Edging and how it ruined my life

im a 19 year old who has been suffering from pmo addiction for many years now but in the past year my life changed. I started to edge to porn for hours on end and i would feel absolutely terrible afterwards. I would edge but after edging for hours I would still orgasm. I still don’t know if I’ll ever truly recover from that year of intensive brain frying but this past summer I almost completely cut edging out of my life. It literally made my brain feel empty. It was so dogged up and I went through immense psychological pain everytime I edged for at least a couple of days. I would lose interest in life and want to bash my head into a wall. It gave me immense social anxiety and awkwardness which went away for the most part when I stopped edging but it still is kinda there. This morning I relapsed and edged for about 15 minutes and orgasmed and I feel like absolute shit. My brain is filled with that foggy feeling and my body feels stiff. It literally makes me feel like I have no point in life. I just wanted to know if anyone else experienced this feeling before from edging and I would like to warn anyone that a quick pmo is MUCH better than edging because i feel like it actually ruined my life. Sorry if this is long but I just can’t take this anymore and I can’t wait till this post edging feeling goes away after a few days. I noticed that if I wait two to three days after edging and orgasming then just having a normal quick pmo session without edging I feel normal again but if I don’t do that it usually takes about a week till I feel normal again, maybe it has something to do with resetting my sex drive or something idk...