I have made some progress, think my anhedonia was porn induced.

IT's been a while since I posted on here. I have some good news to share about my NoFap experiences.

I sadly haven't gone further than 25 days (the longest streak I was on), but I did go for 19 days this month! And I have finally realised my porn addiction is connected to my depression (at least half of it) and anhedonia.

The urges were terrible and I did peak at porn slightly, but not looking at it enough to actually cause arousal (just a fast heart beat). But my thoughts got clearer towards the end of the streak, my emotional range improved. I finished reading a book series which I had been reading for around a year and 3 months or so, and I felt excited and actually felt emotion to some extent. I started to feel like how I used to prior to 2011.

Sadly, after a gym session and writing (this also felt more enjoyable!), I relapsed. I have orgasmed around 12 times since the 20th. The funny thing is, the first few times I orgasmed, it didn't completely get rid of the better feeling. It got worse as I masturbated more, noticing my body felt worse the more I masturbated. Today I feel more anhedonic, but it's not complete anhedonia. The other day I was enjoying myself while listening to music, haven't felt that way in so long lol.

Is it possible that while I did relapse, my brain was resetting itself to it's default state so the effect orgasming had on me wasn't quite as bad until I got into doing it again? And does this sound like my PMO had something to do with my depression symptoms?

I am going to go for a longer streak starting at the end of the month. What I am going to do, since I found out that this works, if I masturbate enough times to the point I feel super shitty, my mind can use the guilt and shitty feeling to create a strong command to get rid of porn. This is how I usually start my reboot attempts. It may not be conventional, but I find that it works for me despite how damaging it can be.

The fact I enjoyed writing after going to the gym actually confirmed that I need my brain to be in a more normal state to actually function and do things like that. I just knew it was.

Now, what will 90 days without fapping do to my mind?

Note: Please ignore my 86 days of NoFap below. I forgot to actually take that out when I thought I was going to quit using these sites.

 

Kinda shocked no one cared to reply to this at all.

I won't be using the site after the 31st when I start my third serious reboot attempt. Any information about this and opinions would be very useful.

No seriously, I could do with some.

 

I don't mind living with some minor depression, just as long as I can still enjoy life and the things that I care about.

I will fap once more on the 31st, and then that will be it. I fapped today and feel downright awful and almost completely anhedonic. The effect happens a few minutes after orgasming too rather than instantly.