The Secrets of Success

Who I am:

I am male, in my thirties. I discovered porn at 12 but didn’t start with it, or masturbating until 14 or thereabouts. Started with magazines, then internet porn at 16. My frequency in that phase was always once a day before bed, sometimes twice on a weekend before bed if I had been out drinking and smoking. From 20 until 24 my frequency seemed to be every other day but I also began experimenting with once a week, then two weeks. Wasn’t aware of NoFap, might not even have existed at that point, but I had already begun my reading into philosophy and became exposed to retention ideas. The greatest negative I ever experienced was DE but I never had trouble becoming aroused with a woman or finishing, despite my first sexual experience being at 24.

I have done two 6+ month monk mode streaks. One ended last night on my own volition, to porn, and the first ended when I had a wet dream at the 7 month mark. In both instances the ejaculate was brown. The wet dream, as you can imagine, freaked me out. There was no sexual imagery in the dream but just a pure physiological expulsion. This was preceded by a clear lucid/vivid dream a night or two before where there was clear symbolism that my system was congested and stagnant, and my body was clearly communicating that fact to me in the dream as I had no physical symptoms or discomfort in the waking state to alert my conscious mind to that fact.

I have a few bits of perspective I wish to share, which have come from my years of esoteric philosophical diggings. Not here to preach, just to share and see what comes of it.

Firstly I see no reference anywhere in the community to the fact that the prostate is a gland and as such it needs to be treated that way. We have individuals who have an insanely high sexual frequency rate and then proceed to dam themselves up completely, and then wonder why they are relapsing or having physical issues. You can’t treat a gland that way; sexual frequency has to be tapered off before you stop completely. So if your rate is once a day then start doing once every 2 days for a week, then once every 3 days for a week, gradually reducing the frequency and giving the gland time to adapt.

Relating to that point is the mental component. You can drop a habit in an instant with focused will but it is difficult, especially if you have no prior experience or psychological insight. That goes for all habits, period. The mind and thoughts really do control all of this, and this is another area NoFap fails to address adequately – the neurological reward circuitry aspect is only one half of the equation; sex always begins in the mind. If you have a high frequency rate your mind will be saturated with thought-forms pertaining to sex, and this is regardless of which sexual act you indulge in. More importantly from the moment you have your first sexual experience as a teenager or whenever, regardless of whether it be masturbation, oral, PIV etc, a channel is opened in your mind towards that sex act that serves as a pipe line for nature to irritate your mind towards continued release in the hopes of procreation. In short, we are deliberately implanted and motivated towards sex, which we all “know” of course but we falsely assume it is purely a genetic implant or physiologically based when in fact it is a mental operation, one that the field of psychology does not understand (because it believes the mind does not exist, that neurology is all we possess). The key thing to understand here is that thoughts do not belong to you, they arise in your mind and your ego identifies with them regardless of their origin. The sexual arousal thought process is inflicted upon us and it was designed this way to ensure continued reproduction of a species. The degree of self-consciousness that humans possess, and freedom from the clockwork reproductive cycles we see in other biological life means we would be reluctant to copulate without outside motivation. Did you ever stop to wonder why our sexual frequency is so high? Why people do such stupid things for sex, even sometimes to the point of murder and then subsequently getting sent to the electric chair? Do you believe as a man you would have anything to do with a woman at all if you weren’t endlessly motivated to get inside her pants? We love taking ownership over this process and identifying with sex, but the truth is we are not in control of it at all - we are possessed. I doubt anyone reading this will understand or even entertain what I’ve just written but I feel like sharing it anyway in the off chance one person may ‘get it’.

There’s a lot of garbage in this community about retention, orgasm without ejaculation, all wrapped up in these eastern religious ideas which people have no true understanding of and are just repeating:

· Pure physical retention has physical benefits, but the real secret is not there but in the orgasm itself. The orgasm is where the most energy is lost, not the semen. The brain lights up like a christmas tree and energy is transferred, broadcast out of the body and harvested. Those pursuing orgasm without ejaculation miss the point entirely, not to mention they place undue stress on the prostate gland by stimulating without release.

· Kundalini/Transmutation. In short there is nothing magical about this. Transmutation occurs by the conservation and conversion of gland energy (semen) into mental energy, which is achieved by application of concentration upon a task or mental process. If you have a high sexual frequency your energy goes in that direction, until you practice moderation and allow some of the energy to be naturally diverted to other tasks. Over time it becomes more established and sexual desire decreases, which happens in tandem with clearing up of the mind and self-analysis to the point that you know where sexual desire is really coming from.

