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Urges minimizing?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by vitatertot, Nov 19, 2018.

  1. vitatertot

    vitatertot Fapstronaut

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    So i'm sitting at my computer playing an RTS Game, and getting bored cause it's going on for really long. My usual urge train of thought kicked in, and I realized plain and clear how it keeps getting to me. I've been using a dialogue technique taught in breaking the cycle and it's really been helping. The train of thought is this
    I'm bored, lets do something more exiting.
    Nothing that's wrong, just stimulating, lets go check the news! (and you know there'll be pictures of models on there, just browse on it and go back to the game)
    It's not wrong, it's not even porn, it's just somethin little, you can stop. You WILL stop.

    Here's where it gets tricky. You know how you have those things that you just do as a routine, like you don't even think about it? You wake up and TURN OFF THE ALARM. You brush your teeth and turn on the water. Your porn addicted brain puts the "Go onto the trigger site" right there with the automatic. It puts in in the sequence of events that you're going to do and you don't even make a conscious decision to do it. When I minimize the game, pull up google chrome and go to the news. Then scroll down to the tabloid section. I know where I'll go from there. Here's the thing: You have a choice. It seems like it's going to be automatic, like you don't even have a choice, and that it's not that big of a deal.

    Here's the thing. Your brain, when you are triggered, will automatically make the decision for you to go there. You didn't have to think about it. It's something YOU ARE GOING TO DO. (That's why it's a habit! you don't think about it. Except it's an addiction, so it's worse.) What you have to do is realize WHEN you're planning on doing it, and make the CONSCIOUS decision to change your mind. You have to realize that
    1: I can do something else that will stimulate me. I can play some music, workout, go call a friend, eat some food, or cook some food!
    2: It is a big deal. The little picture that you are going to look at IS porn to your porn starved mind, and it WILL lead you to look at porn. If you choose not to say no to the first picture, you WILL NOT say no to the second one. That's just how it works.
    3: You have a choice. Your brain has slipped it into your list of to-do's, but you can just delete it. CHOOSE to not look. CHOOSE to come on here and post. CHOOSE to quit porn. Now.

    Love you guys,
    Stay strong, it gets better.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. DGZ

    DGZ Fapstronaut

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    To complement your post, it's good to keep in mind that all habits consist of a trigger, a routine, and a reward. You need to change the routine, but keep the reward. Your road to relapse goes something like this:

    Stoppable step 1, stoppable step 2, very hard to stop step 3, impossible step 4, relapse.

    After the relapse you think, how is it possible to abstain from PMO? Because you are only looking at the impossible step. But, the road to relapse began when you had nothing to do at 11 PM and you were in front of your computer with blue balls.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Fapenstein

    Fapenstein Fapstronaut

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    I dont have urges anymore. Personally, the more time goes on and more you can live without constantly thinking about it, the less it's on your mind the faster you will heal. It's hard for your psychology and mental makeup to heal when you are in a constant state of fantasizing, worrying, fighting. Once the mind silences and the urge comes to a crawl, at this point is when the healing starts to pay off.
     
  4. Nick1918

    Nick1918 Fapstronaut

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    Very nice post sounds like you have really got your shit together with dealing with this may your resolve never weaken.
     

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