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Why do I want to stop using porn?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by xtremity, Dec 3, 2018.

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  1. Dec 3, 2018 #1
    xtremity

    xtremity Fapstronaut

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    I have always detested myself using porn. But there are weak moments where I tell myself that it is no big deal, especially in private.

    On reflection, using porn is totally at odds with who I believe I am. I would like to believe that I am a respectful gentleman. Integrity is a very important value to me.

    Some behavior in porno is just at the borderline of being (dis)respectful. Watching such pornos makes me feel guilty. I wish I could do something to rescue those men and women out of porno industry. (Admittedly, it is my own bias. My bias is no one would like to do porno if they have something "better" to do. In the meanwhile, I am aware that some men and women choose to do it as if it is a normal profession.) I cannot justify why I would enjoy watching such disrespectful acts. My consumption perpetuates their dilemma and even fuels the growth of porno industry. I then call my own integrity into question. Next thing going to happen is I start to accuse myself of being a hypocrite.

    No wonder why porn addition and depression are positively correlated. The feeling of guilt, shame and dishonesty often gives rise to depressive episodes.

    There are many other reasons one should stop using porn. For me, I want to have my integrity back. I do not want to be angry with myself constantly and even hate myself. A better relationship with myself is all I ask for.

    Why do you choose to stop using porn?
     
    xtremity, Dec 3, 2018
    xtremity, Dec 3, 2018
    #1
    tiredofdoingthis and dr. poopie doopie like this.
  2. Dec 3, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I suffer from depression but never had any feelings of guilt or shame towards watching porn.

    That being said, I stop watching clips if I get the feeling that a model was abused for filming this. I share your ethical concerns. However, how many of the products we use and consume are being made in sweatshops and are contributing to pollution? That is just as unethical. It doesn't matter whether sex is involved or not, exploitation is exploitation.

    I want to get rid of my porn habits because i realised it takes up to much time and makes it harder for me to fulfil my marital duties.
     
    Deleted Account, Dec 3, 2018
    Deleted Account, Dec 3, 2018
    #2
  3. Dec 3, 2018 #3
    Determined_to_Succeed

    Determined_to_Succeed Fapstronaut

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    Because it reinforces the awful feelings I have about myself, the self talk put-downs. It helps weaken my self confidence. It is a symptom of the bad feelings and self talk put-downs. The two are circular. I am not going to physically survive if I don't get a handle on this cycle and actually break it. Right now I am diagnosed with 4th stage cancer, so every health producing thing I can do will assist in the healing process. It is imperative that I have hope, and doing porn destroys hope for me.
     
    Determined_to_Succeed, Dec 3, 2018
    Determined_to_Succeed, Dec 3, 2018
    #3
  4. Dec 3, 2018 #4
    xtremity

    xtremity Fapstronaut

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    Buddy, I feel for you. I am dealing with my own depression too. If it is of any help to you, this picture book called My Depression by Elizabeth Swados is such a delight to read. Surprisingly, I can relate myself to many points she made in her book. I felt being understood and supported. Yes, there is an upbeat feeling after I have finishing it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
    xtremity, Dec 3, 2018
    xtremity, Dec 3, 2018
    #4
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Dec 3, 2018 #5
    xtremity

    xtremity Fapstronaut

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    You made an excellent point about the vicious cycle and circular feature of using porno. The more porno one uses, the worse one feels about his or herself; the worse one feels about his or herself, the less strident moral standard one holds oneself to; the less strident moral standard one holds oneself to, the more easily one turns to porno for instant gratification.

    I am very sorry to hear about your illness. Will keep you in my thoughts. Stay strong and committed to the road to recovery, shall we?
     
    xtremity, Dec 3, 2018
    xtremity, Dec 3, 2018
    #5
  6. Dec 5, 2018 #6
    Determined_to_Succeed

    Determined_to_Succeed Fapstronaut

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    I fully intend to. I have to admit, I used the illness as an excuse. "Oh, poor baby, just keep on using porn. It will make you feel better!" A lie. Indeed, I used porn, and it really, really hurt my self confidence, and self esteem. I have recently decided (yesterday) that I need to take this in baby steps. I know what nofap says about complete stoppage in order to heal. And maybe my addict brain is just coming up with a new one. But somehow, I need to figure out how to effectively draw the line on certain behaviors. That main behavior that I am talking about is using porn. So here it is, I am no longer taking on masturbation. I am not saying it is great, or that it is bad, or anything in between. I am saying that compared to what porn does to me, it is minimal. So I am giving up porn in all forms, including Psubs, which I use a lot. It also includes, although I haven't used them for awhile, written porn stories.
    The other thing to draw the line on is the really depressing self talk. I know that it is hooked into the porn use big time, both as a causative agent and a consequence.
    #xtremity are you up for a PM?
     
    Determined_to_Succeed, Dec 5, 2018
    Determined_to_Succeed, Dec 5, 2018
    #6
    xtremity likes this.

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