I'm feeling so much better after I "relapsed" - Should I continue with "hardcore mode"

Nothing good will come from watching porn, thats why this forum and nofap in general is growing.

 

You probably became more relaxed after relapsing because you fed your addict brain, and your addict brain was freaking out. You have to push through the "I'm dying" feelings. While a sissy fetish might be part of your natural sexuality, it might be induced from some kind of trauma, if it wasn't porn-induced. You may well have to push through a period of increased preoccupation with your fetish when abstaining from porn and masturbation, but it should slowly fade over time to what it was before you started watching porn.

 

I would give it more than a few weeks; if you're truly addicted, then those negative symptoms are probably withdrawal, Try 30 days to start off like I did. And I'd say you wanted to introduce healthy MO, once a week should be plenty. Doing it constantly may be reinforcing the idea that you constantly need to think about sex; if your goal is to mitigate the effects of your fetish on your daily life, then less is more.

I'm no expert, though, this is just one man's opinion.

 

its hard one to answer for me. i would def drop the porn but you will have to transform all that sexual energy somehow. hve a passion , work out hard. I would try to meditation too. think people cant just stop havinfg orgasms and think everything will turn out fine , youll have a huge build up of energy or the opposite a shutting down from repressing your fantasies wich are fed by all that buildup. i dont know just wanted to send you a hug so u can find the strength to find the truth in yourself!

 

well said dude

 

This is a toughie, Burundi! Something tells me that Option #2 can't work. In my case, at least, I don't think that in the midst of PMO I could resisting sliding from vanilla to some more exotic flavor. Now, I know many guys will disagree with me, including many guys more successful at NoFap than I, but Option #1 might be worth trying. I'm doing "soft mode" -- no porn, but M&O are OK. This has been working well. I don't MO often, never really set out to do it, but if the subject arises, so to speak, I address it. Maybe 1-2X week. If you doit most nights, I dunno. I tend to think all of us should put less energy into P & O and more into pursuing relationships that satisfy us in more fulfilling ways. Good luck!

 

make sure to "grab" a hooker, they are easier and require less complicated techniques. Al though the downsize is you cannot be in relationships with them and the police might track you down. To go down the difficult path of the sensei you must be in a relationship with a girl and get to know her the hard way, and then, maybe after you get married you might have sex with her. lmao.

 

I edited your original post to only include the parts that really stood out to me. These quotes, things that you wrote should tell you everything you need to know about giving up porn. You’ve answered your own question. Over time porn will only drag you deeper.

If dressing up is part of your sexuality so be it. Just do yourself a favor and eliminate porn from your life.

 

Yup.

 

Although I am finding this extremely difficult I think the number one thing is to stop using Porn

As your finding hard mode very difficult (so am I) allow one O a week. But the crucial aspect is not to O thinking about all the P you've been watching as that achieves nothing.

After a while of once a week try and make it once every two weeks. Do some reading around Semen Retention and educate your self on the reasons WHY you want to practice nofap, WHY Porn is bad for you, WHY you want to reconnect with your self and get more connected to women.

Don't get me wrong what we are trying to do is DIFFICULT. I am struggling. But at least I know WHY I want to do it.

That's the best start I can give my self.

Here are some videos I think are worth a watch:

The first three give you a bit of psychological theory on the three types of men. He speaks about porn addiction. The last video... there are tons of such videos on the web but with these guys what they say I can actually relate too so I like'd it. In essence it speaks about why porn is to be avoided, why semen retention is good and limiting MO to once a week or once every two week.

 

In my opinion masturbation without porn is ok as long as it’s not creating problems in your life. It’s really no different than alcohol. There are those like myself who drink socially on occasion and are completely in control. Then there are alcoholics who cannot control their consumption and can never drink in order to remain in control. I personally am addicted to PMO therefore I’m choosing to abstain from it.


I don’t think it’s fair to say without question no one should masturbate.

 

To all the guys advocating for masturbation but no porn. I have been porn free for 7 months. I still have the negative affects and loss of super powers from masturbating. Masturbating does a lot to our bodies. Orgasm releases tons of chemicals. Most men masturbate too much, and once is never enough.

There are brain chemistry changes with dopamine and accumulation of Delta FosB.
"Masturbation is a socially acceptable release of impending sexual desire looking for physical release. It is a complex psycho-neuroendocrine process that starts in the brain and involves many neurotransmitters and hormones such as epinephrine, norepinephrine, prolactin, acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin working in unison. An orgasm is a very intense, physiological process.

Achieving an orgasm is one of the most pleasurable of feelings. For this reason, men frequently either pursue sexual encounters or masturbate in lieu of sexual activity. Excessive ejaculation over time can deplete the body of essential nutrients and vital body fluids, while increasing metabolite byproducts. Sexual exhaustion can result as precious energy is diverted to replenish body fluids. Those who masturbate frequently are at higher risk.

Hormone imbalance associated with chronic masturbation includes depletion of acetylcholine, dopamine, and cortisol. Thyroid hormones can become imbalanced, and liver function burdened from excessive metabolic workload. This immune system is compromised. Frequent orgasms can lead to sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous function imbalance, stressing the adrenals as they try to stabilize this imbalance by putting out more cortisol, the anti-stress hormone. Excessive cortisol output over time can lead to low cortisol levels and adrenal exhaustion.

