Oral sex with transgendered person

To me, that all depends on what your goal is. Is your goal just to remain PMO free? Are you in any kind of committed relationship?

 

Ah, okay. So does your wife know about this desire or this encounter? If there were any others, does she know about those?

 

there is absolutely nothing wrong with having oral or even anal sex with a transgendered person. Sounds like fun. Do whatever you like, you don't need to ask strangers on the internet for permission.

As long as you stay true to your partner and are able to satisfy them, everything is fine.

 

yes, I agree it is better to try things and realise that they are not for you then never to try and always keep fantasising about it.

I like having sex with men and my wife does not have a problem with that. The thing with constant porn usage is that it takes too much sexual energy. You can't fulfil your duty to your wife anymore.

 

It is not ok to do this. Unless your wife gave you permission, but that's not typical and you mentioned she doesn't even know. @Raygon you have definitely gone down the rabbit hole (I had a transwoman attraction as well, so I understand the craziness), I'm assuming you're completely straight prior to porn, it's not normal to perform oral sex on a transgendered person while you're in a committed relationship. You probably became like this through years of porn. You gotta stop PMO and reboot your mind. For the sake of your marriage and kids, please stop! The first step is admitting you have a problem, and you've already done that by coming here and being honest with all of us. Now the next step is wanting to make a change, you have to make that commitment to yourself and for the sake of your family. I'm still attracted to TG porn I think, but it's been a while since I saw any (had 41 days no P prior to a reset) and honestly I think about them A LOT LESS! I'm hopeful for myself and for you that we can overcome this.

@BartlebytheScrivener, I think you're giving some pretty poisonous advice. How is he staying true to his partner by doing this? I bet he isn't satisfying his partner because this is what PMO does to our minds. Everything is not fine.

 

@ClaritySeeker. I understand where you are coming from. But the OP's wife does not need to know. He has tried something, didn't like it and can now move on. I don't see anything morally wrong with what has been done. I don't think it is a good idea to spend your life fantasizing about things that you would like to do. It is better to try them and see whether you like it. I think that is the healthier approach rather than living life in a closet.

You simply can't define normal. Don't assume how other people are.

I perform oral sex on men and I am in a reasonably healthy relationship. I developed this liking way before I got exposed to porn. Bisexuality is something normal and I don't think porn has the ability to change anyone's sexual direction.

 

Gents,

This is excellent dialogue. I ask, however, that we refer to a transsexual as person.....not a "transgendered person". If you demean them by treating them as somehow "less", then what is it saying about you?

Mind you, I am not commenting about anyone's actions....other than to recognize that a "trans fetish" still involves actual human beings.

Thanks

 

It doesn't matter if you understand where I'm coming from. Normal is someone who did not become addicted to PMO.
The fact that you think it's morally ok to have oral sex with someone and not have your partner know about it is just not ok. Your partner needs to give you consent, that's what marriage is, I can't believe I have to explain this. If he is giving someone oral, he can get gonorrhea, chlamydia, and/or HPV. That's just not fair to his partner.
This poor guy has an addiction to PMO, that's why he tried giving oral sex to a transgender person, this guy was straight to begin with, I read his posts. He was not bi like you to begin with. What he did was try something due to an addiction, if you don't see how this is wrong, I really don't know what else to say.

I'm not saying you're not normal, I think it's fine that you are bisexual, but again you were like that before PMO, he wasn't...

@Davidphd1866, my apologies for using the word transgendered person, I was using Raygon's words, but shouldn't have.

 

I agree and apologise. My intention was right, my wording was not.

 

Still, excellent dialogue. I rather learn a lot from reasonable people who have (vastly) different views.

 

(and, yes, I have had sex with some trans gender women)......so, I REALLY see both sides to this discussion.

 

@BartlebytheScrivener I did not mean any offense and thanks for the apology. This is the great thing about having civil discussions.

 

I meant that I should not have written "transgendered person". I know both transgender people and transvestites personally. It is all a very complex matter. I respect such people. My usage of the word was neither appropriate nor precise.

I also want to maintain discussions on this forum civil, agreed.

 

"The fact that you think it's morally ok to have oral sex with someone and not have your partner know about it is just not ok. Your partner needs to give you consent, that's what marriage is, I can't believe I have to explain this."

agreed, and indeed nothing wrong with having sex or fantasies with a transgender but if you are in a committed relationship, its not ok to have any form of sex without consent of your partner. I think being flirtatious can be ok but thats playing with fire.

 

um what?