· A prolonged period of celibacy can clear the mind up of unwanted thoughts and thought intrusions. This is perhaps the greatest benefit of all. It can be used to heal mental illnesses and bring a person back into health that is depleted or unbalanced. But you must take into account the prostate gland process mentioned. It is also highly beneficial to anyone undertaking a pursuit of self-knowledge or enlightenment.

· You can’t go from 0-60 in an instant. The body/gland frequency must be modulated and critically the mind must be understood and purified through introspection. It takes time to accumulate the self-knowledge and maturity break away from the pattern.

· Masturbation is not individually or collectively healthy. Neither are any other sexual acts, except for heterosexual intercourse. They are not sins, evil or wrong, just from a mental standpoint they are not healthy. This is related to what actually occurs in our minds in regards to the sexual impulse, the pipeline I mentioned. Nature only offers mental protection for the sexual act that ends in procreation; that is Natures agenda. I think many older people will attest to the fact that they feel somehow more uncluttered, less mentally troubled, when they are engaged in a pattern of heterosexual intercourse and not masturbating at all, or engaging in other acts. The prevalence of mental troubles today, especially in the youth and non-heteroseuxal communities, is a direct result of not understanding this law of nature. All the major religions understood this through thousands of years of direct observation of personal and collective behaviour. It has nothing to do with being a prude – nature has an agenda, laws, and we are not free to do as thou wilt.

· You can prevent wet dreams. The same mental mechanism that afflicts you in the waking state can get you at night - the myth of the incubus/succubus. Basically you are more vulnerable at night because most people do not have the self-awareness to see what is happening to their mind in the sleep state and can be out manoeuvred more easily. Once you develop a degree of self-awareness you can catch the process as it is happening and abort it. I have done this repeatedly, but, it is not healthy.. because regardless of where the arousal is coming from your prostate will be getting stimulated and primed for release. Denying it causes strain. Again the only route to success is understanding and battling sex in the mind first, not in the body.

· We are not designed for prolonged periods of retention. Despite all the repeated stuff you hear about Brahmacharya and other Indian/Eastern motifs. Nature will allow you leave to pursue it, but not indefinitely. You are here to reproduce. Celibacy can be done, and is most definitely worthwhile, but only really up until 40 years old when the physical body begins to decay and the prostate loses its agility so to speak; after this point you run a risk of developing issues.


Finally, I do not believe pornography alone is the issue here. It is a detriment without question, but all we know is that some people use it and have issues, and some people do not use it and don’t have issues, generally speaking. What is never really discussed in detail is how it is used and what is occurring in the mind of the person using it. Watching one video as inspiration and shifting focus to the sensations is miles apart from compulsively viewing and clicking around incessantly. Death grip is miles apart from light stroking and miles apart from using a simulated vagina, and all miles apart from real sex. It’s not so much ‘over stimulation’ of the reward circuitry but more akin to what is occurring in the mind of the individual, that is where the real crux of the issue is.

If you think you’re safe by just using fantasy and not pornography you’re missing the point too. You can create mental thought forms this way that perturb your mind just as much if not more than pornography, so much so in fact you can actually breathe life into them and then you’re in serious trouble. This is a practice that eastern monks have been known to indulge in, and the odd serial killer has confessed to being tied up in (imaginary sexual partner). In the end the only healthy outlet is heterosexual intercourse.


From my own experimentation I feel the benefits for me sit around the 4-5 month mark of monk mode celibacy. After that point self-temptation prompted by physical need for cleansing comes in, as once the desire starts in the mind then release becomes a necessity. Up until that 4-5 month mark keeping my mind clear is possible, but the body eventually prompts arousal itself for cleaning purposes. I enjoy the peace of mind, focus, clarity, and extra mental energy that celibacy provides.

What I’ve learned from those prolonged monk mode episodes, and many multi-month attempts, is that the mental component of all of this is primary. I do not feel any guilt for watching one video once a month as inspiration. I don’t feel the hook that I did as a teenager, the need for escape or pursuit of the pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, my orgasms are incredibly powerful as previous partners will attest to, but it doesn’t drive me anymore; there is no routine or end reward at a set period of time anymore, it’s all gone. It still feels amazing but I don’t crave it or pursue it, I can indulge and then drop it for months on end without qualm. I believe this is a result of my interest in philosophy and pursuit of self-knowledge, coming to the direct experiential realization that it is all mental, whilst understanding that you’ll never be totally free of it. It’s all about finding a balance, unless you want to destroy desire completely as in enlightenment but that’s a whole different thing.

 

I could reference my philosophical sources but it wouldn't matter so much anyway, they're not peer reviewed or scientifically approved. Tried in the past but just end up being hounded out anyway as it's not palatable to modern audiences.

