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My journey to overcome "Porn Addiction"

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by md70, Dec 5, 2018.

  1. md70

    md70 Fapstronaut

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    Hey folks
    i'm on day 46 without PMO and currently having bad symptoms. very severe insomnia (some nights i dont sleep at all and next day i dont feel sleepy!!! is this even possible?!) very low energy and appetite, depression, absolutely no libido (i literally forget how erections were and my penis seems to not exist anymore!!) sometimes i feel very cold and sometimes very hot, my heart frequently skip a beat which made me to see a doctor who told me these ectopic beats are not serious and are not going to kill you but i think since i quite PMO they become very very bad and more frequent. i had an echocardiogram three years ago and my heart was fine.

    anyways, these 46 days were like living Hell to me and i see no glimpse of hope and everyday feels worse.

    BTW, i was a porn addict since 2007 (when i was 15), i managed to quite PMO for 21 months from 2009 to 2011 after a severe anxiety and depression episode and i felt really good but i relapsed since then and my problems gradually begun 3-4 years later in 2014-2015. Since 2015 because my health decline got far worse i've tried like thousands times to quite this goddamn thing with no luck so far. Once i did it for 3 months and relapsed and one more time for 2 months but relapsed after a wet dream! Darn it!!
    my main problem is Porn, not masturbation or urges to have orgasm, i masturbate because i watch porn not because i'm horny! if i don't watch porn i can easily stay away from MO for years! so that's my problem.
    This time i'm serious, i've trashed my 200GB porn archive and i really want to change my life forever. because this time i really feel sick and drained like a 90 years old man waiting for his death to come.

    Edit I: i relapsed once again after 56 days (Sigh), dang it! but i won't give up, trust me i will defeat u "pornography", no matter how strong u are, because i'll be stronger!!
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2019
  2. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Withdrawal symptoms tells you that you're healing. I know they're terrible, really terrible, just hang on and the storm will fade away.
     
  3. md70

    md70 Fapstronaut

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    yeah thanks, but i dont know how long takes to see some improvement, i see some people still struggle with these symptoms after months of nofap and those people make me think that i have a long road ahead of me.
     
  4. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Not going to tell you lies, yes, it is possible, for me it has been a nightmare for most of the time.
    It depends, some heal after 100 days or before, others need a year or more to heal.

    Anyway, what's the difference? 5 months more, or 5 months less does not make any difference if you're stopping porn for life.
     
  5. MSTie

    MSTie Fapstronaut

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    Interesting. I have a slightly longer period of addiction to you (started at 13 back in 2005) and my withdrawal symptoms during reboots are crazy.

    Like you I have sleepless nights, which only make it harder to resist urges, muscular tension and involuntary twitches. I'm even convinced that my body hurts more than when I'm PMOing -- the only difference being a lack of mental/physical fatigue.

    If more than one of us is experiencing these symptoms, it leads me to believe it's a normal part of rebooting and demonstrates that our bodies need time to heal. Here's hoping we both make it!
     
  6. md70

    md70 Fapstronaut

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    yeah yeah, i forgot to tell i have a lot of muscle twitch all over my body especially in chest area.
    very hard to believe these are all withdrawal symptoms but like u said when we share our symptoms with each other it will be much easier to believe that we are actually healing.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. md70

    md70 Fapstronaut

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    has anybody tried melatonin for nofap induced insomnia??

    BTW i've got Magnesium/Taurin and Q10 supplements recently and i'm gonna give them a try and see whether it helps or not
     
    Fallensoldier1 likes this.
  8. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    It is exactly like that, there are a lot of thread in this forum about withdrawals etc.

    The problem here is that a lot of youtubers who needs views spread a lot of bullshit a bout nofap, things like superpowers and unbelievable achievements in life with nofap. Unfortunately that's bullshit, most of people in nofap goes through a hard period of withdrawals, and real healing need more than a year to set in.
    Obviously if you tell someone that he needs a year on nofap, they won't follow your youtube channels, especially young guys.

