxcv. I've known quite a few women who have said the same as you, but in reverse of course. They just don't meet any men in their daily lives. Almost seems more like a logistics problem than anything else! What about trying some activities where the women almost always outnumber the men? Like dance lessons. Or cooking. Or a book club. These might not be your preferred activities, but I think a lot of women would be impressed that you're willing to step outside your comfort zone. Just a thought. Good luck!

 

well, I would blame sexism.. about that..
I'm a gay person, so.. in my world, doesn't have sexism, so.. people do whatever they want.. (like, if you want a date, go to tinder, if you want casual sex, go to grindr...)
so with more equality, people get more open and free for do what they want. that's why is rare find gays that have problems with relationships (ofc, it happens, but very few, at least all my friends are ok).

 

Go on a dating website my man.

 

A girlfriend is nice, but it introduces new problems.

 

tru

true

 

STOP CHASING girls and START ATTRACTING them. That's the difference ! Also STOP looking for girls in your church, and look OUTSIDE the church. There are plenty of well grounded moral girls NOT in the church.