Easy Tiger!!

Hard/tough/rigid or soft/strong/flexible- which are you?

Are you 'struggling' to make the changes you want/need to in your life? If so you might want to consider the possibility that you are trying too 'hard', or as Yoda 'said', 'Try not. Do or do not. There is no try'.

We are taught that hardness is strength, that strength is hard, big, bold etc. But is that really working for you (or those who advocate this approach)?

As a result of this we can often find ourselves stubbornly, unwittingly, clinging to our suffering because the macho ideal tells us that this is strength and that change is for people too weak to 'stick to their guns'(Big John Wayne stylee!!) And so we a frightened of letting go, even if what we are clinging onto is causing us pain...

A kid goes waterskiing for the first time and is very excited. Anyways to cut a long story short he puts on his skis, grabs hold of the ropes handle-bars (whatever its called?!) and the boat starts its engine and slowly builds up speed. As is usual with beginners luck he quickly gets his balance and before he knows it he is gliding across the water having the time of his life! "Wow, this is FANTASTIC!", he screams.

Suddenly he loses his balance, and before he knows what's happening the water was now thrashing and beating his body and what had been gloriously pleasurable one minute had now become nothing but high speed hell!With white knuckled determination he clings onto the handle-bar for dear life, never giving it a second thought.Then, in a moment of clarity amidst the pain and panic he has a sudden realisation, a flash of awakening!"It made sense to hold onto the rope when I was surfing but now its causing me nothing but agony!"

So he lets go of the handle-bar...

I remember an old friend of mine who went to the gym daily and had arms like Popeye having friendly banter that I was a bit of a wimp (I had arms more like Olive Oyl!!) so I (very uncharacteristically!) 'challenged' him to an arm wrestle (bearing in mind he was twice my size and I never do weights etc!)

I assured him that I had no desire to beat him as I had nothing to prove, it was he who went to the gym daily and he who had suggested I was 'weak' and to be honest he was trying to show off in front of some girls at work (and at my expense!) so I figured he needed a friendly 'lesson'.

But I also asserted that he would not be able to beat me. At first he refused saying it would be embarrassing for me to lose a competition that was so weighed in his favour. I assured him that it was not a competition to me and that I would neither win nor lose, just help him to understand something he had clearly never considered before.

So we assumed our positions (which felt odd to me but was something he was clearly well versed in!) and 'battle' commenced (to the other guy at least!) I am not saying this to brag (I am a completely anonymous stranger!), just to illustrate a point, but he went blue in the face and I could feel the tension and desperation cursing through his muscle ripped body!

But 'try' as he most certainly did, he could not budge my arm.

I could also sense his utter disbelief and frustration as I simply 'held his hand', relaxed, and smiled. I did not try to beat him, and I don't think I could have even if I'd wanted to, but he could not beat me (the 'wimp'!;-)) and after he had burned himself out (which was surprisingly quick, I could tell what kind of man he was!!) he simply gave up in disbelief.

He was a bit shocked/pride bruised etc but ok about it and we actually became really good friends for a while after that but he never did ask me how I had been able to prevent being 'beaten' that day!?!?

Maybe something I witnessed at the dojo could explain both how I managed the above and why he was never interested in how I did it? (My friend knew I was a black belt in Aikido, and in a way he respected that even though he thought it was a bit 'sissy' because it involves no element of competition (Aikido means the way of harmony with the universe and of course the way to achieve harmony is through cooperation etc)

I remember once my Aikido teacher demonstrating something called 'unbendable arm' which consists of projecting thought/energy through the arm rendering it 'unbendable' when somebody slowly tried to bend it. It also consisted of making the arm 'soft' by relaxing completely and absorbing rhe energy of the person trying to bend it. This had NOTHING to do with competition or the usual 'get me look how tough I am' nonsense that all too often passes as 'strength' but was simply a demonstration of a different kind of 'strength'.

On this particular occasion it was being shown for the first time to a physics teacher at a local secondary school. And it was working. He wasn't using any physical strength whatsoever and yet nobody could bend his arm. He had never experienced anything quite like it before- and he was amazed! But after a short while he started to get agitated and a 'troubled' look betrayed his inner dilemma. "Is there any instrument that can measure and verify this so it can be scientifically proven to work" he somewhat nervously enquired. "Can you feel it", asked the teacher, "yes I can", came the reply, "then do you not already have all the proof you need?"

We never saw him again!!??

So how did I prevent my friend from 'beating' me in our friendly arm-wrestle? There was no 'trickery' or magic etc, I simply relaxed completely, I projected energy outward from my centre (just below the navel) through my arm and through the ceiling (never stopping), and I absorbed all the energy he was giving me into my centre and created a loop by using the 'problem' to my advantage with no pressure (or desire) to win and no intention of 'losing'. In fact my only intention was to illustrate a different kind of strength to the 'hard' macho 'ideal' that perpetuates the 'Way of War', in all areas of our lives and which seeks to dominate and put down others etc.

The projection of the energy 'through the ceiling' also illustrates the importance of 'affirmation' etc when used to create a sense of direction as 'where the mind flows, the body follows' which is another central principle of 'the Way of Harmony' etc.

This short story illustrates this...

