Gay Fapstronauts – thoughts on "jerking it out" ?

Great concepts! In general, I think pouring yourself into other things instead of fap can be a benefit, if not a more fulfilling replacement.

 

I think for me it started as a young teenager too as a way to explore my sexuality and being gay when everyone else my age i knew was straight. in those days it was dial up internet and porn was mostly static images that took ages to load. Then when i was 16 an older guy i met encouraged me to join a gay dating site and that really kicked off my chat room addiction. This coincided with the arrival of high speed internet and streaming porn vids.

I dont want to achieve that ability others talk about of suddenly being more attractive to people in bars. I have a wonderful partner of nearly 10 years and things between us need to improve, ive never been able to fully perform sexually and think this is porn/chat room related.

 

Probably pied, me too

 

I read this and couldn't help but think I have had exactly the same experiences! This is my first time writing a reply here but I had to since this applied to me so much as well. I have realized recently that porn has had incredibly negative effects on my life, and am now trying to quit.
Porn was definitely a coping mechanism as well, and especially the fetishes have helped me to disconnect from reality, since I would never do these types of things with anyone. I'd jerk it out to these fetishes to get rid of my horniness, then go back to reality as if that private side of me didn't exist. Looking back, I understand that this did have unconscious, negative side effects on my self-confidence, and it became a spiral, where I'd avoid people to feel better, jerk it out to that same porn that was damaging me, get rid of the horniness, and then go back to reality. The cycle repeated constantly.
I agree with you regarding the self-control; one aspect of NoFap which i've realized from abstaining in the past was the self-control I gained, and consequently the self-confidence. Once i quit, after a certain number of days i suddenly didn't get a boner when a guy got close to me; that is a great feeling (and also so such less awkward
Definitely have experienced the same as you, where in the past i jerked it out just to get it off my mind, but i now recognize the triggers which lead me to PMO, and i know what i can do to avoid them and get my mind off of the horniness; namely, exercise, and avoidance of idleness. Another big one is just being social, and surrounding myself with good friends and family, having conversations. This makes me feel more responsible, and to be a better person.
Glad to see someone with similar experiences. I wish you luck with NoFap. I am desperate to get past my personal best of 2 weeks now. Your response is welcome as well.

 

Yeah man I was a very self-hating and in denial gay kid for most my teen years. I had deep crushes on some guys at my school that were super straight, and it made me severely depressed to know that I would never have a shot with the guys I liked. I've never had any issues getting girls to like me, I've had a strange amount of girls actually ask me out in high school. I felt like I wasn't ready to come out yet and I moved in insecurity through most of high school. At 18 I moved away and finally decided to go out with someone in college, which is when I discovered I had PIED and was numb to real life interactions. In high school, I was (potentially in love) with some close male friends of mine and I just wanted to be able to socialize with them without feeling how I felt. I remember nights of binge drinking excessively thinking about them and it hurt me a lot. Porn was a great way to "express my feelings" about homophobic guys I've had crushes on ever since I was 12. Now trying to figure out how to like gay guys who act like gay guys, stay away from porn, etc. all feels like it isn't really worth it, because I feel like I'll ultimately never have a relationship with one of the guys I genuinely like. I hate what I did to myself with porn, but I also understand it. I was trying to keep myself nice and safe in the closet. Now I'm out and I feel so numb. I've had multiple boyfriends since I came out in the summer at 19, but none of the relationships really meant anything to me. I even began recovering my PIED and started to be able to have sex, but I relapsed and binged on porn. It was all self-hate stuff too. Sissy porn, transgendered person porn, torture, domination etc. It felt more real than any of my relationships had. I have no problem getting gay guys and girls to like me, yet I still feel very alone because of what you're talking about. My entire sexuality has been dedicated to serving straight guys I like, and degrading myself so I can compartmentalize my sexuality and not have to deal with it. Now it's all I can think about and it's ruining my life. Ironic.

 

I also developed fetishes around straight men and being dedicated to serving them although for me this developed over time fuelled by chat room roleplays with "straight" men and some tumblr trawling. Was never into sissy or transgendered person stuff but some pretty extreme dom/sub stuff.

I never felt really comfortable with it though, for me i knew id damaged myself with cyber sex and porn

 

Yeah man it's ultimately made it hard for me to connect with others. Like the only connection that feels real is my connection with a dom straight guy

 

I really love gays I've so many gay friends and we're so very happy when we have each other..