[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 29/154 (Days Clean Before Return Home)

 

0/365

 

Hi, i am so confused is there something wrong with me? I was on 55 days streak, no pmo or sex. So on my 56th day I had a girl come over, we were making out and it was great but as soon as she touched my 80% erect penis I came. I was fine when she was touching it whith my pants on.
I am confused, if it’s something 13 years of extreme PMOing has caused or I have a real medical problem ?
Please help! Or tell me the right section to post this in.

 

Day 22. Lots of sexual thoughts and images and urges to MO but I know P is out of the question. Hopefully the urges won’t be so intense as I get more time.

 

10/365

 

Day 85
"Everyone has their story. Everyone has issues. You have to face your fears." – Lisa Bonet

 

Day 19/365 (current challenge streak progress Nov 10,11,12,13,14,15-16)

Finished current 1-week streak and go to next 1-week (Nov 17-23) goal.

 

day 0!

 

7/365

 

Day 4- After attending day 2 of the networking event yesterday, I feel enthused that I will really grow and start to connect with others on a deeper level. I used to think I was socially inept but its because of the shame of porn that I become anxious in public settings. I also need to work on my social and communication skills. Someone said on this forum that connection is key in breaking the habit of PMO.
It is a weekend and I haven't planned for anything. However, I don't think staying in the house is going to be an option. Let me start planning to get away from boredom which is a big trigger for me.

 

59 Days

In order to change your life, you have to literally become someone else.
Joe Dispenza, You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter

The neurological research shows something truly remarkable: If a person keeps taking the same substance, his or her brain keeps firing the same circuits in the same way—in effect, memorizing what the substance does. The person can easily become conditioned to the effect of a particular pill or injection from associating it with a familiar internal change from past experience. Because of this kind of conditioning, when the person then takes a placebo, the same hardwired circuits will fire as when he or she took the drug. An associative memory elicits a subconscious program that makes a connection between the pill or injection and the hormonal change in the body, and then the program automatically signals the body to make the related chemicals found in the drug. . . . Isn’t that amazing? Benedetti
Joe Dispenza, You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter

If a species is subject to repetitive external environmental stimuli over the course of several generations, in time that species will adapt to those stimuli. The genetics of that species will change to support a new internal state, one that will help the species survive that external stimuli for generations to come. This is called survival of the species. It is a linear, slow process for most species.
Joe Dispenza, Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind

That’s because when you fall asleep, you naturally shift though the entire spectrum of brain-wave states, going from your waking, beta state to the slower alpha state, when you close your eyes, to the slower-still theta state, when you’re half-asleep and half-awake, all the way down to the deep-sleep delta brain-wave state.
Joe Dispenza, You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter

And if we’re living the same life every day by doing the same things at the same time, seeing the same people at the same place, and creating the same experiences from yesterday, then we’re enslaved to having our outer worlds influence our inner worlds. It’s our environment that is controlling how we think, act, and feel. We’re victims of our personal realities, because our personal realities are creating our personalities—and it’s become an unconscious process.
Joe Dispenza, You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter

Only when subjects held both heightened emotions and clear objectives in alignment were they able to produce the intended effect. An intentional thought needs an energizer, a catalyst—and that energy is an elevated emotion. Heart and mind working together. Feelings and thoughts unified into a state of being. If a state of being can wind and unwind strands of DNA in two minutes, what does this say about our ability to create reality?
Joe Dispenza, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

67 percent of the women told the researchers that they didn’t exercise regularly, and 37 percent said they didn’t get any exercise. After this initial assessment, Crum and Langer divided the maids into two groups. They explained to the first group how their activity related to the number of calories they burned and told the maids that just by doing their jobs, they got more than enough exercise. They didn’t give any such information to the second group (who worked in different hotels from the first group and so wouldn’t benefit from conversations with the other maids). One month later, the researchers found that the first group lost an average of two pounds, lowered their percentage of body fat, and lowered their systolic blood pressure by an average of 10 points—even though they hadn’t performed any additional exercise outside of work or changed their eating habits in any way. The other group, doing the same job as the first, remained virtually unchanged. This
Joe Dispenza, You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter

 

Well, I had the same problem too.
I couldn't speak between people , more than a few people . I was not comfortable. My heartbeat went up and my voice and speaking was getting shaky.
And I was thinking that maybee it is because of my nature or characteristics but I found that porn has ruined the quality of my deep breathing and also my voice by unbalancing hormones and ...other consequences As all you guys know them.
But nowadays I can talk in front of people loudly and with confidence.
Nowadays It has become better, people like to chat and talk with me, especially girls watching and laughing. But I don't want to get into relationship nowadays .
One important thing that change the way I feel is that, I like to do 70 percent and I don't like to be perfect guy. I used to think and act in a way that I should be 100 percent right and perfect,it had been putting pressure on me .
These days I just want to be normal and I quickly free my mind and body from negative thoughts and feelings and tension in muscles, revenge, thinking about my mistakes in the past, or being worry about future, or ..
Hope it helps
God bless

 

Your experience gives me even more confidence that there is hope. I also don't like 'acting' like the perfect guy. It is so tiresome. As you say I just want to be 100% the authentic self not some made up persona to please other people. I don't we are drawn to 'perfect' people. We connect not just because of our strengths and things we have in common but also due to vulnerabilities and flaws. For me, it's just I am afraid of being the authentic me and have people see my vulnerabilities and weaknesses. I just want to show my strength. But I know this is unrealistic. Soon, I will learn to fully let go and stop caring what others think. Thanks!

 

Right now,thinking about it, I am happy that I relapsed 4 days ago. Why? It has made me learn. It has made me more determined, more than ever. It has made me change my strategy. Even in failure, as long as I learn something vital and do not wallow in self pity for too long and I get back on track, I am still on the journey of recovery. I have learned that self pity after a relapse is inevitable. I can allow myself to feel bad for some hours, not suppressing the negative emotions, feel them fully, refocus, then get back on track.

 

DAY 6/365:

Another day !

 

day 1/365. Good Morning!! I have been very busy with games and entertainment with my siblings, and I have avoided being alone. Not that this is necessary against the PMO, but it's always good to be busy-minded! For us, who are mostly young people, we do not totally have the neuron of responsibility and conscience. 100% Developed, it is much more difficult to fight the virus! Whenever you are reading, think of practicing PMO outside reason itself, that is, you decide not to practice PMO and you still have some "triggers" wrong, try to think about the consequences in the medium to long term !!! Think about your future and do not just be one of many in the PMO "herd". I wish you a great day and I hope you, like me, do not give up the fight against the PMO!

 

Day 23/365

 

Day 70

 

Day 140/365

 

Day 19/365
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Ups and downs... Time to meditate