I need your help, I need your advice and tips, please! I NEED TO QUIT!!!!

If you are having a hard time doing this alone, find an accountability partner, preferably someone close. If not find someone here.
Don't give up. Do everything you can.
This is not easy but you can do it. The question is, will you?
I know you can.

 

First of all, you say that you want to quit fast.

That is impossible.

Recovering from porn addiction takes time, effort, dedication, consistency, discipline, commitment and confidence in your ability to reach your goals. You have to take this issue seriously and actively work daily if you wish to recover. You need to learn about this addiction to beat it. Insight gives you rationale for beating this addiction.

Your problem seems to be with controlling your urges to even get past a few days. A very helpful method that I learned was urge surfing. By simply letting your urges come, stay in the thought but never act out your primal urges, they will eventually lift and leave. Here is an audio guide:

http://depts.washington.edu/abrc/mbrp/recordings/Urge Surfing.mp3

I have also found this Youtube channel, and this video in particular, to be incredibly helpful. But once again, the requirements from your part are of utmost necessity.



Hope this helps!

 

Hey there, please don't despair...

I can imagine you're feeling deflated! But it's okay, it's very unlikely to never relapse and until you find a process which is right for you...this may seem tiring at times.

Firstly, I'm an SO. I do a great deal of reading here as my struggle is to support my partner and process my own burdens. Anyway...
So, the first thing I would like to suggest, is to attempt de-stressing with anything other than PMO obviously...b'coz you seem anxious and even mild stress can trigger craves/urges. I've added a link to someone else's thread for you; one of the posts (#15) explains the process of the PA brain, chemical balances, triggers etc - you may know this already but...just in case;

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/reboot-25-yo-hardmode.195474/#post-1693326 (this whole thread/journal is great! You may wish to read the whole thing)

Pretty much everyone here including me, emphasize the importance of being able to tackle or cope with compulsions and learn the root cause of the addiction...this is the main objective of course. However, if during the early stages you're struggling with compulsive behavior, IMHO get rid of any devices which cause 'sensitization'...

'Sensitization occurs when the brain wires together sights, sounds, smells, sensations, emotions and memories associated with big reward (i.e. masturbation to porn).'

So your brain is still looking for the 'big reward' and may do for some time. This could include, laptops, mobiles, certain situations and feelings such as (stress/loneliness/boredom) etc. - for my BF it's getting into bed at night and having his mobile/laptop in work etc. So, he no longer uses his personal mobile - he has a more primitive model now...without internet access. He is used to this and no longer thinks about his previous mobile. Also, on his other devices we have parental control.

This is just while he's in a state of not being able to trust himself. It's so his brain has a chance to at least reboot and begin to rewire Obviously it's very important to not White Knuckle your way through...abstinence is only part of the recovery process, rewiring needs to take place and White knuckling does not do this...it's just removes the P.

As for the laptop, it's been more difficult. My SOs had a few stumbles, using proxies etc. As suggested previously, have you considered an AP?
Or even confide in someone you know and trust or the opposite, a therapist?
Someone who can assist you with 'blockers' or even more importantly, accountability.

Deleting the 'blockers' is obviously counterproductive so you probably need to focus finding something which switches your brain toward the logical. Exercise your prefrontal cortex.
It can be a difficult journey, especially to be motivated when alone, but try to strengthen will power.
Look outside of NoFap. Research your brain, cognitive therapies and techniques etc.

Outline your reasons for quitting PMO - outline everything...from reasons, triggers, personal goals and so on. Use your craves to learn about yourself, really dig deep and feel them out...much like the above audio track from The Box.

Assess the crave;

• What part of my body is reacting? Body, brain, where?
• What is the sensation within my body?
• Is this a sensation or an emotion, or both?
• If any, what emotion has brought me here? Anxiety/stress/loneliness/boredom etc

This needs to happen whilst breathing slowly and calmly processing your current condition/state. During a crave, we become anxious. During anxiety the only physical symptom we can control is our breathing - attempt to get this under control and the rest of your body will follow the calming process. It can take practice of course

This will also kick start your brains frontal lobes - (includes prefrontal cortex and motor cortex etc etc).This needs exercise for recovery and is responsible for;

• Motor Functions
• Higher Order Functions
• Planning
• Reasoning
• Judgment
• Impulse Control
• Memory
• Language and Speech

Reference: https://www.thoughtco.com/anatomy-of-the-brain-cerebral-cortex-373217

You're essentially breaking down the process of a crave - which can help change the brains focus and exercise different parts of your brain; strengthening these parts aids recovery too!
Start communicating with yourself about your needs, assess your feelings etc. Write them instead of thinking about them and say them out loud (if you can). Maybe even whilst moving (motor function). Exercise is crucial too and lots of it!

You may have done these things, it's difficult to say as I don't know much about your situation. You're clearly dedicated and be proud of yourself, even if you're on day 0 or 1.
You've made the decision to self improve and heal - that's a great step! IMHO...it's the most important step.

What have you tried already?

 

Thank you for this; she almost sent me to sleep!

 

Porn blockers are fine and the right way to go however, they are only one tool in the toolbox.
You need to use other tactics to recon your brain as all it is thinking about at present is 1. porn and 2. how to access it.
Distract yourself with people, busy yourself with activities, tire yourself with the gym or running and defuse yourself with cold showers.
Finally use the tools and people on this site to help and support.