    The chinese comunity of nofap, for example, is a lot more real and trustworthy, they know you need a year, at minimum, to heal.


    Anyway, carry on guys, that is the right path.
     
  9. Well said mate, the nofap propaganda would be approved by Joseph Goebbels!

    If I were you i would not mess with melatonin pills, instead buy an uvex blue light blocking glasses(skyper). Wear them 3-4 hours before going in bed, and do not watch any blue light source in your bed before sleep. Cheaper, safer, better.

    You can try some magnesium, but do not expect big miracle from that, but one thing is sure. Your body in panic mode, so you will become magnesium deficient. Good idea to supplement some. If your digestion become messed up then you can try some pancreatic enzym formulas to help digestion. Anyway I would be careful with supplements, they sell everything for us from unknow source.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2019
    md70 likes this.
  10. 14 months and still having withdrawals/flatline....
     
  11. md70

    md70 Fapstronaut

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    wow this is kind of scary and disappointing :oops::oops:
    sometimes i think we should't just start no PMO and wait until our body repair itself, maybe we have to do something, maybe we should help our body to recover faster by exercising more, going out seeing friends, taking supplements and most importantly replace our good old PMO with something else, something that we can enjoy it but not as easy as watching internet porn, something that we have to put a lot effort to accomplish. i think our brains got lazy and just look for cheap pleasures like playing video games, listening to the music, eating junk food or sitting down watching a movie.
     
  12. Well said. You got everything to win, wisdom. If you got patiance too, then you do not need to worry.
     
    md70 likes this.
  13. md70

    md70 Fapstronaut

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    has anybody experienced frequent cold hand and feet and super sensitive to coldness after hitting flatline???
     
    Deleted Account and SLeepisLost like this.
  14. I am on 105 day and some if my withdrawal symptoms have intensified. Frustrating? Yes. Scary? Yes! Worth it? Yes. Short term pain for long term pain. You can do this.
     
    Colin75, Fallensoldier1 and md70 like this.
  15. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I have super cold hands, but i probably always had cold hands.
     
    md70 likes this.
  16. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    Very very similar here. I have been there, and sooo many more symptoms. Keep going man, it gets better. It’s still hard sometimes, but much much better than the beginning.
     
    Deleted Account and md70 like this.
  17. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    How did the magnesium work out for you? I take some liquid magnesium many times at night before bed
     
  18. md70

    md70 Fapstronaut

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    i take a 350mg tablet each day after meal, it is good i think my muscle twitching and palpitations got a little better, but anxiety, insomnia and depression are still here.

    i was drained for years but porn addiction forced me to masturbate even when i was weak, tired or had zero libido!, many people in this forum masturbate a lot because they are super horny but i was masturbating because i was a porn addict so i think i'm the kind that would stay in flatline and PAWS for at least 6 months or even a year (if not forever!:(:() so there is probably a long long road ahead of me

    i 'm not sure if Antidepressant drugs would be helpful to me, i'm trying to stay away from meds and go through it naturally
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2018
  19. Gota

    Gota Fapstronaut

    Withdrawals from PMO are hard to identify, they overlap with symptoms of overall nervous system dysfunction and dysfunction might be the consequence of excessive porn use/masturbation. I'm almost 17 months 'hardmode', still feel so called withdrawals symptoms, but they tend to get weaker. I didn't had orgasm or wet dreams during all these months, but used to get semen leakage during my first year of reboot. Then it stopped and last week I started to get it again (after urinating). Interestingly such symptoms as muscle tension (especially jaw tension) and muscle pains resumed. I guess it might be somehow related. I also noticed a weak muscle twitch in the eye area. You mentioned cold hands/feet. I get this frequently, especially when I experience stress. Libido is still non-existant, but maybe this is because I'm taking antidepressants. Sleep is normal.
     
    Deleted Account, im_broken and md70 like this.
  20. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I got that a lot.
     
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