So....Angry/Sad/Frustrated

Indeedly...

 

Hello @melancholyweightlifter. I'm adriatik28 and I've see you around the forums, just like crossing paths on a street. I remember how you stand for your what you believe in and your resolve in winning over this struggle.

I relate with what you're going through - angry, sad, and frustrated. I have felt the same way since late December up until the first week of January. I snap at the smallest of things, then find myself just curled up in bed depressed and feeling like a worthless piece of shit.

I've been suffering from loneliness too. The thing is, I'm used to being and doing stuff alone but I guess it caught up with me.

I have friends but the thing is we don't get to meet as often as we did. They have their own lives. They're living in different parts of the country and the world. Conflicts in schedules have prevented and limited us. I'm lucky if I get to meet them at least once or twice a year, to be honest. Bumping into them would be a bonus.

I wanted to talk about my issues, but instead I withdraw myself. Even from my own family. I became an asshole during the holiday season, even when they were reaching out. I clammed up and kept silent instead. I guess it's my way of "protecting them" from the skeletons I have. Still scared of how they'll react.

I wanna talk about my issues but having no one to talk to just makes it more frustrating. I wanna explode.

Then the triggers and cravings. Going the easy way out for instant rush and relief (which led to a number of relapses and chasers during the 1st week of the year).

I know how it feels having that cloud of gloom and sadness over you. To be honest, I've had thoughts of ending it all. Having that voice at the back of your head that you can't accomplish anything. That you'll never go far. I still "hear" that voice - and I despise it when it speaks.

Right now, I feel as if there's nothing going on in my life. Uncertainty about the future - job security, finances, life in general.

This isn't the "I have it better or worse than you" story. The point of me sharing this is to tell you that you're not alone. What you're feeling is valid and what you're going through is real and scary. Choose not to listen to that voice in the back of your head that you can't do it, that you will not prosper. Instead, go against it. Do what you do best and what you think is best. Go out, even if you're alone. Take some time off to recharge yourself. It's the first month of the year and it's never too late to write down your plans and goals.

The new year gives all of us hope that everything will change for the better. Unfortunately, it also brings back regrets and uncertainties. I think that's what happened (and in a way still happening) to me, and in this case, what's going on with you. Hold on to that hope - even if it's just a thread.

Not a lot of us recognize the effort it takes to go through every day with a struggle. Choose to move forward and take that first step.

If you get to this part, thanks for reading. I pray that you'll get over this sooner than you think. You'll never imagine how much I relate to what you've shared in this thread. Send me a message if you want.

 

MelancholyWeightlifter
I bet your feeling better today than when you started this thread, am I right? Well, yesterday, women all over the world were menstrating because of the new moon. Now that you (and I) retain our fluids, we are now in sync with the moon and womens menstral cycles.

Start keeping a moon table, youll soon find you feel good, energized, excited, horny around the full moon and weak, tired, depressed around the new moon.

Glad I could help! Appreciate all your contributions.