Strange thoughts :/

Well on my way in my self improvement journey now and happy to say I will be posting my 30 day update in a few days time. having some really strange thoughts pop into my head over the past few days and I'm curious if anybody has experienced something similar?

I'm in a long term committed relationship with a very physically attractive girl, however our sex life is almost none existent at this point, In the past couple of years she would use sex as a weapon and pretty much class it as payment for being able to control me.

As of the past week for some reason something has switched in my head, despite restricting myself on this journey and her being the only way I can achieve O I no longer desire it from her.

I put this down to "flat-lining" however my sex drive is still there but for other girls..

A good example of this would be a colleague I'm currently working with, although not as physically attractive as my partner (by anybody's standards) I find myself anomored with her I get excited to see her, enjoy talking to her and even find myself craving her physically. I am now having dreams of a sexual nature with her.

I'm not looking to do anything rash, and almost as quickly as I advance with her I purposefully push her back away as for the first time In my life I don't trust myself (never cheated in any relationship).

I guess the question is am I just experiencing lust? I'm not happy with my current partner but we have been together for years, despite not being happy I do feel a bond with her as we've been together for so long and she is by all means extremely physically attractive, why do I have no absolutely desire at all to be romantic with her but I do with others?

All responses are appreciated

 

26 days into my final reboot (this time it's permanent) previously changed my life with NoFap years ago where I kicked the habit for the best part of 2 years until going back to PMO around a year into this relationship out of maybe boredom and a false feeling that I had achieved everything I had set out to get from it. I missed the powers, the confidence, the life I had without the habit and now I know it's for life. in terms of talks, letting her know my feelings, spicing things up etc, all tried and failed

 

It's an unbelievable feeling, being able to see clearly now what is happening with clarity, just need to figure out what to do about it now :/ am I being shallow I feel like I'm being forced to do things i don't want to do just by investing into her at this point, is it really possible to just go off someone just like that? we've been through a lot together and I do have strong feelings for her that would take a lot of getting over. And in terms of a relationship making someone happy I have never been able to see that, I can see how it's beneficial to a woman but not to a man other than those who would otherwise struggle to find intimacy else where, maybe I'm just not built for a relationship at all.