Attraction now gone with PA

Yes but it only lasted for a short time after each DDAY big or small , small maybe a few days , big one like a week I would just look at him like a stranger not so much “repulsed”

 

It goes up and down for me. He can be hard to live with sometimes. Other times he can be attractive. Anytime I suspect he’s PMO I get turned off. I get turned off when I feel objectified. Mostly because I don’t want to be classified with the porn women he faps to.

 

The attraction to my husband has dimmed a bit. I believe it’s a knock on effect from the betrayal trauma, the loss of trust, low self esteem especially with my post pregnancy body but I also feel that something has broken inside of me after d-day #3. I love my husband like I would a family member but I am unsure if I still love him romantically. (He knows this too) It’s all a bit muddled up. He and I are starting to see therapists next week and I’m giving him a chance but he knows that one more goddamn lie and I’m gone with our newborn son.

 

I see my husband as a stranger sometimes. He has shown me much love since Dday and has worked very hard in recovery but admittedly, something is not there that was before Dday. I don't know him, I don't trust him. Sometimes I look at him and I can see the man I love and am so attracted to him and sometimes, just feel disgusted and repulsed and my chest literally feels crushed when I look at him. I feel like I have a split personality on this one.

 

I think a big part of attraction is feeling safe with that person. If you no longer feel safe, he becomes the enemy and kills attraction. Re-building the trust, talking openly about how you feel, and ultimately feeling safe with him again may bring the attraction back.

 

My attraction is still there. I’m dying for my husband affection in bed. Either he is a PA or not attracted to me. I’m starting to feel numb. I’m sick to my stomach 98% of the time. I wish it would turn to hate and disguest. I feel pathetic to hold on to something thats just not there.

 

Yes this happened to me with the last partner I had. I went cold after finding the porn and it just never came back. Like a door slamming and locking and it simply couldn't be opened again.