Close to relapsing

Just one little drink...just one line...just one quick session...”I’ve put in 20 days, I deserve it”. I just wanted let you hear what I’m hearing from your post. Good job on your progress- yes. It will ultimately delay/ set you back from where I assume you aim to be. The road to hell is paved with accumulated “just one quick ones”

 

JUST DONT, YOU WILL REGRET IT. I just relapsed yesterday after my second streak, and I completely regret doing it. At first, you're gonna think it's gonna feel good and all, but when you're done, it's the complete opposite. Think about how much progress you made, 20 days! Imagine, if you had to start over from day 0, because you relapsed. Remember, why you started this, you want to stop this addiction. If you relapse, you're just making it worse. Don't give in.

 

Do something that takes you out of the spiral. Drop and do push ups to exhaustion...splash water on your face and look in the mirror and say to yourself “ think about this, dumb*ss!”... go find a place where people are and just chill...destroy the isolation and the PASSING urge. If it comes back...do it all again. Is it a grind? Is it torturous? Hell yes! BUT each time you push through, the voice in your head gets a little less powerful.

 

You can't give in bro. Honestly, I went 60 days and after I have been in a state of binge since. All my productivity has gone, I've felt numb, devoid of motivation, sick etc. Its been a nightmare. Mediate, get out of the house, go play sport, exercise.. do whatever you can because I promise you it is absolutely not worth it. Its hard right now, I know it is. But this urge will pass. But you need to work on making it pass. The alternative is complete pain and misery and for your own sake please stay strong. We are all with you! You can do this!!!

 

Hi Pathofregorm,
I managed 27 days recently and then failed. When in a bit of a binge.
However, did I enjoy it? No, I didn’t. Looking back it was so stupid. I’d been there before like you now and managed to get through it.
If you don’t fail now, you’ll be thinking in a few days time “I’m glad that I didn’t O”.

 

I love this quote because it perfectly describes the slow process of recovery. I don’t know any one that spontaneously got better without stumbling all along the way!

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

At least for me- I walked down that same street many,many times before choosing a different street

 

Thanks for that testimony, it may just give me the strength not to fall. I am quite relaxed about it all but I have this fear that sooner or later I will give in then back to the races. But honestly I dont have the urges right now and I feel very blessed about that. I have 20 days.

 

There's this potent and awful moment in the memoir 'Permanent Midnight' in which a recovering heroin addict is watching his young daughter play. His body's a mess from years of abuse and he knows that one more relapse means his child will be taken from him. In spite of all this, all he can think about in that moment is how great the next hit might feel.

And in my personal experience, there is always a 'next hit' waiting...

 

Its just like smoking.
Hard to quit.
You feel good when you do stop.
You think just one wont hurt.
You smoke and you just want to die.
Sound familiar?