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Why you started watching Porn?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by iceman40, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. iceman40

    iceman40 Fapstronaut

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    I have became addicted to porn to fulfill and void in myself. It dates to when I was young and the lack of acceptance by the school kids. They treated me differently because initially I did not know English, was poor and bought all of my cloth from a 2nd hand store, and my family did not fit in. I channeled my hurt through anger.
    Ever since I was a young boy, 10, I wanted a girl friend. But life did not gave me the warmth of a woman until I was 18.
    At the age of 13 I found pornography and this filled the void in my heart. When the cute girl who I had a crush on rejected me numerous times, I was hurt and lonely. Viewing images of women in the magazines gave me a feeling of being wanted by that woman on the image, even though it was only an image.
    I know that in order for me to break this addiction, I must acknowledge my past and accept it.

    Like to know why others got addicted to porn?
     
  2. livinglavidanofap

    livinglavidanofap Fapstronaut

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    i think i started watching porn because i was always shy and quiet, and i had terrible anxiety around girls, i would not be able to function around a girl and if it was a pretty girl my brain would just fry itself on the spot,

    i didn't know how to over come my fear of talking with girls and being around them, but i loved them so much, so i turned to pornography i guess

    at the time you didn't realize what you were actually doing and i was always an ace with the computers and procuring information on the world wide web tubes

    i eventually overcame my fear of the ladies through the use of alcohol and marijuana, and i even married a beautiful woman, but my dark habit lurked in the shadows throughout, without my being really aware of what it was doing to me.

    now i am here, on the brink of divorce, separated and finally, thank god, taking responsibility for my life and RAPIDLY moving toward Optimal Health and Performance.

    so i'm excited, i don't really have any negative feelings about anything my mind is mostly focused on the healthy and robust living experience i will have created within the next 6 months.

    i'm slowly notching victories on my totem pole and every day i preserve my sexual energy and work toward channeling it toward study, exercise and healthy living, i become stronger and more able to succeed in life the way i always knew i could.

    this forum has been therapeutic and it makes me feel better that i am not the only one out there that has made this mistake, that has suffered with it.

    i can't stress how optimistic my spirits are, because i feel as if i have discovered the missing link in my life, the channeling of my sexual energy toward creating and achieving,

    it's one of those moments where ;you say, "how the hell could not i have thought about this sooner????"

    but now it's here, the dawn of my personal golden age
     
  3. EdwardVIII

    EdwardVIII Fapstronaut

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    I started watching porn at an early age also. I was bullied in elementary and middle school so badly that I had suicidal thoughts, not of actually offing myself but more like that it would be better if I were dead. I didn't really begin to fit in until the end of high school when I became friends with the kid everybody wanted to know. I am so thankful for him and a high school teacher for saving me. Having no real friends during my early teens I escaped into a fantasy world of porn. I was an overweight kid and dreamt of being able to do the things I saw with those women while looking like one of those buff athletic guys. Now I'm trying to turn my life around, lose the porn and the weight. My small term weight loss goal is to lose my 6yo selfs 45lbs. I'm hoping that the built up testosterone will help me lose a small amount of weight(it won't be the miracle cure but maybe a start). That's my story of how I started watching porn.
     
  4. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    I don't know. Porn has been with me since I was interested in girls in the first place. But I always felt the need to escape from something.
     
  5. skart

    skart Guest

    To substitute sex and to escape reality.
     
  6. Chris1052

    Chris1052 Fapstronaut

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    I started when I was pretty young, I don't exactly remember when I started but I do remember I absolutely loved how it made me feel. I got a girlfriend in 7th grade and we were always sending each other pictures and videos and that's probably what started it as a habit. I've never really had good luck with girls, never been able to talk to them easily or been able to get them to like me, I was single through most of high school and still am. Fapping and watching porn has been a kind of escape for me, in the moment of PMO i'm not thinking about my loneliness or rejection, but then afterwards those feelings will hit a lot of times.
     
  7. udkmyname

    udkmyname New Fapstronaut

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    To escape. I was afraid of having sex (past sexual abuse issues) but needed something of the sort to fill the gap. It backfired in the long run though since it affected my desire and ability to really express myself with real women.
     
  8. Thanatos

    Thanatos Fapstronaut

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    My girlfriend at the time said "oh you should watch it, all guy's do it."
    :( and I was like what the hell... that was 7 years ago, but it didn't get really bad until the 4 year mark.
    Also I had seen porn before this, but I thought it was weird and never got into it until I was with that chick.
    I attribute my continuation of porn addiction to the emotional negativity from being circumcised and since I've been letting that go everything to do with sexuality is easier now. Before I didn't have the emotional strength to quit and now that I'm restoring I do.
     
