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Did I Relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Move_Along1991, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. Move_Along1991

    Move_Along1991 Fapstronaut

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    Okay, I was woken up yesterday morning by my cousin who was getting ready for school. I then fell right back to sleep and began to have this weird lucid dream about some porn show or website. In the dream I was seeing porn run throughout my entire mind, and I was on a couch humping it for whatever reason. I know this sounds silly, but when I was humping the couch in the dream, in reality, I was on my side sleeping. As the wet dream ended I could feel myself on my side thrusting back and forth like I was humping the bed; again, this dream was extremely weird, smh. I have had wet dreams before though, but not one where I was slightly humping my bed. Does this count as relapse guys? I don't think it does...and I highly doubt I was genuinely thrusting my bed because I was on my side, but it felt like I really was, and it felt like I really was a part of the experience, like it was so real. Idk...
     
  2. BackcountryCamping

    BackcountryCamping Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't count this as a relapse. You can't control what your brain does during sleep. You have probably PMO for so long that your brain is filling the void with those images. Your brain is a real powerful thing. Just be careful this doesn't cause you to go searching for porn.
     
  3. heyitshannes

    heyitshannes Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, that's not a relapse. Dreams about viewing porn are very common among the guys here. Many of us have them after a couple of days of abstaining. Don't stress to much about it. Like BackcountryCamping said though, just watch out that you don't now go searching for porn.
     
  4. Move_Along1991

    Move_Along1991 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your input, and exactly what both of you said happened yesterday. I feel a bit mad at myself for relapsing. I know my counter says that my relapse will be until I M to P, and, yes, I still have not M'd to P and O'd, but I caught myself not being able to refrain from looking up things on craigslist. How desperate is that, right? To look for women online to meet up and have sex with. It's just a huge disappointment to me that I looked up that stuff that contained some nude photos of girls attached. I then looked up a sexting site, and all around the site contained porn ads. This is a relapse for me, and I have to learn the hard way by starting over and resetting my counter. Is this too harsh? I know I've done good and have gotten much better, but, again, is this too harsh? Thank you guys.
     
  5. abc95

    abc95 Fapstronaut

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    It really depends man. A lot of guys here usually reset their counters when they look into P or any very stimulating pictures and videos that they have searched for. During my journey I'm trying to avoid all visual stimulation that I can, but I never reseted when looking at pictures, however I used to reset when I accessed P sites.
    Having P dreams is very common, I had a lot as an example, but never counted them as edging or relapsing. Just avoid getting into the sites after all.
    Best regards.
     
  6. Move_Along1991

    Move_Along1991 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for replying. I've been literally checking back to see if anyone has for a bit now. I know my mind was stimulated for some time, and that is what we must avoid at all cost. It'd just all so crazy how much I hate porn, but the mind can totally trick you until it's too late and you feel worse than you did before. I won't reset this time, but I will the very next time it happens. I didn't touch myself, I din't M to porn, and I was not near orgasm or anything like that. This will be a warning, and this will be the only one. For the future, if it happens again, then I'll reset. I don't want to kill my motivation completely if you get me.
     
  7. Move_Along1991

    Move_Along1991 Fapstronaut

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    So, I've been thinking about those photos I saw and mentioned. I've decided to go harsh on myself and make this journey much more difficult because I believe it's not meant for me to be allowed to type in something that does not compare to an actual woman right in front of me. I'm restarting my counter to zero, but it's not a failure I'm looking at, but an advancement in my journey. For now on, my task does not only fail when M to P and O, but I fail if I look at anything online other than a real woman. This will be hard, but I'll see how it works. Wish me luck, and God bless. Again, I don't count it as a true relapse, but I want to change my goal completely. It was only a relapse if I M'd to O through P or just O in general, but now I want to go on hard mode to see if I can prevail. No P at all or I'm starting completely over. My set goal in days will be shorter. God bless.
     
  8. matø

    matø Fapstronaut

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    Not a relapse!
     
  9. Move_Along1991

    Move_Along1991 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the response. I just felt like restarting my counter because I wanted it to get me motivated to participate on a hard mode if you want to call it that; I believe this will keep me completely away from anything ssexual.
     

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