My schedule is all fucked up and i need help.

- Don't stay up late, turn the computer off after dinner.
- Cold showers are cool but not mandatory.
- If you have money pay for a Personal Trainer, go to a gym that has a PT/Teacher available to teach you. (I don't know how are the gyms where you live but here there is usually someone always available to help you)
- Don't try out crazy diets before you pick on the basic habits like quitting junk food or soda, do that first before more complex ideas.
- Learn how to eat.
- Pick up new hobbies, go to the gym and learn how to cook and eat.
- Stop being a lazy fuck.
- You shouldn't be with your phone in bed, keep it away.
- Stop being a lazy fuck.
- Sleep in the bed but keep your phone far from it. And the computer as well.

Go to r/fitness' FAQ to learn to eat and workout. The sticky of 4chan's /fit/ is also cool. Lots of useful information in those places.

 

Here goes my two cents. Totally my own opinions, take what you want and leave the rest

-I always stay up late and struggle to wake up in the morning

Proper diet and exercise will take care of this. Another option could be forcing yourself to get up early, say 7am and packing your day with things to do. You’ll be tired by at least 10…sometimes I’m ready for bed at 8:30, lol

-I can't take cold showers no matter how hard i try

Then don’t take cold showers. That’s shocking and uncomfortable to the body and not a good thing to do in my opinion. What’s true for one person may not be true for you. The talk on cold showers is all opinionated.


-I don't go to the gym because i have no idea what I'm supposed to do once I'm there, and I don't know anyone I could ask. Also tried C25K, but i gave up after 2 days because i feel insecure about running by myself on the street.

YouTube is a gold mine for this. That’s how I learned to workout. Get some free weights from Wal-Mart and start at home. Look up Scooby’s Workshop – it’s all free! He taches technique in video’s and his website outlines specific programs. I must say he is very quirky and goofy, just look past that because he knows his stuff. Eventually you’ll find other people you like, and you can learn from them as well.


-I'm a bit overweight. I tried keto, IF, etc. but i always ended up quitting after a few days. I can't stick to the diets i plan out, i always end up ordering junk food before returning home.

Try not dieting. You know in your heart of hearts what’s healthy and what is not. Just make conscious choices of foods that are fueling your body. Check YouTube out for healthy meals. I learned to cook on YouTube, ha! You’ll find that there is a lot that you’ve probably never even thought about to incorporate into your diet. I always use the 80/20 rule, 80% of the day I eat fruits, vegetables and lean meats and 20% of the day I have whatever I want. That way I’m not feeling restricted or “I can’t have.”


-I don't eat breakfasts, usually i eat spaghetti or rice before i go to sleep.

Eat breakfast, even if it’s a protein shake. Your body hasn’t had any fuel for X number of hours that you just spent sleeping. Fruit is another good breakfast item.

Avoid carbs late at night. Carbs turn to sugar and sugar gets stored as fat. Instead snack on things like nuts, seeds or yogurt in the evenings.


-The only thing i do in my spare time is play video games because i'm to insecure to leave the house unless i'm invited by my friends (which doesn't happen that often).

Instead of playing video games, what would like to do? Make a list and start doing those items. Learning to work out and cook could be a start.


-I procrastinate a lot.

I believe procrastination is fear. What are you afraid of?


-I got addicted to falling asleep with the help of rain sounds from my phone. Now i literally cannot fall asleep without them, and the earbuds are making me sleep very uncomfortably.

I used to do this too, but with music! I get it. Try taking 5mg of melatonin and let the rain sound splay on your phone at a low enough level that you can hear it with the phone on your nightstand.


-I could name you 5 reasons why doing pmo is a bad idea off the top of my head, but before i inevitably relapse every 2-3 days i lose control and just can't help myself.

Get all in! Get a porn blocker on your computer and phone, get rid of your stash. If it’s accessible, you didn’t set yourself up for success. Get a list of other things to do instead to occupy your urges. Write the reason for doing nofap down on paper as a reminder to yourself.


-I tried sleeping on the couch because i literally can't spend 20 minutes in my bed without edging. While this has helped me with relapsing, it's driven the quality of my sleep down.

Again, fill your time with things to do. Maybe instead of edging you could be reading something. I would suggest The Power of Intention from Wayne Dyer. Or any topic of your choice.

 

The problem is you're mindset. Right now you probably have a 'pussy mentality', you say things like 'I don't know what to do when I get to the gym' or 'I can't fall asleep without my earbuds' or 'I procrastinate a lot'. These are ridiculous excuses, so ridiculous they cannot even be called excuses. What is really stopping you from doing these things? They are not difficult and you know they will be good for you, so do them.

Now you might say 'But I know these are pussy excuses, I have berated myself already for not doing them and I still can't do them'. Ok fine, I will help you out. The biggest thing that will help you is creating a positive feedback loop. You are probably sitting at your desk right now. Look around you and ask yourself 'What can I do right now, that requires little to no effort and will improve my room or life in some way'. It could be something tiny, like taking your bins out or picking up your dirty washing. If you can't bring yourself to even bring the bins out you will have to do some negotiating. Ask yourself 'What is the smallest reward I would be willing to accept for bringing the bins out?. Whatever it is stop reading this post, do it right now then come back.

That felt good didn't it? You have started the loop. That's enough for toady, you don't want to burnout, but you will do more tomorrow. Look at your life and ask yourself instead about what you can do to improve your life. Plan one thing that will make your life better in some way and do it. If you have to negotiate with yourslef again, that's fine. Here are some things you could do; look into some gym programs, take a cold shower for 10 seconds with the coldest temperature you can bare, cook yourself a nice meal, go for a walk, go to bed early, call up your friend that you haven't talked to in a while and arrange to do something, start reading a book. All of these require very little effort but they will get you on the right track.

Do this for a week everyday and you will have already made great progress. You will have also started a very powerful loop which you can use to propel you upwards and you have learnt how to negotiate with yourself. Once you have done this for a week the next step it to get your sleep in order. Sleep is incredibly important, getting 8 hours every night will make a huge difference in your life, so make sure you get 8 hours every night. Also, if you can try to wake up and go to bed at a similar time everyday.

This may take a while, but once you are getting consistent sleep you can start on another habit. Try having a cold shower every morning. you don't have to have a full cold shower. What I did was have a normal shower then at the end I would put the water on cold for just 1 second at the end on the first day, then 2 the next day and so on. It took me about a month but now I can take full cold showers.

I would also suggest going to the gym. Do a program like starting strength or stronglifts and do it consistently. research nutrition as well and eat correctly. Heres a link to get you started
https://stronglifts.com/5x5/

Anways that is all of my advice, good luck.

 

Try to turn off every device you use to watch the porn or play video games and try to change your sleeping habit first!!!

I found that when I turn off my phone at late night, I would do something else instead, like reading or just sleeping!
And I have less temptations!

 

Just try make 3 habits or fix one area of your life at the one time. Sounds like you're taking on a lot of shit and that will lead to stress and PMO.

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