I'm feeling so much better after I "relapsed" - Should I continue with "hardcore mode"

not at all man, that's a good question. I haven't jacked off in over 4 weeks. It quit becoming a habitual problem when I accepted it for what it is and used it to stay away from lust instead of feeding my lust. when I spent my life in shame about it (I'm 43), I couldn't help but focus on it. I would tell myself, a million times a day "don't masturbate, don't masturbate...don't look at porn..." So, guess what I was thinking about all day?...masturbating to porn. I think that is the enemy's tactic. He will do anything to distract us from thinking about God. Shame is his biggest weapon.

What's even worse, I felt that if I did good and abstained for a while, I had achieved, or was worthy of, God's grace--that is the worst kind of "Christian." That is legalism and leads to being a judgmental hypocrite. Fact is: I am not worthy and neither are you. Self control begins in the mind...learning to think on God, strengthen the spirit and the flesh will follow....not the other way around. When I began to think on things that are "pure, just and of good report," the Spirit began to fight my battles--not me.

believe it or not, God created our dicks. He didn't turn around one day to find that satan had snuck in and fashioned a penis on His creation (that analogy is taken from Matt Chandler). He meant for us to have it...and it is an enjoyable part of being a man. I have come to believe, the purpose and correct use of masturbation is what has not been taught. Guess why that is...shame. Yes, it can become an idol, just like anything else. So no, I don't have a problem with masturbation - doing it or not doing it. It doesn't get in the way of sex with my wife and it doesn't lead me to porn when I enjoy it for what it is and suppose to be. It actually makes me a better husband and lover for her...and a better Child of God. I depend on God's grace and I can focus on His mercy...not me.

Jesus didn't come to condemn the world. He came to save it.

 

@st831
Okay what you said make sense. But still I disagree. Maybe i judged the idea too quickly, but im still pretty sure its not a good strategy. It's not a win. You just sacrifice half of your men to save the others - but its a draw at best not a victory.

Yeah, you described the mechanism very well. Thats how it works. But to give up is not a solution. Here is one thing that i found useful - don't try to fight those urges, observe them. If you do, you dont have to use your willpower. You just change the whole perspective. Willpower works like this:
P: Oh man I'm really tensed - really need to check some P to chill
- NO I can't. I have to fight it and work harder!
P: Come on, you can't focus like that. Just a quickie at bathroom.
- No, please dont do it to me.
P: Just five minutes and you'll be refreshed and satisfied
- *sobbing*

But when you observe it a little it may be like this
P: Oh man I'm really tensed - really need to check some P to chill
- Mmm, i noticed i have some urges right now.
P: Yes, you have. You want to watch some nice P
- Where that voice come from? What i feel right now? It feels like a stone in stomach
P: Dude focus, we wanted to fap
- Why this happened to me? Is it because that fashion magazine i just saw? Do i want to fall to that trap again? No way.
P: Hello!
- mmm, it seems to fade away, just one more deep breath and im ready to continue living my life.

It may sounds silly, but it really works well for me.

So you suggest to knowingly sin in order to stay humble? It kinda sounds like a blasphemy, isn't it? What about live and modest and honest life, be aware of our weaknesses and mistakes and try to get better?

Yes, he did. He created our dicks and gave the pleasure from sex in order to establish relationships and spread love. Everything what devil does is just abusing all the good stuff that God gave us. God gave us food, Devil gave us gluttony. God gave us love and sex - devil gave us porn and masturbation.
In some languages the exact meaning of the word "sin" is "to miss the purpose". And thats exactly what fapping is. Missing the purpose for which God gave us dicks.

 

I have tried your method. observing learning, focusing on my flesh...and I would do great for months and then I would fall deeper than I ever had; because at some point...your flesh becomes stronger than your spirit.

Sorry, guy, but you can't give me any scripture to prove that masturbation being sin. Lust, yes. Masturbation, no. So, I am NOT saying to "Sin willfully to stay humble." Now I think you are just trying to argue.

See, look at you scenario and mine. I'm saying focus on God, think about the things of God, ministry and others. You are saying to focus on your body and having rational conversations with your flesh. If I am focusing on God and have to pee... I go to the bathroom. What I am suggesting is the same thing. My way seems to line up with scripture, bring me closer to God, not lust over images, and make me thankful for who God made me. Your way seems to make you prideful, argumentative and pious. If this is really something you want to talk about, message me. There is no reason to keep this going on this poor guys' thread.

If your masturbation habit makes you feel guilty and sinful...my only suggestion was that maybe you were doing it wrong.

 

Alright. People used to kill in name of God, why i wonder they fap in his name now?

The reason I argue with you is that "this poor guy" which threat we spam now struggle with an addiction, try to free yourself, but his addicted brain is looking for any excuse to relapse. And then you came and give him one perfect reason to fap. You just basically came to an anonymous alcoholic meeting and give everyone there a can of beer, because its better than vodka and God want us to drink (because he gave us alcohol, right?)

I just try to help others to overcome this addiction. And then you came and claim its fine as long as you do it in moderation and in name of God. Dont worry your idea wont be forgotten. It's like the first thing that pop up in addicts mind. You just spiced it up with a sprink of blasphemy. Fabulous.

You can't just say you focus on God and then do whatever your flesh wants to. Its not working like this. Yeah im sure i can't prove you masturbation is a sin, so neither Bible can as you decided it's okay. So I just add some sources in case you overlooked them: 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 1 Peter 2:11, James 1:14-15, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, Galatians 5:19-21, James 1:13-14 (this is a good one), James 1:13-14, 2 Timothy 1:7 and many many more.

Maybe you stare at God so hard you just overelooked devil who whispers to your ear...

Anyway wank you dick off if your idols are okay with that. Just stop offering drugs to addicts.

Howgh

 

@Foxhole I will not be blasphemous or erroneous as you were in restating my view. Let me define terms:

-lust - to desire something or someone forbidden (lust)
-penis - something all men have
-wet dreams - what happens when you don't jack off. So it is going to happen one way or another.
-masturbation - jacking off
>Not one scripture addresses this issue, though it literally is a natural universal practice of all healthy males. However, it does address issues when sexual practices include other individuals--whether it is in thought or deed.

I simply said that masturbation can be done without lust. Yes, (like everything) it can be overdone, but so can eating. The solution is not to starve yourself, which leads to binge-eating or death. The solution it to train your mind to change how you eat or use food.

If God told you to abstain, by all means, do it without a doubt--but that was not what we were talking about. Also keep in mind though, I just read a post yesterday, where a guy said God's voice told him to go look at porn in the middle of the night. How do we know that was wrong? because we have scripture and Jesus very own words to know that lusting over a woman is wrong.

Now let's look at your references, because the Bible also says to rightly divide the word of truth - and they prove my point--not yours:
1 Corinthians 6:18 - is literally talking about sleeping with a prostitute.
1 Corinthians 10:13 - uses the example in Numbers when the jewish men committed whoredom with the Moabite women
1 Peter 2:11 - uses the greek word means to "lust after someone/thing forbidden."
James 1:14-15 - You listed this 3 times. It is referring to the same greek word as above. But it also proves the point because it says when one is tempted by their own lust (impure thoughts, lusting after someone forbidden)... then that will LEAD to SIN.
Thessalonians 4:3-5 - is talking about fleeing fornification. definition:

1. illicit sexual intercourse
   1. adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
   2. sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
   3. sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,12
2. metaph. the worship of idols
   1. of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols

Galatians 5:19-21 - same words used above.
2 Timothy 1:7 - this was actually my point. having control over your thought life.

Now, back to my point...keep your thought life pure, and obey scripture.