The hormonal homeostatic feedback loop becomes deregulated over time, leading to the fight-or-flight alarm response activation. Epinephrine is a neurotransmitter required as part of the sympathetic nervous system stimulation during alarm response. Constant excessive epinephrine release flooding the body due to masturbation can lead to a state of sympathetic overtone, which is not healthy. The body in its best compensatory effort will try to down regulate all organ systems to conserve energy, resulting in loss of vitality, energy, and lethargy. In advanced cases the body is physically forced into incapacitation, and energy output is minimized. Sexual desire will diminish, leading to reduced libido in both male and female. Menses may become irregular and absent for prolong periods of time. This is the body’s way of saying enough is enough its time to rest. The body’s reproductive system is clearly important for survival of the human species, but our bodies were not designed to be simply reproductive machines"

 

Hi. As a person who really wants to help you I drop here an answer you won't like.
I see two possible options for you.

1) You decide, that you want to free yourself from this addiction, you will go hard-mode, find yourself a girlfriend you will really care about and then you will start a family and live happily ever after.

2) You'll try to find excuses to fap, come up with new rules and systems that should "help you to control your addiction". They will always fail, as your addicted brain will be teased over and over again and you'll never get rid of it. You set on some reasonably looking regime - like masturbate twice a week with no P. You wll keep it for two weeks and then relapse. After every success will follow very deep fall. Maybe you will go through some relationships. It will be good for a while, but you'll feel sexually unsatisfied and your every relationship will slowly fall apart. In the end you maybe get married and stuck up in unsatisfying relationship and escape from it through PMO or maybe hookers.

I am sorry for being rough, but its true. You said, you are "mildly addicted to porn". So if masturbation is not your addiction you can easily go 90 days without it right? Because why not. I like nachos, but i can go 90 days without eating them.
You said PMO help you to relieve stress. Right. As an addiction it produces stress and afterward you can relieve the stress that was made by it. Its really nothing else. People feel stressed and tensed because of this addiction, not by lack of it. It's like wearing small shoes to feel relieved after taking them of. Or more accurate metaphor stab yourself to feel relieved... ehm... for not dying? I don't know. PMO addiction is exactly as meaningful as this.

BTW. I used to be a sissy too. Since i was 8 y.o., maybe? I was the sissiest sissy around. I was sure its the way i am. Really. I thougt maybe I am a transgender and maybe everything will be better if i were woman. I need something get better because i messed up my life so bad with this addiction. As you may suspect it turns out i am not TG and no i really was not born with this fetish. I just almost ruined a bigger part of my life with it.

I dont want to force you to do anything. Or judge you. There are two ways from this addiction:

1) The easy one, when you quit it once for good. You find yourself some meaningful aim you pursuit, keep for few hard weeks and free yourself.
2) Looking for easy paths like vanilla porn or Ming only few times a week. So you try top deny your addiction a become more and more obsessed the less you PMO. And more you get obsessed the deeper you get in addiction and it turns out its a downward spiral. And if you quit by this method, you're freaking buddhist monk, because this method make it not easier, but harder.

The choice is yours. Maybe I am wrong, but i seriously dont know a single person who control your addiction and do it with moderation and live a satisfying (not only) sexual life and be happy. If you know one, ask him for recommendation.

And one final thought. This addiction is like a prison. But unlike prison PMO is not here to make you a better person. Its here to make you worse. Learn from other inmates all the worst criminal techniques. Its like really, really bad prison somewhere deep in Siberia. You can't simply leave and chill on a parking lot in front of prison, because sooner or later you'll fall back there. You have to start a new life. Focus on work, relationships, dating, hobbies whatever. Just dont sit around crying for your precious PMO habit.
Do you really want to quit just to visit your criminal buddies there every night before going to bed?

Again. Sorry for being rough, but i like you dude and want you to be happy.
Good luck on your journey.

 

OH boy. I had exactly the same problems like you. Why should Istop mastrubation when I feel depressed and bad? The problem is you need to tear out the seed of all of that with stop mastrubation and watching porn COMPLETELY. If not you just fight the excesses of your addiction. This isn't a solution. You just loose your energy for nothing. Ofc it's possible your sissy Fetish is a completely normal part of your identity. I don't want to judge here. For me it was just the sad end of a addiction story. Your sex life is a Desaster? You don't get a Gf? Chances are good your addiction is the main problem for it.

 

Hey man, welcome to being a human man. Everything you described is what we all go through. We all have different "triggers" or fetishes based on whatever was happening around puberty. Porn is designed to get you addicted by pushing you further and further. We tend to judge others to make ourselves feel better about our secret fetishes.

I personally believe that masturbation is a great part of being human and a man.
The problem is our thinking. Our thoughts actually mold and shape our brain and how it works.

The biggest problem I believe, is that we don't remain "in the moment" when we jackoff--or even sex. We are so busy fantasizing that we aren't even enjoying what is going on. We are in some other place and time, imagining crazy scenarios and people, instead of just enjoying the moment, hand and cock sensations, the visual of what is actually happening.

My question to everyone is:
1. what if we used masturbation as an exercise in self control...meaning: hold our thoughts captive, train our mind to be "in the moment." I think the result would be a stronger, more aware, more centered man and lover for your wife (now or in the future).
2. what if we looked at jacking off for what it is, a way to release the urge to look at porn BEFORE we start surfing.
3. what if masturbation is a blessing not the curse? A training exercise to make us better Christian husbands...with more self control?

 

Hi. My recommendation is to read this threat again thoroughtly. I believe all answers to your questions are just here.
So im going to reply to your question with a question - and im sorry it will be rude one.
Are you really looking for the best posible solution, or do you just try to rationalize your masturbational habit because you're too scared to quit it?

 

What he said. I've felt better after relapsing, but when I continued I slowly started to feel worse and worse. You'll regret it eventually. One time it took me a solid week to even feel normal. I was depressed as fuck and I don't think it was a coincidence that I felt depressed when not fapping. If you keep going with it you will eventually realize just how amazing NoFap really is. It has made me a different person, but then I'll relapse or start doing drugs again and fuck everything up.