Confused.

Definitely not.

Lots of people here return to masturbation when they have rebooted and there are very few who plan to abstain from orgasm forever (there are a few though). Most of us want to free our lives from porn and are using a period of abstenence as the route to success. That can mean giving up porn alone (easy mode), porn and masturbation (normal mode), or all porn, masturbation, and orgasms (hard mode). The idea is to do this for a period of time (90 or 180 days are popular choices) and then see if you are where you wanted to get to.

Some of us find that the no-masturbation rule becomes important to them. That's where I'm at. I do not think masturbation is wrong, I think it's fun and healthy, but it is problematic for me as it draws me back to porn. I'm determined to stay porn free forever.

Does that help explain things? There's more infor on the about page: https://www.nofap.com/about

 

Yes, definitely. I cannot claim any of the crazy super-pwers you see people claiming sometimes but there are a couple of results that have made a real difference. The first is that I am no longer a hypocrite. I've always known porn was wrong but I used it anyway. Right from the start of my current streak I started to feel better about myself because I was striving to be a better man, not a hypocrite. The other thing is that as this streak has continued I have had to face and deal with all sorts of things, mostly the reasons why I was so hooked on porn. Facing these things and working on them has made me a much better husband and person in general. I LOVE that feeling.

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but it took me a very long time before I had a day without being sorely tempted to watch porn, and even afer I'd shaken that daily anxiety I still had a few very difficult patches (usually when I was travelling on business) after 450 and 550 days porn-free. I know you don't like day-counting but I'm 797 days porn free now and that feels amazing. I have not been on a business trip in a while though, but I'm hopeful I have enough resolve and techniques that even if I am tempted I will cope.

ME too - UK.

 

A good discussion.

You asked about taking control of a behaviour you do not like and how this makes you feel. I can testify that abstaining from p does make you feel better.

There is so much good advice and support on this forum, you just have to sift through and find what is pertinent to you.

I see this site as one of a few tools in my toolkit for improving my life and moving away from p use. I write a diary and try to keep busy in other ways.

This may sound very basic but the biggest factor in making an improvement is quite simply determination. Sometimes you have to go through bad times to know that you need to change something. I've had my bad times and do not want to go back to that. P was definitely an ingredient in my bad times. I see p as a root cause and want to kill the roots.

The early days are the hardest but you just have to dig deep. I simply focus on one day at a time.

I do not miss:
- The immediate self loathing and feeling of despair that would wash over me the moment I had experienced o while sitting in front on my screen.

- The fact that I knew it was not doing me any good but I had no control over it.

- The way it was limiting my ability to develop relationships with women.

- The feeling of disgust as I clean up after mo in bed.

I did all that for long enough. I want to behave differently and enjoy finding out what potential I do have.

Fight, fight and fight some more.

 

Nice to see all the healthy answers to this thread! Fine discussion!

For me it’s about stepping out of the messy P swamp and redirecting my sexual energy towards my SO, as it is supposed to be according to my own true morals and standard.

Best of wishes mate!

 

And to add: I don’t regret doing this journey for a second!

 

I agree with your view, sometimes you read success stories just about reaching a number of days, or becoming an asexuated monk, or about not watching girls.
I don't think these are the goals by themselves, if those were the goals it would be better to just watch porn and masturbate.
The success stories about nofap are for a 90% stories of pumped up teenagers who did 30 days and just got an ego pump by some stupid youtubers making them think they will get superpowers.

You have to concentrate in the 10% of the success stories, look for stories of people who did at least a year, and, no offense to younger guys, who are more than 23 years old at least.

 

Hey Bud thanks for the post. I completely agree with you. I recently had to take a break from here. Just came back now. Everyone here has a porn addiction they're not proud of but at least we can talk about it with someone who can relate. Feel free to pm me anytime u need someone to talk to

 

Well firstly I will say this all porn fetishes will disappear when you abstain . How long ? Its different for all ,some men after 2 months some men after year.
Leaving porn will NOT resolve all your problems in life yes you are gonna get rid off fetishes and you'r normal tastes will come . But waiting for 5 months and waiting to get back to will not work .Getting back to you'r normal life will need more time and more will.Leaving porn will open door for you to a new life. But getting back to it its you'r job.I would suggest watching this video
this about ways how to leave porn and start living.It needs more work then just year without porn to get back on that normal life track.
But leaving porn is the first step of living better life.
And second thing there is no superpower about leaving porn.Its just normal things how people need to feel and yes you are gonna feel great .You don't hear heroine addict saying oh shit I left heroine I have super powers.

 

It definitely improved my social anxiety. I tend to fap whenever i feel sad / lonely / rejected. At some point i was into beastiality and some other weird fetishes, fapping 4-6 times a day. Nofap made me a much happier and confident person overall, although i still relapse occasionally.

You really need to set yourself some kind of goal though, like asking out a girl on a date or anything that you're looking accomplish. It becomes much easier.

The biggest change for me was going from a complete lack in interest in people to actually wanting to make contact.

Anyway, the only way to find out if nofap will benefit you is to try it out. Start with 2 weeks and decide from there.