Wank and sex SOS

Even with a loose grip and lube it is very different sensation than the real thing, along with movement and speed. Leaving it alone for a time should start bringing sensitivity back.
As far as what she is sending you, it will keep that chemical concoction going in your brain.
We are all different and I don't know your whole story. Hard mode would be the quickest way to get well. We went with no PM and it worked well but can lengthen recovery.
Discuss this with her and set up your plan. Keep communication open and honest with her. If something isn't working revise your plan.

 

Any time

 

I noticed that i started to ejaculate regularly with my wife only 2 weeks after i stopped porn. In that time, I have also masturbated far less.
Before, there have been years when ejaculations when having sex with my wife or with men were pretty rare.


I am not sure about this death grip thing, the way it feels for me is that there may be some truth to it. On the other side, sexual play with partners is also often rough to the penis. Try it with less masturbation when you are alone. Maybe the lube is a good idea.

When ot comes to saucy material that you get froom your gf I d say you should enjoy that because that is part of the sexual lifw your gf wants to have with you. This is why you are making an effort in the first place, so indulge even if it involves masturbation.

 

Were you beating off on a regular basis before?

 

If you are conditioned to masturbation then your body and brain may expect and want the same situation in order to reliably orgasm. Being comfortable, totally relaxed, and able to be present in the moment and enjoy it, rather than anxious and distracted, is key in order to orgasm with a partner. If you had specific conditions that you used to recreate in the lead up to orgasm (ie watching specific material, ramping up the intensity of your stroking etc) it may take a little time to learn to orgasm in different conditions to these. The longer it has been since your last O, though, and the more sexually excited you are (which can be ensure through flirting and teasing with your partner well before you progress to the bedroom, and by not rushing foreplay but making sure to savour every touch) the more easily you will reach orgasm. One thing that can prevent orgasm is worrying about not being able to. The more you stress or obsess about not orgasming, the harder it will be to get there. Be honest with your partner, tell them that you sometimes struggle to O with a partner. Tell them you are okay with not finishing. Without the stress of feeling like you need to O, you may find that it happens naturally.

Another thing worth considering is how you use your imagination when Ming to O. If you are imagining the same sort of over-the-top, super-pornographic situations and acts when on your own, the discrepancy between that sort of image and the reality of actual sex with a partner may be somewhat disappointing to you. The longer you are away from P, the less disappointed you will be with the fact that you have only one partner, and that the acts they are engaging in are not so extreme, centred solely on you or that they do not resemble whatever specific fetishes and kinks your PMO rabbit hole led you to seek out. These images in your imagination are still hyper-stimulating in the same way that P is. You need time to recover from the use of these imaginary images as stimulation, too, and to learn to appreciate the flesh and blood partner with whom you are being intimate.

 

@samnf1900 hit in on the head when he said that worrying about not having an orgasm will prevent you from having one, I see, to have this problem quite often and feel bad when I don't orgasm with my gf during sex. She has her doubts that I am doing something which I can't blame her for that because of the past but it still gets frustrating and tell her that I did try. It has been getting better but it still bothers me and I hope it will get better over time.

 

yep, performance anxiety is a vicious circle hard to escape from.