Day 9 and I really need to fight the urge hard right now

Hello everybody,
First off, thanks to such a wonderful forum as this one. To be honest, I quite accidentally stumbled upon the site only weeks ago, which led me to read up on YBOP and the neuroplasticity reserch which in turn led me to believe I might very well have a P addiction, because up until 10 days ago I have been doing it on average twice a day every single day for decades, I kid you not. Long story short, I have been doing hard mode. That is until last night, because I was chatting casually (without any triggers) to someone I had met online. She does not know anything about PMO and my current journey, so inevitably after she sends me just ONE innocent voice message the urge is back and I have been fighting the hardest battle yet. I absolutely want to keep going because I have already noticed increased interest in my socializing, I seem to smile more, people smile back at me and I generally feel really good. I also thought that this new pattern of life is easy to do for me. Boy was I ever wrong.

So here is what I did this morning, after not getting much sleep, a massive hard on every time Iwoke up: did push ups, then took a cold shower, I am now having breakfast, and I am cautiously optimistic about my day today, because I will be busy, BUT what should I do to survive tonight? My brain wants me to go back to my old pattern. Can you guys help me out, please?

 

Hey thanks GhostWriter
I dropped the ball earlier today though, and hate myself for it. I just wanted to shut down my computer but did one last round of checking emails, etc, and the urge became too strong. I don't know what triggered it, but I browsed some forum and streamed to or three clips. Bummer, so I am now resetting my counter, and will try to heed the advice. I know I need more structure, cause as soon as there is some slack in my daily routine, the beast inside my head sees a window of opportunity opening up and voila, back to square one. I am not about to give up, though. Godspeed!

 

Installed Quostodio, great advice, let's see how effectively the software actually filters out the bad stuff

 

Hi everyone
Just checking in to let you all know how things are going. I guess considering my long history of PMO I have reason to feel cautiously optimistic. The one thing I have noticed so far after my first (and hopefully last) relapse was that I did not look at P again at all, and surpricingly did not even have to fight that hard to abstain. Now, P-sub took over (I think) because I have established a chat relationship with someone back home. I am currently traveling for a year and really do feel grateful to have someone to chat with, and by that I mean purely no-trigger chatting: the weather, travel reports and other such subjects. I am on my 21st day of successfully abstaining from MO, which was hard for the first seven days or so, then relapsed due to a stupid move, but have not had any triggering material on my mind at all for the last 12 or so days. So here's my question to you all reading this far: Is chatting online with someone I met online considered a relapse or is it actually beneficial, like a precursor to meeting someone irl? Cheers everyone and good luck to all of us who grabbed this beast by the tail and trying to get the upper hand.

 

Hey, I know what you are going through, gotta steer a straight course with an iron fist (not death grip, obviously). That's why us members here we all need to support each other in order to stay strong. Keep going, man, we can do this.