My Top Triggers

I don't know why I didn't do this sooner, but today I went through the journal entries of all my relapses this year, and narrowed down my triggers to 8. They are listed from most to least common.


1. Boring Weekend
After a long and grueling week, there is nothing very fun or interesting to do, so I end up relapsing.

2. Broken Routine
I follow a very particular routine on a daily / weekly basis, and when that is somehow interrupted everything suddenly feels "off." So I relapse.

3. Home After Work
I use up all my willpower being a good employee, and come home with none left. I've remedied this by going to the gym after work. When I miss the gym I usually relapse.

4. Chaser Effect
Self explanatory. The urge to indulge in PMO after a relapse (usually an hour or so) is very strong.

5. Sudden Availability
This came up when I wasn't allowing my laptop in the house, and blocking all porn sites. When I found some loophole, or sudden availability I had to "jump at the chance."

6. Sudden Catastrophe
Something totally unforeseen and terrible happens. i.e. Last week my car got stuck in a puddle after a storm and the engine was ruined. Really came out of left field.

7. Last Chance
Being Catholic, I ALWAYS go to confession after a relapse. Sometimes I get the urge to do so right before confessing because I "cant' do it after."

8. Inverse Effect
Similar to the "pink elephant" problem. Working on reboot stuff leads to reboot. If I hadn't relapsed an hour ago, writing this post might be triggering.


Any of these familiar to you guys? What are some things you've done to counter them?

 

I've come to that conclusion too. I've done crazy things to keep availability minimal, and it still didn't work. I got a tiny padlock and put it on my laptop bag, and hid the key at my local library so I could only use my computer there. After long I realized if I want to PMO, I'll PMO.

The hard thing is, even knowing the triggers doesn't necessarily help. "Boring Weekend" can be fixed by ensuring I have fun activities to look forward too, but that's not always easy. "Sudden Catastrophe" basically means I have to camp out anywhere away from my house the rest of the day or I'll probably relapse. I guess if that's what it takes...

I've had to keep an eye on drinking too. Not that heavy of a drinker, but any bodily discomfort often leads to relapse. Like the last time when I ate spicy ramen for lunch and ended up feeling nauseous and relapsing.