1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

I’m in such a dark place, feeling so empty.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fallensoldier1, Oct 29, 2018.

  1. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    1,092
    2,119
    143
    Keep fighting. Listen to some Pac.
     
  2. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    2pac???
     
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  3. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    1,092
    2,119
    143
    Yeah. Especially "Me against the world"
     
  4. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    Hmmm ok I will check that out
     
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  5. Walk_it_out

    Walk_it_out Fapstronaut

    86
    310
    53
    Keep pressing forward my brotha.. God will give u the victory man..keep leaning into Him..put some worship music on and focus on Him bro...my heart goes out to you. It makes me cry..I been praying for you since I read your post. I been reading nofap success stories for a while now to gain some encouragement but I havent made an account until now. Reading your post made me decide to finally sign up to nofap so thank you. I just want to see God work in your life man. In your marriage. With your kids. I have struggled tons too with the whole lust thing. I hate it but my body loves it...like Romans 7. My heart feels the pain for you and your wife..it matters to me even though I don't know you..you are my brother. God loves you bro and so do I. I promise..hang in there..even if you slip.. just get back up.. a proverb says, a righteous man falls seven times yet rises again..you need to cry. Let it come .Don't hold it down..it's why you keep going for the porn comfort. Me too. Let this process happen, even though it hurts like hell at times. Much love bro
     
  6. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    Man. Thank you for the encouragement. I’m glad You made a account here. Thank you so much for the prayers. I keep thinking maybe the lord is letting me go through this trial to make me realize I need to get more serious about quitting pmo. I would only make it a couple weeks or so while we were still together. But even when we were still together our sex life was so bad so that kept me relapsing I feel like. It’s not a good reason or excuse. But it made it hard. I’m trying to hang on, but it’s so very difficult. Thank you again for the prayers and welcome to the forum.
     
  7. Walk_it_out

    Walk_it_out Fapstronaut

    86
    310
    53
    Ya it's hard to understand sometimes why we go through certain things but I know God wants your marriage to thrive. Let's just keep seekin Him and askin Him to change us from the inside out. Thanks for your welcome I really appreciate it
     
  8. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    Exactly. I have surrenderd my marriage to him. I should have done that along time ago. I have asked him when I should reach out to her, what should I say, what shouldn’t I say, and so on. I know she needs to surrender to him as well and ask what she should do. And untill she does that, I do feel like I don’t think he will help.. I keep praying for him to change our hearts and minds according to his will.
     
    Walk_it_out likes this.
  9. Walk_it_out

    Walk_it_out Fapstronaut

    86
    310
    53
    Amen..you may have to surrender anew each day at times but your learning more and more. That's so good..ya just be patient with her and don't push too hard..sounds like you are already using good wisdom..I ask God to continue to give you wisdom to know what to do and not do..He really wants to help that for sure brotha
     
    Fallensoldier1 likes this.
  10. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    Yes. Yes. Yes. I feel everyday I have to re surrender and ask him in the situation. Ask him what I should do/say.

    Also I have to be honest and say I am very very tempted to pursue female attention. I have to keep praying that I deny myself what the world offers so I can accept what the lord will offer me. But Like i mentioned before in my marriage I was lonely and attention was lacking, especially sexually. I was Denied so many times. Trying to touch her and her say “what are you doing”? And be pushed away.

    We were both pushing each other away, I was pushing her away mentally and emotionally because I was being pushed away physically. It was a vicious cycle. That’s why I kept just saying I would take care of myself with PMO.
     
  11. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

    247
    206
    43
    Watch these videos man and convince yourself if you don't stop this habit you will never be happy.




    Go watch all the videos on his channel
     
  12. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    Thank you man I will check these out now.
     
  13. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93


    Just wanted to share this song. It got me through some tough times tonight just vibing out to it.
     
    0111zerozero11 likes this.
  14. Walk_it_out

    Walk_it_out Fapstronaut

    86
    310
    53
    Ya bro I hear you.. I want the female attention too..the pull is so strong sometimes..it feels nearly impossible at times..but it's not impossible.look we already are staying away. Stay busy on other things as much u can. Sitting idle makes it difficult for me. I know it's hard bro I'm in the same boat. I'm only just over two weeks clean from PMO this run. I'm new also. We got this bro. Even if we slip it's not over
     
    Fallensoldier1 and Javi5891 like this.
  15. Javi5891

    Javi5891 Fapstronaut

    16
    22
    3
    I've walked in your footsteps and I feel your pain in loneliness and darkness. That's my fight now. I was separated for three months when she was with someone else and we eventually divorced. It'll be 5 years Nov. 18. We share 3 kids that I see every other weekend and at school functions. I've tried dating and I just couldn't get myself to commit because it was easier to retreat to my dark room and just escape everything through porn and masterbation. I also long for that special connection, but for now I want to get through this. I want to heal and be able to give myself completely to someone eventually. Stay strong my friend you'r not alone.....
     
    Fallensoldier1 and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  16. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    Dangit man I’m sorry to hear that. I will keep you in prayer as well. I hope the best for you. I don’t know what the answer is for us to do, but I do know that PMO is not the solution!
     
    Javi5891 likes this.
  17. Javi5891

    Javi5891 Fapstronaut

    16
    22
    3
    Thank you, and yes this is not the answer. I caused her a lot of hurt and pain with my addictions and the guilt was unbearable. I still struggle with it to this day, but I'm done running. I want to break these cycles because I don't want them to affect my children.
     
    Fallensoldier1 likes this.
  18. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

    769
    778
    93
    I couldn’t agree more. If we continue down this road it will affect the relationship we have with our children as well.
     
    Javi5891 likes this.
  19. Javi5891

    Javi5891 Fapstronaut

    16
    22
    3
    I'm glad I took the leap and joined the group. I stand to fight with all of you!
     
    Walk_it_out likes this.
  20. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

    2,428
    1,586
    143
    Meditation can help. There are some good apps like headspace, calm and insight timer. Exercising also helps greatly. Try to stay busy if you can. You are allowing your mind to work against you with the negative thinking. The mind can easily convince you that pmo is the only way out to release this tension. This hard times are temporary. This will pass and so will good times. This is how life is.
     
    im_broken and Fallensoldier1 like this.

Share This Page