50 days reached - heading only forward

Hello, my fellow fapstronauts! This was a really interesting time for me, I have experienced so many things between my last report on the 30-day streak, physically and mentally. For those who are interested mostly on gainzzzz to motivate themselves, I will start with it.
Pros:
*I feel calm, I am not afraid of talking with people (but there is one thing, but I will discuss it below)
*I am stronger, my muscle mass has improved, although I don't have time to eat often or visit gym often, a few days ago I was doing overhead press with 25 kg, struggling, then like, BOOM, 40kgs 8th times with no problem, other exercises were also booming
*I notice women looking at me more often(depends on the day, one day often, other a bit less), I talk with them more often finally, some start writing me out of nowhere, but ...not that type I would like
*I feel maybe more aggressive if something annoys me, but I manage to suppress it.
*I talk with people more, people notice me more often, I kinda start feeling more famous around the university
*Urges come and go, but I can manage them, sometimes I want to open that P tab, but I am able to control myself, but the thing is, that I don't want porn anymore, I want relationships really really really badly, I want woman attention, I just want to meet a girl just to wrap my hands around her and make her feel loved and get it back, so porn is not interesting to me anymore, but there is one downside, which I will discuss below
*I agree to do anything that people offer me, like going to the club, going on a trip etc
*I have no problem like writing to a girl when there is a need, I don't feel shy when I can help out with studying.
*I start feeling that I am worth something, that I am not out of many girls league, I feel like I can have a chance with them, but not with all of them...
*I feel more beautiful
*My skin has improved, a lot less acne, but the only fast food makes it worse (Yeah, I was visiting McDonald's pretty often past 2 days,soo, there is the result )
*I enjoy cold showers, they give INSANE energy boost for the day, sometimes I go to cold shower 4-5 times a day, I suggest this for students like me, who are reading this, if you can't focus on your work/homework, go to the shower, you will feel so energized, you will accomplish so much, you will be able to focus better, this actually works!
*Music sounds better, I just want to sing and dance to it, today I took my car and went for a ride around town, music to full, damn, I was singing my heart out
*Sometimes I feel so positive and happy like a child who shat his pants, that I don't know what happened to me
*I smile more often, when I smile, people talk to me more, because, of course, who wants to talk with a serious person anyways '
*My Johnny doesn't ask for sex, HE SCREAMS FOR IT , but he doesn't want porn
*I feel that I have succeeded something in life, I got in university, very difficult program, which requires a lot of knowledge and determination, that means, that I am actually capable of something
*I live for myself
CONS:
*In lectures I lose focus on the topic, by looking and scanning ladies around me, appreciating how beautiful they actually are, but still, you lose focus on the task
*Sometimes I look too desperate to hook up with a girl, It has happened, but not in the way I would like to
*Sex, when you can't have it, your urges grow, but it is easy for me to suppress them, but still, It bothers me
*Tinder...I can't stop looking at girls there who look hot AF
*I started to smoke more often at some point in 25-45 days in the streak, but right now I managed to limit myself to it.
*Stress of my programme messes a bit of my improvements, I don't need to explain how stress affects you, but yeah...

So if you got so far, there is that thing like tinder and need for a girl.
Lately I was in the club,there were huge discounts on absinthe, then a few vodka shots, but when my friends wanted to go to other clubs, I was feeling very good, but somehow I blacked out (I don't use drugs in any kind), I like "Wake up"dancing with a girl in the club, later a slow dance, she wraps her hands around me and hugs, we dance slowly and all goes kinda nice, but later I fk it up by starting feeling wasted, out of nowhere, when I went to toilet, false alarm, come back, she is not there, I am not surprised, who would like to hang out with a wasted person and I kind find her, because my wasted brain forgot her face and name, I managed to be caught by my crush (right now she doesn't even greet me anymore ) For a whole week I was searching for that girl, any info, I just want to look her in the eyes 1:1 ( no texting, so banal ) and I want to apologize for being drunk, probably too intrusive, but I didn't show myself in the best light for sure, I just feel in love, I can't stop thinking about her... My mind is all the time stuck on her, I just don't want to also meet her in the halls of uni without greeting, it would be sooooo Ahole move...

Tinder, I just can't stop looking in tinder, I don't swipe to right, I see I have many possible matches, because it shows 25+ (maximum displayable amount of girls who matched, I don't have premium), but I don't want to swipe to have match, I don't want to text, I want to meet in real life and talk, I don't like texting, I kinda feel too shy/scared to write just randomly-what I will talk about etc...Idk

So thats it for now, I will probably make an update on day 60 or a bit later, depends on ammount of improvements
If improvemts are more then
I will make post
else
I will wait
Thanks for reading

 

I would really like to approach her, but the problem is, that I was too drunk to remember her face, but I am 100% sure, that she was hella beautiful. I stopped smoking right now, but I am seriously considering starting waking up at 4am and adding meditation to my routine.

 

This is my target, to improve myself first, but only then start to chase the ladies, but the problem is, you just can't not chase them

 

I am not stopping in improving myself, but I just want to meet that girl and get to know her better, but you are right, I should focus on fixing my brain first from this addiction. Thanks mate!

 

Drunk you gets what he wants, not what you want

 

Thanks for support!