The REASONS why I'm quiting this site.

I don't think one can overcome addiction always talking about it.
I think struggle is dellusion.
I think this community, full of good people, is unhealthy because we learn to depend on people who have the same obsession than us.
Actually, we spend our time here thinking about porn, masturbation, sex. I think THIS is the new addiction.
I think the only moment I feel free from urges is when I'm not on this site, always talking about my dick, my cum, my fantasies, my will, my obsessions.
I think you're all very brave and committed to the struggle, but I don't think one can win against libido. I think the only way to defeat it is not embrace our sexual desires without letting them killing us. We should be flexible about it. I feel like most people here are too preachy about the way they want to handle abstinence, as if it should be a straight line. This "from now on I'm clean", every psychologists, every member of anonymous addiction group has hear that one thousand times. I just don't believe in it.
I haven't jerk off for 5 days now and you know what? I DON'T WANT TO CARE about how many fucking days? Isn't this crazy that we're supposed to be free from something and we're counting days? We overthink it. It's not healty. I don't feel the need to jerk off right now, I feel fine and if tomorrow I want to do it, I will, or perhaps in a week or more, when it will come to me. I don't have to think about it and talk to other guys about how many days they haven't jerked and cum.... I'd rather get out, see friends, read, work, watch a movie....

I had the same kind of problem, with food. I did 100 diets. One day, I decided I would never do a diet anymore. I lost weight. I eat when I am hungry. And I feel fine now.

I hope some of you will follow that path because I think it's the best thing to do.
For those who totally disagree with me, I wish them luck and happiness.

Goodbye!

 

Thank you. Best luck to you too.

 

Thank you for your nice reply. I totally agree. And if this site helps a lot of people, I'm nobody to judge them or the way it works. I think this is the best way for me to deal with it. But I read very interesting texts from you and others and I learned a lot those last few days so I know I learned something here. I just want to not try too much and live this a little bit more carelessly so I decided to stop counting and stop being obsessed about it. It does not change the fact I decided I would not masturbate every day from now on, and I certainly don't need porn in my life. And if someday I do watch one, at least, I would not have spend weeks or months on porn site, and this is good. It's easier. I think it should be easy and not too painful because life is already hard enough as you all know. And I admire those who have the strength to set such impressive goals in their lives. For instance, you haven't masturbate for 34 days and I find is amazing. Really. If I make it, I'll be glad I think. I won't try hard but I'll give it a shot... (not the other kind of shot lol)

 

I will

Thank you.

 

Thank you. Best wishes ++

 

OK

So, first and foremost, I'd like to thank all the guys who sent me a nice private message, I did not think a lot of you would be with me on this, so thank you very much to you all.
I've been accused of being a troll. I'm not. What I've learn on the internet (we learn so much on the Internet, God Bless it...) is that a troll, most of the time, is someone who does not agree with us. Descrediting someone and calling him a troll just because you don't like what he says is the lowest form of argument.
If some of you may think I preached, well perhaps I did unintentionally but this was not the purpose.
I agree a lot with WalshKid. There is not only one path to succeed and beat our addictions, and everybody is, of course, entitle to his opinion.
I don't think I could change this community and I'm not a leader, I think it's great people have different opinions. But I think the principle of a community talking every day about sex and masturbation is not the healthiest way to deal with one's addiction. Perhaps it is for some of you and if it's the case, I apologize because it has never been my intention to tell you what is good for you. I just know what is good for me. And, yes, I'm giving up the battle because I think it's the only way to win it. I feel fine when I don't have to think of myself as a warrior who have to fight all day long not to touch himself. It's quite funny if you think about it. And I think this is what lacks to this comminity of nice people. Lightness. Frivolity. Life is hard enough and despite my respect for the courage of most of the members here, I think it's easier if we don't feel guilty and blame each other just because perfection is just unreachable. And I'd rather be happy.

So yes, there's an addiction, I wouldn't have come here if I haven't jacked off like a monkey for the past 10 years but what's the point if I'm still unhappy because it still feels like I'm fighting. It's been a week since I haven't masturbate and I feel fine. I don't feel the need to fight it. If I want to do it I'll do it! And I totally respect people who want to be abstinent. I find it great ! The only indicator that helps is the way you feel about it. As long as abstinence makes you happier than PMO, you should go on with it. But there's a right balance and as far as I'm concerned, I know j.o. 5 times a day was too much. Like I knew eating junk food all day long was too much. Most of the time, our addiction is the sign of something else going wrong with our lives. This is why I've recommended the wonderful movie SHAME by Steve McQueen. It helped me change my perspective about this problem. I've veen better every since and this is why I wanted you all to know about it. But some of you think it's wrong because it has sex scenes and told you all you shouldn't see it. The only think I can say about this is that it was like watching myself in a mirror. It helped. And what I think is preaching is to deny people their right to look at the naked truth. Naked bodies are not the main issue here. We're talking about what is wrong with our lives. Sexuality is nature. We can't escape nature as we can't escape gravity. But we learn to deal with it.

I don't know the answers to your problems. I know the answers to mine. And I thought I could help some of you. I also know there are some people who just swapped sex addictions for talking about it all day long on the Internet. And I think this is still an addiction. I don't want to be shackled by my struggle if it means I have to suffer.

More than anything : I will never let any pretentious preachy asshole tell me I should not do this or that because it's rationalization, because he knows better than anyone, because he can't stand the fact people can deal with their problems without doing it "hard mode", because everybody has to suffer a lot to get better, and if someone is not struggling as hard as you, then you want him to because you feel lonely in your struggle . I think it's wrong and sometimes, helping people is telling them they don't have to be in pain all day long to succeed. So, to "the king" and those who complained to the administrator like guestapo collaborators there was a guy who was insulting them by not thinking like them : FUCK YOU. Really

For the rest of you, wish you all the best !

P.S. Oh, also, I've been accused by a very classy gentleman ( who love to see his wife drown in his cum and who likes to think of himself as a king) not to be able to speak a good english. For I am a stinky french frog, my apologies for this, I just don't know any better. And now I have to buy my bread and my cigarettes or else I'm going to sing sad gay songs about how hard life can be sometimes.

Happy New Year. Be happy, I'll stay in touch with some of you that wrote me a private message, I'm glad I came here, there are some cool dudes.

 

lol You're nice WalshKid. We need laughter indeed. I've seen Joseph Gordon Levitt's DON JON yesterday and I had a good laugh. But you can laugh at other things than addiction. For instance:

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

See ya