Addicted but didn't want to admit it but now looking for help.

Reflect more on what impact the behavior has on your life you sound like some one observing some other persons life. Sorry for being blunt – I feel that is the partially the help you need. I know inside of you alarm bells are ringing find out what it means for you to describe your self as addicted. This branding can not be a excuse to act out it explains why and also why to change find that why because you seem to manage your life with P well you get around – but you feel not having full control and thing that it might be wrong in some way – the more extreme stuff … brother get real with your self … you started self awareness it is so worth to do it but it will hurt.

And learn more about addiction and try to find the connection inside of you . Welcome

 

Welcome to NoFap @Falkirk_guy
I understand you. I did the same things you are describing during 25 days of marriage, waiting for my wife to leave, or even com8ng back home earlier knowing that I will be alone to “enjoy myself for hours”.imused to lie her, telling her that I stayed at home to concentrate better n my job, but of course I was watching P, looking to nude models, hiring escorts or booking up online.
I was totally out of control, and this almost ruined my life and marriage.

It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.
To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
Let's keep on fighting

Fercho