A man and woman are out walking and soon find they are lost. Realising they are miles from anywhere, that they have no water, and that the man is getting particularly irrate (and very very thirsty!) the woman suddenly recognised where they were and even though it would take them a while to reach their destination she assured the man that she knows of a well nearby that has the cleanest, coolest water she has ever tasted. The man had been in utter despair up until this point, ready to give up, but upon hearing this his mouth watered, so he focused on reaching the well, and he kept walking...(there was no well by the way but they did eventually find a lovely little shop!!)

And I love this story about soft and hard etc...

young man went to visit his very old and much respected teacher on his deathbed and asked for one last word of wisdom. The teacher opened his mouth and asked, "Is my tongue still there?" "Yes!", answered the young man. "Are there any teeth left?" the old man asked. "No!" came the reply. The young man asked the reason he had asked. "The toungue is left because it is soft, the teeth are gone because they are hard. Soft is closer to life, and hard is closer to death. Soft bends, brittle breaks. Such is life. I have nothing left to teach you."


If this helped you in any way try these http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2655-The-Way-of-Harmony
http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2831-Stop-and-STAY-stopped!!

 

Related thread http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2899-Hard-Mode-Soft-Heart

 

I was driving home today and a policeman decided it was his duty to inform me I had a dodgy brake light (and to be fair he was only doing his job, it was just HOW he did it that became a 'problem'). Unfortunately he wasn't content to simply gesture for me to pull over (which he did and which I acknowledged) he could not resist going all 'starsky and hutch' on me and put his sirens on (mind you it was dark and they did look really pretty when they were flashing and it looked exciting and cool and that so I guess I can't blame him considering the mental age he displayed when we eventually exchanged words!)

So he struts over to the car (has clearly seen Robocop once too often!) and asks me in his well rehearsed primary school teacher voice, "Good evening sir" (they have to refer to us as sir in a reluctant acknowledgement that they are employed to serve US!), "Can I just ask you if you tested the efficiency of your brake lights before commencing your journey this evening?" (Desperately trying to sound clever but failing miserably!)

"Well officer", I replied, "You know that's something that has never occurred to me for the simple reason that whilst I was pressing the brake light I would not be able to see of they were working or not as they are at the back of the car."

"Very clever sir, but was there anything stopping you backing up to a reflective surface like a window or a garage and checking if they are working?"

"Well yes there was something stopping me, the fact that I am relatively NORMAL!! Who checks their brake lights before each journey? Did you check yours before you came out?"

"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm sir?"

"No, what you are 'detecting' are the words of a perfectly (and clearly) decent 'citizen' who is going about his day with a dodgy brake light, which I appreciate you pointing out by the way, but what I do not appreciate is the fact that you have clearly misinterpreted your role and have no right whatsoever to speak to the public whose taxes pay you to SERVE them as if they are subordinate little children (not that I would even speak to children in the tone he used!) and I would just like to ask you if you were 'trained' to view the public in this way or is this just the way you are?!?!"

"There's no need to be aggressive sir and if you continue in this manner I will be asking you to accompany me to the station!"

"Well, firstly I am speaking to you very calmly and asking you a particularly pertinent question under the circumstances, and secondly under what law do you propose to arrest me?"

"Well sir, I will let you off this time but I have taken your registration number and if you do not get this brake light fixed in the next 24 hours you will receive a £50 fine!"

"Letting me off for WHAT exactly?? You pointed out my break light wasn't working, which I genuinelly wasn't aware of and am grateful you have pointed out so I can go and get it repaired, and I simply asked you why you feel the need to act the way you do because I often hear people say police/public relations are 'strained' and I guess I'm now wondering if you have ever considered that the number one reason for that is the way you have just presented yourself?!!

"You have 24 hours to get that break light sorted out sir. Thank you"

"But you havent answered any of my questions!!!"

And even then he STILL managed to maintain that Robocop walk on the way back to his car!!

Sorry for the rant but to me this is a symptom of the macho bullshit that passes for 'strength' in this society and which also manifests as pride and clinging on to ideas that no longer serve us because we are 'real' men etc (and porn has done nothing but strengthen that view when you cast your mind back to some of the clowns we allowed ourselves to watch let alone the mentality behind the scenes!)

Also I thought I'd tell this story to shamelessly put this thread on the front page I'm the hope it with help some of us 'soften' our approach not only towards ourselves (first and foremost) but also to others (which would be a natural consequence) because the world really would be a better place, as Gandhi said, "be the change you want to see in the world"...http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthre...ange-you-want-to-see-in-the-world-quot-Gandhi and hopefully when we do recognise the tendancies described above in ourselves and others we can challenge them, 'gently', and with the intention of 'resolving' any unnecessary tension of course (however 'difficult' that can be sometimes;-))


P.S. if there are any policemen on here perhaps you could help me with my enquiry and please don't get me wrong The guy mentioned above might be a really nice chap when he's out of uniform and I know you have a lot of idiots to deal with but does that general approach of treating people like they are stupid/inferior etc etc really do ANYBODY any favours because the general feeling that most people I know is that as long as police (and people in 'uniform' in general) continue to behave in this manner they will forever be viewed by the rest of us as a bunch of 'tossers'!

This is also interesting and I work in social care and TRUST me the very same mentality climbs the ladder and is calling the shots in virtually ALL areas of out lives!!

http://www.infowars.com/whistleblower-tsa-deliberately-hiring-psychopathic-criminals/

Does this not concern anybody? Or is it just me

 

Easy tiger...

Buddha told a parable in a sutra:

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!