Established Personal Goals after Quitting Porn

I thought that without porn, days like today would not happen. I'm tired and a little anxious. One feeling that seems to permeate the fog of the past two weeks is the need to do something to improve myself. Maybe, I'll make a new friend or something. I want to take a girl out on a date sometime before next May. It has been a while since I dated anyone. I don't think that I'm terrible at dating; perhaps, just too picky.

 

1. 76 days without porn.
2. 39 days without PMO
3. Have not yet tried alcohol, drug, or tobacco
4.Working really hard to build the bridge between my family and I. Having a tough time, but I am learning to love my family more each day.
5. I had a really good Sunday as a church leader. Worked with youth, a homeless person, and spoke with one of my teachers. Getting ready to write a paper about preaching!
6. I am learning that I do not do terrible at talking to women. My struggle is more within, at least on days like today. I worry about what the girl thinks about me, but hey, I can't control that! I am learning to give it my best.
7. Definitely still growing more comfortable with myself.
8. God has spoken to me today. I do not know how I will get through this week, but God is showing me that with Him, it is possible. God loves us so much, and we fail to see that about Him. Seriously, does anyone ever think that God really focuses on us? God really does take the time to not only think about me, but invest in my life. To God, I am special. He knows how many hairs are on my head! We may never understand how much God really loves us!

 

Update: I seem to be having more of these dreary days here lately. I want to be a blessing on others, but it is so tough to even perceive how others are blessing me. They are, and they care deeply about me. I just want to grow closer to God and help others.

My pastor told me that being in ministry feels like you are disappointing everybody. That is so true. How must Jesus have felt when He healed ten lepers and only one thanked Him in Luke 17:11-19!?

 

1. 94 days without porn.
2. 57 without PMO
3. Have not yet tried alcohol, drug, or tobacco
4.Getting ready to visit home tomorrow.
5. I had a really good Wednesday evening as a church leader. Worked with some elementary aged kids!
6. I can't believe how far I am going with talking to women. The progress is real. I think one of these times, I will be able to post that I went on a date!
7. Definitely still growing more comfortable with myself.
8. God is working in my life. I tell you what, it seems that I focus more on girls than God. Let's change that by the next time I post on here!

 

Yeah, never be afraid to ask the prettiest girl out lol. I love it!

Makes since. I feel cynical about it sometimes, but that is so right. Think, how much does Christ love the church? Surely, I can love His sheep in return.

You're welcome. I appreciate your posts on here. I really wish I could be as vulnerable in the real world. I am as much as I possibly can be. I've probably missed out on some things because of service to others. As messed up as it is, I have missed opportunities because I don't put up charades like the cads that get good jobs at my university. I'm a genuine person who genuinely likes genuineness! Honestly, what's a few hundred dollars? I'll never miss it, but I would miss the ministry opportunities that I am availed in the church where I work. I could go on, but I digress...

Number 8 is the most important one on there. I think you mean #6. Let me clarify.

The sin that I am trying to quit with this site's help is PMO. And it's working. There is another problem that I have, partially as a result of PMO and partially as a result of a shielded/borderline abusive upbringing. I wasn't allowed to socialize, let alone date until I was 18. Probably, it resulted in my PMO problem. At any rate, I'm not privileged to know much about how to communicate effectively with women. I've seen a counselor for what he called "social anxiety." I'm not sure if he got that right or not, because I don't have bad genes or anything. It's a nurture issue rather than a nature issue, for me. Again, I digress...

Number 6 is important because I need support with building a relationship with a woman, even from the most foundational level of talking with and meeting women to even building a friendship.

If you did mean #8, I think I was a bit confusing in how I worded my most recent post. So sorry! I thought you were referencing my original list, where #8 is "Grow closer to God." My aim is legitimately to continue the process of rebooting my brain. I'm just being honest in that I think about God less than women. Even when I pray, I'm praying for my future wife and that He continues to deliver me from PMO and lust. I realize that He is more important, so He really should be the King of my heart. Sorry for the mix-up! Lol, have a great day, bro!

 

Oh, sorry! I didn't notice haha!

My mistake, too! I worded that a little awkwardly, probably because I was tired. There probably shouldn't be a hierarchy of love. Such a thing is a construct of people, at least to some extent.

