I’m in such a dark place, feeling so empty.

So How are you doing so far?

 

31 Days is really great!
Don't loose your hope for the end of the tunnel. I cant empathize with the burdend you're carriyng but things are always getting better, that's what I believe.

Also here is something I'd like to share with you:

When I first moved out I felt lonely af, was struggling with P and lack of contact to females and it all made me feel like I was turning into another person that i diddnt want to be. I was so scared that my life would have made something ugly and pathetic out of me.
But I got back. Just the way I was, maybe better, the lonelieness passed just as the weird parts that had taken place in my personality did. So not oughta think that your state of beeing right now is something permanent. Cause it's not.

You will be back and things will be bright and good !

 

Hang in there bro, I to this day ride that roller coaster. Triggers and memories spark guilt and agitation. What I can tell you is that with time, it will get better. It may be cliche but it will. Like I mentioned I feel the loneliness but I can say that I can bear it now a lot better than I did yesterday. All I can say is hang on and don't give up on you no matter how hard it gets....

 

She ended up leaving and the hard part was me filling for divorce and filling child support on myself. A counselor once told me, you're here to work on yourself not your marriage. I realized that all the things I needed to change I needed to do for me. In turn those helped me have a better relationship with my kids. It wasn't easy, for about four and a half years it was always bickering and arguing with my ex wife over the most minute things. We couldn't see each other in person. Now almost five years we've come to realize that we're only hurting the kids. We have a better relationship now and it took almost five years to get here. I'm telling you reboot yourself for you and the rest will fall into place. I feel for you man, I was in your shoes five years ago. I hit rock bottom numbing myself with alcohol, drugs, meaningless sex, and porn. I thought it would never end. Things will work out for the better good in the end regardless of the outcome. Your not alone. Believe my words, hang on and stay strong.....

 

you can overcome anything . . .

Believe . . .

 

And that's great man, but don't think that your having to wait for her decision on what's going to happen with you guys, you're just torturing yourself. Try your best to focus on rebuilding yourself. I know it's hard, you feel like the days drag that time is moving so slow. It was the strongest storm I've ever gone through and I was deployed to Afghanistan. I hope the best for you and your family brother. Stay strong and carry on.

 

Brother, how long have you been running deep into the dark place? And how long have you tried to get out ? Like the progress you make is big and important but it is really accatable to not notice the big time change you hope for within the first two months... Give it some time, hang in there, be persistant and you will see how things change.

The whole marriage thing is tough though. I am thinking of you brother!
I believe, if you are honest infront of God, you will be restored and made new. I try to not stick to my expactations and ideas too much but to know, that he can just make good things out of everything. So it's like a mixture of letting him do the work and looking out for your part AND doing your part.

Does that make sence to you?

 

I'll be honest I was unfaithful, and gave her every excuse to leave and she did. For a long time the guilt crushed my soul because I had thrown everything away over a night of pleasure. I begged her for years and pleaded for forgiveness but I was pleading to the wrong person. I'm not a practicing Christian but I do believe in a higher power. After gradually letting go of the guilt and just working on myself like Blacky's said it just took time. I'm not saying for you to walk away, I never did. I feel because I didn't I left the door open for us to have a better co parenting relationship for our kids. Iwill always love her because she was my wife and mother of my children. You have to trust in Him, leave all your worries in Him and try to focus on you try to defeat this porn monster. Make yourself a new and I'm sure everything will fall into place. I'm glad that this happen the way it did with me because I'm a better man today than I ever was yesterday. My marriage fell apart after we experienced a miscarriage. She seeked solace talking with other men and it wasn't till I saw the writing on the wall that I was honest with her about my mistake. I knew the outcome of my confession and I bared the consequences. But my unraveling was a blessing slowly for five years I've been rebuilding brick by brick. Porn is one of the last things I'm dealing with.

 

IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT!

Be patient, and take each day as it comes. Go to meetup groups and meet new people. Volunteer for something and connect with other people. Just do the next right thing one day at a time.

Be patient, strong and be grateful.

You got this man!

 

Keep going bro.
I guess things will turn out to be good since you are doing the right

 

God's will is for your healing and the restoration of your marriage .
That is so clear in His word, so cling to that, believe that, fight for that.
I'm in house separated from my wife for the last three weeks since she discovered an email account and other crap; Again!. We're coming up on 30 years and I've hurt her so many times with my selfish behavior and caving to my addiction. It escalated to the point I was communicating with guys to hook up. I'm not gay or bi, just did a bunch of that as a teen so it's a trigger for me. Didn't follow through but was damn close and she got to read that. Listening to her sob for 20 minutes finally pulled the freaking scales off my eyes and I could no longer minimize how much this blows up her world and hurts her on every level. I'm done with it! Wrapping up day 20 days cold turkey and yeah it's been tough. Knowing it'll be a couple months before we come back together is super tough and sucks but I am claiming that time for my own to heal from this addiction and reboot. She needs it to heal and for me to start building a whole new trust account with her. No rebuilding what wasn't there...

You're in a tough spot. Game on soldier!
I watched a show where the author of the video series "Helping her heal" was being interviewed and definitely sounded like worth while material.
https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/helping-her-heal-video-download/

I'm going to get it and will let you know what I think. Hang in there my friend.

I'm praying for y'all on this thread. Just remember, God is in the restoration business and man does he have some fixer-uppers on here! That's okay though, he's got the resources to make it happen and Jesus already paid for the bill with his life on the cross, then conquered death and rose again! So there is nothing that can stand in the way of him doing miraculous things in our lives. Yeah, our addiction is rough and we may fall, but God chose to be with us and will not forsake us. What he has begun in us he will see it though to the end.
Reach out anytime guys. This isn't a solo battle!