Its all hopeless

Hi thedaiem!

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling but congratulations on your 86 day streak. I will be very proud of myself the day I can successfully and truthfully say that I've abstained for 86 days.

In order for you to get back on the horse, it is crucial that you ingrave into your brain exactly why you're doing nofap. There can be several reasons for this but the most common ones I find would be:

- PIED/DE/PE
- Social anxiety
- Little/no "drive" for life
- Acne/slower muscles gains/other lack of physical attributes

Keep on trucking man! We're all in this together.

 

1- Gym membership
2- Charity work
3- Meditation
4- Vegan diet for three months

 

Sorry to hear that buddy. What is it about your friends? The happiness advantage is a great book on happiness and also has tips on how to deal with FB, vine and such distractions.

 

Hey man,

Believe it or not it's better that you are aware of your situation because that's the first step.

Don't worry man, it sucks to be in that phase like many of us have been. Trust me I've felt hopeless and disconnected from reality. But its just a phase to make you realize this isn't a game and there's some hard work involved.

I'll copy here what I've recommended a fellow fapstronaut. Please do what I suggest (everything) before considering you're hopeless.

Hey man,

great that you realized your first bottleneck quickly and searched for help.

Any endeavor without a plan is aimed to failure. If I were to start all over again, this is how I would do it. My "official" plan:

1. Envision your future and plan how you're going to get there. This post and this post. Write it down with dates, specific quantities... everything.
2. Find a good accountability partner and share your progress on a spreadsheet like mine (feel free to copy it, as I copied it).
3. Adopt at least a new, keystone positive habit that will make you advance toward your goal. E.g. exercising, socializing, playing a social sport, meeting girls (you choose). A habit that makes other changes much easier.
4. Change your bad habits.
5. Track your habits.
6. Improve self-discipline. Extremely important.
7. Start a journal and write valuable insights, suggestions, and progress. Every Single Day.

Those are things not to choose one of them and see if it works. Do ALL of them because the overall idea is to gain awareness, to see yourself as from outside in order to control yourself. That is what intelligence is all about.

Many of us are doing them. 90 days ago I had no idea of most of those insights.

I know this can be a lot if you're not used to it, but are you determined to change this or just somewhat interested?

Keep in mind that all that may seem like a lot, but once you're used to it, it's really not, plus it sets the ground for true positive continuous improvement for a lifetime.

You may think, very reasonably: "wait a minute man, I just want not to PMO, I don't need to start exercising or whatever."

Well, if you listen to anyone who's recovering, you'll see a pattern over and over again. Recovery is NOT just NoFap. Recovery is replacing PMO with something positive, whether it's a loving relationship, a career improvement, socializing, etc. Anything that makes you take your life to the next level.

Read this famous post if you still have doubts.

I encourage you to take this solid planned approach. Don't hesitate to let me know if you have any obstacles.

Let's do this!

 

Were they just kidding and you were very sensitive or did they truly mock you?

A few years ago I was very sensitive to people not understanding of me.

People try to slightly counter any value that goes against what they believe, because it's an attack against their self-esteem (ie if this guy's right, then I'm wrong).

But if you presented your reality from the heart and they're just stupid, find new friends, man. Not just split with your friends or get angry. Just cut them off and find new ones because you still need friends.

Don't hesitate to come here in the meantime

 

thedaiem
I think you're using the friends as an excuse.
You would not be in nofap if you do not believe PMO is a problem.
Your friends are not forcing you to PMO either.
You gotta take responsibility for your actions because you could split with the friends and then just find something else as an excuse.

 

I have thesame friends. Like someone else said, you're probably using them as an excuse. I think everyone around here has friends or family that think this nofap thing is BS. But you're that one who has your fate in your own hand (lol). You don't have to make those sex jokes either like they do. It's just this world we live in that everything is geared towards sex. Adverts, TV shows, everything. The only thing you can do is to accept it and kind of ignore it, IMO. And even if you do make sex jokes, you can choose to not identify with the joke and just let it be, if you think it's funny why not make the joke. It won't make you watch at porn. If you don't want to make those jokes, don't make them but don't expect your friends to not make them either. It's like when walking down the street and you see a triggering advert. Ofcourse, you don't pay much attention to it and go on with your day. You should do thesame with those jokes.

 

Learn to change your mindset from perfectionism to progressionism.

You fapped once, and you think you life's fucked up because this one relapse. Not the truth. Far from it. what FUCKS YOU UP IS THE MINDSET YOU"VE BEEN HOLDING. Now you look forward, and forget about the dead past. Pick up your feet and DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE, whether you feel like it or not!

Stay strong and keep clean. Best of the luck.