Cannot cum during sex, only while masturbating to porn

Welcome
Death grip is is commonly mentioned as one of PMO side effects.
There is no rule but the fact that we used P during our teenage has highly influenced what our brain gets excited too
It will take time but sooner or later you can rewire
The first thing is to stop M to P completely if not you will always get the same reward and the same circuits will get reenforced
It will take time but you will get there. This is a wonderful parh of self discovery. We start with PIED and we finish by reorganizing our whole life because PMO is a symptom of our escapism

Stay strong we do this together

 

My boyfriend was like that when I first met him. It took a few months but now he’s 100% functional. I think you need to get comfortable with your gf and eventually you’ll relax enough to be able to express yourself fully.

Orgasms require concentration and a slow build up during partner assisted activities. My bf stopped PMO and MO and he just stuck to a rythym he liked. He cums the easiest from
behind me. Every so often he cums with me on top. I think you should experiment with what position suits you and then try to get into the moment. Porn is so disconnected because you’re able to watch privately then go away at yourself but during sex, you have a person watching you trying to cum. It’s distracting.

But yeah, just relax and don’t overthink it. You could also be putting too much pressure on yourself to cum.

 

Yup, death grip sounds like what's going on here. I'd definitely suggest a reboot challenge and see how things go after that.

 

You mention marijuana use, and I'm pretty sure that will cause delayed or inability to climax. Other drugs can cause it too, such as antihistamines, decongestants, prostate medications, and I would think opioids. A good examination and honest discussion with a urologist is always a good idea, if you haven't had one lately. Stay on NoFap for a 30 day hard mode reboot, then try partnered sex with plenty of foreplay. Bet you'll be amazed...

 

I deal with delayed ejaculation because of medications that I take. It is almost impossible to cum at times with these meds, yet it will eventually happen with P if I keep at it. This has been an on-going issue for me. I understand how frustrating it is. The pot may be a factor like my meds. I actually take them for Depression/anxiety/OCD. I think if you are an anxious person, especially if you have PMO much, it can cause anxiety trying to achieve O. I like you have no ED issues. I can stay hard for an hour or as long as engaged. It is simply an issue of achieving climax.

 

Welcome to the community.
Staying away from taking things into your own hands will help tremendously.
Performance anxiety can also play a part in this as well. The worry can hold you back, like a viscous circle. If this is part of the problem try to focus more on the intimacy and looking in her eyes. I found with the deep connection the worry would fade away.