1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

PMO is destroying my life from the inside...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by iwillbepornfree, Jan 8, 2015.

  1. iwillbepornfree

    iwillbepornfree New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    1
    Hi,

    I am new to Nofap, but I'm so sick (physically and mentally) of being a terrible person on the inside while playing the good guy on the outside.

    I am a 30 year old male, married with three great kids and it sickens me to think of how much of my life has been wasted on this stuff. I have been an addict since I was about 10 or 11 and have never gone more than 30 days without some sort of PMO.

    I used to care about others in a very real and sincere way and now that characteristic has turned to selfishness. My wife asks me from time to time how I'm doing, but I still struggle being fully honest with her.

    I need help. I have never and pleaded to God for that help and so many times I have felt like he wasn't there. Yesterday I was about to give in again and I pleaded again for God's help and that's when He led me to this site.

    Now I don't know how many religious people there are on here and it doesn't matter, but I believe that we all experience challenges and that we were meant to help each other with those challenges regardless of our differences. So I how that by joining this community I can get the help I seek and possibly lift another along the way.

    Thanks for reading.
    We can be porn free.
     
  2. DireWolf

    DireWolf Fapstronaut

    509
    77
    28
    Aye!, we all have felt the same misery that P garbage makes us, it corrodes our brain but we can break free from it, you have made the right choice, you dont need god to defeat the vice you hold the power within, you can do this BREAK FREE!
     
  3. iwillbepornfree

    iwillbepornfree New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    1
    Thank you for your words of encouragement DireWolf. As for God's help, I can't discount it. He has helped me achieve everything I've ever done that's been worthwhile and I need all the help I can get!
     
  4. Broken_made_new

    Broken_made_new Fapstronaut

    30
    3
    8
    Hey I just want to encourage you. One of the most powerful tools I had that allowed me to quit for so long was, information, cold hard information, and then at the same time was like you, I kept praying, and stopped feeling bad and I felt like God wasn't there. I then realized that this is something God wants me to handle on my own. Other wise he would of fixed this a long time ago and or also that maybe this is simply his way of helping me by telling me to take full responsibility for this and let him handle other things.

    So I don't put God out of the equation but at the same I'm not counting on him to quit for me or to make me quit. I gotta do it, and you can do it to. You can return back to your original self.

    Another tool was an acountability partner, thats been probably the most powerful thing of all.
     
  5. Man of Honor

    Man of Honor Fapstronaut

    28
    1
    3
    I too am a Christian and have struggled with this for my entire life. Pray, Bible study, and even accountability partners did not set me free. When I found this site, along with fightthenewdrug.com, yourbrainonporn.com, I began to learn about the process of porn and why it was so hard to get rid of. I hit bottom with my wife and knew that if I didn't change, my marriage was in danger. I guess you could say that my perspective changed from seeing pmo as a sin, which it is, to something that is corroding my life away from the inside. It's not wrong just bc God said it is. It's wrong bc it's a self destructive poison, and that's why God said to stay away. I found new motivation by reading about others who are ahead of me in this journey of purity. I found encouragement from this website and others like it.

    The struggle is still there. Just last night I saw something on my iPad and had to change the page. It was a struggle. But now after over a hundred days of no PMO, I am a different man. My sex life is great. My affection and servant-attitude towards my wife is genuine. I am happy at work. I am working out regular and seeing a difference in the mirror. My wife says that me staying off of porn has completely changed our life. (The fact that she knew that I struggled with it was a really tough conversation, but it helped me change.)

    I understand your disgust with yourself. That's a good thing. Move that disgust from yourself to your actions. You are a better man than looking at pics of young women on the computer. You are strong. Keep plugged into your walk with the Lord, but also learn as much as you can about the harmful effects of porn. Knowledge is power. You can do this. The fight is hard, but the reward is so worth it.
     
  6. VanillaMochi

    VanillaMochi Fapstronaut

    1,253
    84
    48
    Welcome to NoFap. :)

    A few things that I've implemented since joining this site are:

    1) Set my homepage to http://www.nofap.org/forum/forum.php
    2) I'm keeping my door open at all times to make it hard to PMO. I live with two female roommates.
    3) Bookmarked http://emergency.nofap.org - it works best if you don't keep hitting refresh but take what you need from it and move on.
    4) I'm taking cold showers.
    5) I did some research on http://www.yourbrainonporn.com and watched the Ted talks videos there.
    6) I'm reading/posting as much as I can on this forum.
    7) I'm keeping a daily journal and created a counter to track my progress.
    8) I wear a rubber band on my wrist that I snap whenever I have a sexual thought or become aroused.
    9) I flex all of my muscles rhythmically whenever I feel like I'm going to get an erection to direct blood flow away from it.
    10) I've watched "Sacred Sexuality" videos on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/user/SacredS...sort=da&view=0

    For brand new members I recommend doing these three things:

    1. Create a journal and post in it everyday, especially when you get urges. Just writing down that I have an urge helps to alleviate it.

    2. Set a goal and create a PMO counter to track your progress. Copy and paste it in to your signature. (You can edit your signature in your account settings.)

    3. Read and respond to other peoples journals. This will help to make you realize that you are not alone and give you hope and ideas on how to further develop in your recovery.

    If you do these three things you'll be off to a great start.

    Best of luck.

    - vM
     
  7. iwillbepornfree

    iwillbepornfree New Fapstronaut

    4
    0
    1
    Thanks for the advice guys. I especially appreciate what dt2k and Man of Honor said. I think that one of my biggest downfalls is not taking action on my own and just praying that I can change. I have to stop thinking about changing and start the process.
     
  8. krashTest

    krashTest Fapstronaut

    15
    1
    3
    I can relate in many ways. I first viewed porn when I was 10. Though I've only begun to track my habits recently, have rarely gone longer than a month without PMO. My reset yesterday ended a 42 day run, which by all accounts is my longest in living memory.

    I would suggest continuing to pray. I like to use the analogy of someone stuck inside of a building, trying to escape. Doing it on your own may bring some results but we all get stuck, go up and down the same path looking for a way out. God can open these doors for you, but ultimately its your choice if you want go through the door. He doesn't interfere with our free will. He won't solve this for you but provides guidance to make the right choice.

    We are a communal species by nature and I completely agree with you that we all need help. Having an accountability partner is an excellent option to consider. There are also Christian groups here on this forum as well.

    Have patience and thank God for this small step in coming here.

    Cheers,
     

Share This Page