Your viewpoint is interesting. Could you expand on this?

Yes ma'am! I would be very lucky to find a funny girl!! A nice, funny, Christian girl...

As for withdrawal, actually I do not think that is what I am experiencing. My thoughts when I was using porn were virtually ruled by lust. As I get farther away from it, I am capable of focusing more on God and human relationships. I still have a ways to go!

God bless you too, my sister! I like stories, too. Sorry to hear that your mother had to endure that kind of upbringing. I assure you she is very blessed to be able to turn her suffering into strength, and commend her for it! Thank you so much for your encouragement!

 

It is so sad that I have to make a post like this. I dread having to post this, but I sincerely hope and pray that someone is encouraged by 4, 5, and 8 at least.

1. 0 days without porn
2. 0 days without PMO
3. Tempted to try alcohol. Had a relative die from tobacco, so it's not a temptation.
4. Talked to my Mom and Dad today by phone. Both were good conversations. A couple of recent tragedies brought us closer together.
5. I'm talking with my pastor about ordination. Things are looking good
6. I can't win for losing with talking to girls. I message them. Sometimes they message back. Sometimes they want to hang out. I went to hang out with a girl I liked this week and she spent her time with another guy. Another girl asked me to hang out, so I did, and then she spend her time with another guy and some other girls, also. Both, for the most part, ignored me. One of their guy friends actually wound up talking to me more than anyone, that day.
7. I'm growing more comfortable with myself, though I can't really prove it.
8. I visited my old dorm. I cried. I talked to God, and He showed up. He has been speaking to me, today, even though I relapsed. He forgives me seven times seventy, like I could not imagine. He also comforts me in my hurt with rejection. He is giving me hope that He has the right helpmeet for me.

 

Thanks for the encouragement @pp7711

 

1. 10 days without Pornography. Back in the saddle
2. 10 days without PMO!
3. I had lunch with a man who was vaping a few days ago, and it did not tempt me. I rather enjoyed meeting the nice guy! I also enjoyed the rest of the after-church company. I pray that I was an encouragement to him in some way, as he is a friend of mine's brother.
4. Growing closer to my family. So apparently Mom has returned to calling me a childhood nickname. We are moving along well after several recent tragedies.
5. Growing as church leader. Worked a heck of an event this past week and thin did work on the side for my pastor. We are growing closer, praise the Lord!
6. Social anxiety is improving. The girl I like is hinting around that she likes me, too.
7. Definitely more comfortable with myself and who I am. I will say this, though. I am drowning myself in coffee and sleeping pills. I guess those are the things most redeemed addicts turn to, at least for a season. It is surprising how quitting PMO can cause trouble with sleep and staying awake.
8. I had a good prayer a couple nights ago. I even went on a personal prayer walk outside my church. I'm asking God for a sign. We'll see how that goes. I'm starting to realize how posting things on here reveals the upward direction of life for me. Things are really getting better

 

1 & 2. 9 days of hard mode!
3. Honestly, tobacco and vape aren't enticing me right now. I had some temptation to drink, recently, but turned it down.
4. Growing closer to my family. Time to go Christmas shopping, I suppose.
5. Growing as church leader. Ordination is right around the corner!
6. Social anxiety is improving. Something interesting happened in class, last night. I had to preach, almost impromptu. I looked at my professor, smiled, and told him that I liked it!
7. Definitely more comfortable with myself and who I am. I will say this, though. I'm still drowning myself in coffee. I guess I need to work on that.
8. I'm praying for God to make me the man that He wants me to be. Finals are tough, but I'm making time for God. I have too, He's the reason I'm studying to be a minister.

 

Thanks so much. It is great to hear a different perspective than what others have given. Yours sounds like the type of marriage that I'm aiming for. I want her to be my best friend, which is why I've shifted my view from "learning to make the move" to "pray for God to make me the man He wants me to be." I have learned that having a positive attitude and making the move work. These lessons in overcoming social anxiety have transformed me, and I'm actually kind of surprised how much I have been able to learn in just a couple years. It is now time to learn what my relationship with God is all about. Recently, I have told Him that my faith is thin and that I can't be the man He wants me to be unless if He makes me that man. He said, in return (not verbally), "I knew your faith was thin. I can do more with you now that you know it." God knows all things, and truly He has been so good to me!