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How to deal with lust?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Harun de Maistre, Oct 1, 2018.

  1. Hello everyone;
    I'm for the first time in my life in the middle of a reboot while I'm in a relationship. The first time I tried NoFap I was in a sorry state in my life. In my first I was really excited and I have gone for 1 week in my first attempt. That was my highest streak. After that my reboots gradually transformed into a general anti-masturbation attitude. I never tried a serious NoFap reboot for maybe a year or more. Today I'm not in a sorry state in my life. I'm in a wonderful 10 month relationship with a girl a love, my life quality is steadily improving and I don't have any sexually problematic behavior beside prone masturbation (Which haven't caused any visible problem but God knows what the damage is. Scary shit deserving his own tread). So even though I don't "need" a reboot per se, I really can use the extra life force that comes from abstaining from masturbation. I remember the first time I tried. I was so energetic and awesome.

    Problem: Normally I would have gone for a PM streak but my girlfriend doesn't want to have sex before marriage and neither do I. But we do anything beside sex. So "Hardest Mode" it has to be. The problem is that I don't know how to continue making out with her and continue my streak. I remember from my first time around 7th day I will want to jump on everything with long hair (Which it is another problem considering she's really jealous but 1 problem at a time). I can't continue to be physically close with her and continue my reboot. I'm on day 2 and I haven't open up the subject to her yet. Last time I said "I'm trying to stop masturbation" she looked like I was crazy. How I can tell her the benefits of NoFap and how can I involve her into this?

    Thank in advance for your advice.
     
  2. Talking to her in a way that makes it
    a mutual effort and goal may be a way to bring you closer.

    What can be harder that moving at cross purposes? If you both are waiting, then connect in the waiting.
     
    Harun de Maistre likes this.
  3. Dannyboy25

    Dannyboy25 Fapstronaut

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    I am in a relationship too and to be honest you'll will have to tell her that you're practicing nofap or just tell her that you are not in the mood.
    Even the women let the men know when they aren't in the mood right?? So why don't we want to??
    I also read somewhere that the semen is the creative juice and women need that right?? So essentially they are the leachers. Now I know that people may think of me as a sexist but you have to understand that women also want the best man because they want the best quality semen that's why the whole competition started and the hierarchy in the social circles. We may not have develpded it on purpose but it's in our nature to want the best.
    I've also read that how we get more attractive and have that glow when we conserve semen the same way women need oxytocin to have those effects which is secreted when they have sex, it's am exchange. I may be wrong about this part because even women practice nofap but it's what I read.
    Let her know that you don't want to indulge in anything now and maybe start later when you develop some more control.
    Good luck brother and I hope you succeed on your nofap journey.
     
  4. user10111

    user10111 Fapstronaut

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    This might be really true.. Ever since I stopped excessive M and watching P, Some girls tell me i have become attractive and my skin is always glowing.
     
    Dannyboy25 likes this.
  5. Thank you all for your responses guys. I will surely introduce her to NoFap but turns out I greatly underestimated the process. It wasn't like starting exercises or any other casual self-improvement project. Turns out M was covering a great deal of sexual frustrations from my past. I dreamt about a ex-platonic love of mine and fantasized her due to chaser effect. I passed that day but relapsed the day after only to find out my student visa could be canceled. It all went down from there I didn't even kept track. I'm restarting today. Let's see how it will go. The reboot is dark and full of terors!
     
  6. RecoveringLion

    RecoveringLion Fapstronaut

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    Just a thought. Not watching game of thrones will probably help in your journey of NoFap :p
     
    Reverent and Trappist like this.

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