Two points I forgot to add:

• Retention improves intuition. This relates to 'superpowers' and perceived acknowledgement by the opposite sex when sexually conservative; women can sense the increased internal voltage, but also the males improved intuition allows him to pick up on that response in the female, as well as other general social cues more accurately. Intuitive ability stretches well beyond just improved perception of the opposite sex - it begins to cross over into the realm of what would be labelled telepathy.
• Retention/Conservation of sexual energy, and its transmutation, is real power. Again relating to 'superpowers' and why some guys feel like they can now crush everything they attempt; whilst confidence improves with retention there is also a parallel growth in real dynamic power. They feel this intuitively but label it all under confidence when in fact there is two things happening. You can build tremendous momentum in your life using retention. Conversely this is why so many young men feel so pathetic and helpless, because they have drained all this dynamic power out of themselves through excessive sexual outlet - the body will always prioritize reproductive capacity over your individual health, even if it means draining vitality from other areas of the body.
• Both of the above points related to what might be called subtle processes, which are not acknowledged by modern physiological understanding and are not defined properly by those who improve themselves, even though they may feel it intuitively (they lack the concepts or paradigm to define it with language).

A personal observation from breaking my 6 month streak the other day:

I purchased a well known male sex toy, an artificial vagina - not sure if you're allowed to mention brands here. Figured if I'm going to do a maintenance occasionally then I should get away from using a hand. A condom was utilized also to reduce friction and contact with the artificial rubber substance (no idea how they make it chemically and I wouldn't trust their claims it's totally safe, even though they're well known.). There is definitely a different bodily response as opposed to using the hand and the orgasm is different, and the after effect.. a little bit tired but not wired or hazy as you would with your hand. Seemed similar to how I feel after sex, minus the warm glow that comes from bonding. I suspect there is something occurring when your own hand is utilized in terms of voltage across the skin of the hand to your genitals, and some sort of negative neurological feedback loop in the brain that is triggered by that electrical connection; nature could use a negative feedback loop to moderate this (masturbation) undesirable trait.

 

The body has a remarkable ability to heal itself, indeed. The vitamins, minerals and others are important no doubt too. There is however a subtle component, a voltage, that we manufacture which can not be gained directly from ingestion; it is produced by the transmutation of food and/or gland energy over time by the body. It is lost at the point of orgasm. Retention or at least sexual restraint allows this to accumulate as opposed to discharging it all out of the body; it is far easier, and quicker, for the body to convert down this voltage to more gross forms of energy than it is to generate it in the first place.

I disagree with your statement about sexual immorality being a sin, I only see things in terms of what is wise or healthy, physically or psychologically; I do not believe in sin. I do however respect your position, and if you find it helps guide your life then all the more power to you.

 

The one weakness of the NoFap community is the deification of the anti-fap psychological process, as is similar in the anti-smoking crowd. In other words we give far too much credence and power to the negative thoughts, putting much energy into battling them whilst also taking full responsibility for the negative thoughts as our own and then lamenting when we fail. Has anyone proven that all these thoughts are their own? Are you duty bound to accept them at face value?..

It is a far more effective strategy to deny them battle in the first place. Begin turning your head away and start lessening the identification with them.

When you get on a streak your mind, and nature, will assault you from many different directions. It can be incredibly devious too; some events and reactions during the day setting off a whole string of seemingly unrelated events that culminate in a rationalization that leads to eventual sexual release. Sometimes it is almost perceptible that you're being out witted by yourself and other external factors, though it often occurs after the fact and you realize you've been played.

Again the most effective strategy is turning away. Breaking the identification, not just in regards to sexual thoughts but in general; people refer to it as mindfulness. How you approach it and which method or meditation is most effective for you will vary depending on personality and inclinations. I can only recommend investigating further on your own. It will benefit your entire life, especially if you are sincere - you are not alone.

I would have to write a book detailing my life and inner processes to give you insight on how to deal with hard times, because my life 'story' is only relevant to me and how I go about outwitting the outwitting is thus very subjective. Only you know your own story; you have to find your own ways of not identifying with your pain, your story, your motivations and thought processes, and all that ultimately drives you to release. The only universal I can give is try to face truth at all times, hunger for it, and you'll move in that direction.

Prana/Chi: I'm open to it but I don't study it or make much of it. Chakra's may just be bundles of nerves. You could spend a lifetime investigating it, but for what purpose? All I know for sure is that retention does inevitably lead to an increased potency of some sort of voltage in the body.

I don't want a sexual relationship at the moment as I have neither the time or inclination for it. I also respect that my body may need a release after months of celibacy. It is a compromise, and it is better than using your hand. There is scant information and people around who know how to approach total celibacy in healthy way, and until I find it this is a fair compromise for me.