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I'm sure my story is the worst

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by XosamaX, Dec 9, 2018.

  1. Dec 9, 2018 #1
    XosamaX

    XosamaX Fapstronaut

    25
    9
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    I really do not want to tell the story in detail , because i am already still in the hole , not like a success man .
    7 years of very bad addiction
    I have a large curvature in my back and tightness in the lungs for 7 years , it feels hard to breath . I went to alot of doctors but i still didn't know how I fix it . it always hurts
    no friends .. no family ,, no one to love ,, always alone ( i am a foreign student )
    i fast this year more than 4 months ,, because to not feel stress or anxiety in front of peoples in university , i had stuttering , and stop eating food make me a little Quiet with people . If i had breakfast in a day of my life , i will be like crazy in that day ,, long fast is really hard especially if you are alone ,
    i usually take 2 very clod shower in one day ,, to be more quite and to less stress ,
    i masturbation with porn very much , i cannot stop that ,, i feel i medicate my problems when i use pornography ,
    My productivity is zero
    in past I did nofap 8 months , 4 months, 3 months , 5 months , intermittently . with feeling good and bad at one time
    but now i am using porn Horribly .
    I am tired of the many plans I make , and i get bored from this circle ,,
    i always be sure 100% of my last plan , but then i lose and be upset .
    I had a very big goals and dreams in my life , i cannot move
    i am 20 years old . please i just want to find a KEY ! ,, I lost a lot of time !
     
    XosamaX, Dec 9, 2018
    XosamaX, Dec 9, 2018
    #1
  2. Dec 9, 2018 #2
    ras-tanura

    ras-tanura Fapstronaut

    159
    409
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    We're all in the hole. I don't want to scare you about my more worse situation in which I was PMO-ing for 16 years, up to the point when I almost made a sexual advance against my own cousin 15 years ago!

    The problem isn't making plans, and successful people don't make plans they follow 100%, success is getting back up when everything else is pushing you down. You said you are making 'many' plans. Remember this, you are rushing to everything, rushing to thinking worst case scenarios about yourself, rushing to make to do lists.

    Do you even schedule days off, or long breaks? I doubt! Your guilt is causing you to make more tasks. The KEY is:
    1- Don't worry if you fall, worry if you lose hope!
    2- remove your to do lists... 1 task per day only for now. That's the way to get things done!
     
    ras-tanura, Dec 9, 2018
    ras-tanura, Dec 9, 2018
    #2
    PedroCalrissian, Tryingto and XosamaX like this.
  3. Dec 9, 2018 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    hi there , since you have been seing by many doctors , i think that your pain is due to stress and anxiety which are complicated and aggravated by PMO , fasting is a very good solution but you should associate other healthy activities like gym , socializing with people and also trying to learn new skills
    changing your environemment could be helpful , it does not requires big changes , sometimes changing only your room decor
     
    Deleted Account, Dec 9, 2018
    Deleted Account, Dec 9, 2018
    #3

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