can't stand this forum anymore

Less than a week ago, I said I was done with NoFap too, for similar reasons, that it sucks you in JUST LIKE ANY OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITE, which is what it is. Now I'm back. Recovery is dull and boring if all it consists of is posting on this website. So I've changed my approach. I'm not refusing NoFap, but I'm minimizing my time on here and, minimizing my time thinking about "my problem", and forcing myself to do as much meaningful offline activity as I can, to make recovery more enjoyable/bearable

 

I support your realization that meaningful activity is much more helpful than reading on this forum. I have come to the same conclusion myself. Connecting with flesh and blood people is much more satisfying than having digital buddies. I mean the digital ones are fine, but they need to either be a stepping stone or an adjunct to the friends we have that spend physical time with us. Here is a Ted Talk video which lays out the underlying reason for addiction.

 

I can't stand it either. This forum (even the NoFap subreddit) have gone to shit. Alpha's, Beta's, etc. There's a post in another topic where someone tries to show a photo of some dude holding a Nintendo Switch console meant as an insult. What's that trying to prove? That he's a "beta"?

The fuck am I reading and watching?

 

I know exactly what you mean.

Although this site is a great place and a helpful tool in recovering from Porn addiction. It can also have the opposite affect if not used properly. I find that spending to much time here just reenforces my porn addiction. It makes me think about my addiction more as opposed to trying to forget about it.

A lot of my relapses have been shortly after visiting this site. Because once I come here I immediately think of my porn addiction and therefore I think about porn.

Not to mention some of the crap I read on here. It makes me want to turn my back on this place. I’ve come across some blinding stories on here lol. Things along the lines of;

“Haven’t fapped for 11 days, best friends mum wants to bang me”

“Day 72... massive hair regrowth” (then they post before and after pics and it’s literally exactly the same, just their hair is longer because they haven’t had a haircut)

“Testicles grew 14.7% and penis hangs 4 inches lower when flaccid”... (I’d like to know where people come up with those exact numbers lol.)

 

Haha, yea, some of it is weird.

 

I am in the same boat more or less.

I can honestly say Ive done great since coming here and looking for the answers. Haven't been back into the porn and my PIED symptoms have subsided quite a bit already; I'm not in the clear yet but things are noticeably more responsive and working more the way they should.

But I'm thinking this isn't a healthy place to be all the time given the nature of it. Being on here a whole bunch is like an alcoholic hopping around to 3 or 4 AA meetings in a day. Nobody needs that, healthy recovery should be quick check-ins and maybe the occasional meeting/chat.

Just like any other kind of recovery, it's important to get the hell on with life and not sit around and dwell on how hard it is.

 

Just why do you consider spending time here like on social media as an inherently bad thing? Maybe it's the good part. At least for me, it is. I have a few friends here. I like to talk to them, and I find it to be better than my other social media. It motivates me, adds something to my day. Anyway, you do you. Good day!

 

The good thing about this forum is that you don't always have to talk about PMO addiction. You can literally talk about whatever you want. There's threads about music, sports, fitness, movies, cooking, etc.. when I come here, it's mainly to distract myself from my addiction, so I stick to things off topic most of the time.

 

Masturbation is healthy if you are able to do it a small amount of times, in moderation. I got frustrated last Sunday so on Monday and Tuesday I lapsed and masturbated excessively, even without the use of porn. I did not feel good afterwards and i was lucky that my wife did not demand sex from me.

Yes, not masturbating at all is incredibly hard and would feel like an utterly useless practice to me if I was single.

Yes, this forum sucks you in and a lot of people talk a lot of BS here. But such is social media. it is addictive.
I often wonder why I bother to write on this forum. This is just replacing one stupid addiction with another.

 

I agree, it works better if you don't think about it. The forums make you think about masturbation etc. The forum can be ok if you think about masturbation anyway. But it is better to do a job, do training or socialise. then you just have to think about something else.

 

I think most of the comments here are really about poor time management. I think this is a great community and a lot of the value I get is in high quality private messages. If you want to avoid silliness and drama, avoid the off-topic section. Above all, use your time here judiciously. If you have got what you need here for the day or the week, turn it off. Those who cannot might consider they have an internet addiction. But that is hardly the fault of this website. Own your issues.

 

I use this forum as a journal 90% of the time. I am too consumed by my own journal.

 

I recommend using the "ignore" function, and also "unwatch thread".

 

yeah, I try to do less on the forum and focus on my journal. That is quite helpful. But then I have those urges to give my 2 cents to what complete strangers are writing.

 

Replace forum time with outdoor exercise or going to the gym? Or something else thats healthy. Cooking for family / friends. Volunteer work. I dunno. Something that will make you feel appreciated and allows you to make contact with other people.

 

I can relate to this, a couple of weeks ago I ended up in a long back and forth over the nature of incels where noone learnt anything from anyone and all it did was annoy me and put me off wanting to comment on stuff that wasn't directly related to the purpose of the forum. But then on the flip-side talking about PMO addiction can be bothersome too because while you do get people who are consistently helpful and talk sense, you also get a lot of people who frankly come across as being a bit too zealous and some who are just irritating to engage with for whatever reason. I'm all for discussion of course but it can be a trial trying to get advice on here when a lot of it is so misguided and hard to give it because saying something "out of line" causes arguments.

As for the masturbation thing, I think thats the elephant in the room over here on the forums. NoFap as an entity never actually says to give up masturbation completely, it merely talks about doing it temporarily to overcome an addiction to porn. Now I dont doubt for a second that some people are in fact addicted to masturbation and not porn, I've seen people on here who dont watch porn and never have, but still masturbate compulsively. What gets me is usually when you try to suggest that masturbating isn't the problem for a lot of people, and that the act in and of itself maybe isn't all that harmful, or hell, even try to talk about it not taking a side, you get flooded with pseudo-science and arguments based in spiritual/religious logic and not actual fact. This is without saying that things are different for each person, and one size does not fit all when it comes to overcoming an addiction of any kind.

Overall I would advise you stick to a journal and be selective with what you comment on, thats what I did and I enjoy my time here and feel more productive as a result.