  9. GreatScott!

    GreatScott! Fapstronaut

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    I didn't discover pn until I was about 14 or 15 years old. When I discovered mb I was about 11, and I used it excessively to escape from reality, to make myself feel good because I was feeling so bad about myself.

    I was always shy and quiet around other kids. I was bullied in elementary school. I never fit in with the local kids, I was dressed differently (my mother is German), brought my lunch to school every day in the same brown paper bag that I had to use over and over again until it fell apart. I didn't even get to have a snazzy lunch box with some superhero on it! I compensated then by concentrating on learning, and always got excellent grades and was the smartest in every class. I remember I got spanked in class in front of the other children for talking, once in Kindergarten and once in 3rd grade. So so very very humiliating. So that's when I began to build walls, began to hate people, didn't trust others, didn't like other kids, couldn't relate to them. The worst thing was, I couldn't, or didn't communicate my feelings to others, to my family, to my mother. My fault. I took out my pain and anger on my younger brother, poor guy. I did like girls, and wanted a girlfriend, but already my self-esteem was so low I couldn't do anything about it.
     
  10. RiseAbove

    RiseAbove Fapstronaut

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    I started watching porn when I was about 11. But my problem with porn and masturbation appeared when I was 16 and I have spent nearly 2 months in hospital without seeing practically anyone except my parents and hospital service. Then I came to the conclusion that all my friendships were superficial and I couldn't count on anyone but me. Porn was back then a way to deal with my difficult emotions and loneliness.
     
  11. SUMIT SAINI

    SUMIT SAINI New Fapstronaut

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    i loved it and still do. A lot
     
  12. BlueOxide

    BlueOxide Fapstronaut

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    Now, to answer the thread I must say that I started watching porn with a friend back when I was a 3rd grader. We initially wanted to play World of Warcraft but an error intervened and so he decided to show me some porn just so that I wouldn't feel mad for coming to his crib for no reason. And that's it. I started "researching" from then and it all stopped a few days ago when a friend introduced me to this awesome forum and site. Cheers.
     
  13. NotAfraid

    NotAfraid Fapstronaut

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    I stumbled upon my fathers porn stash when I was just a little kid. I knew that it was wrong in some way, but I was just too damn curious. At some point all my friends watched porn and I did too, because it was awesome. In the class we often talked about our favorite porn stars and porn categories. I believed that it was healthy and normal. How stupid was I.

    Also, porn was much easier than trying to seduce a girl, because I didn't know shit about it.
     
  14. karla

    karla Guest

    I had a conservative religious upbringing and as far as I can recall anything remotely related to sex was taboo and heresy.
    I did not encounter porn untill I left home for college, meanwhile I started experimenting with M as an 13 year old. But It was in college when I was living on my own and days were long and jacking off to porn helped me relax. Then the situation got worse every passing day I started doing M for hours straightaway, cutting classes, collapsing grades didn't bothered me.

    I successfuly persuaded myself that everything was under control and this lifestyle is normal and the grades doesn't matter at all. Except, to find that how wrong I was right from the begining.

    Then PMO coupled with procrastination led to ultimate figurative slap on my face ( ashamed of elaborating this incident). I went hostile and sought refuge in denial and risky behaviour. I cut ties with family and friends and surrounded myself with toxic people.
    Soon quarreling started and a series of events left me virtually homeless for more than 3 months (didn't bathe). Every day I prayed to god to end this misery once and for all. During this I had been sleeping and eating at my university campus. Campus security became suspicious of my activities. I was too proud and falsely pretending to be invincible. After some close calls and minor fights I left the campus and tracked down my former best friend and asked for refuge which my friend provided without questioning, though he was flabbergasted at the way I showed up unannounced. He let me live at his place for 9 days. On the 10th day, he made an lame excuse and told me to leave. I was shattered. I had no friends, no place to live and my seemingly best friend deserted me. Can't really blame him.

    I swallowed last bit of pride I possess and called home after 2 years. Family forgave me and checked me into a rehab program. After 9 months I am still trying to gain some wisdom and insight.The significant one being that my family would love me unconditionally no matter what.

    How I got here? Who is to blame?. Still searching for answers.
    PS: Left many details that are private and NSFW.
     
  15. ruso

    ruso Fapstronaut

    I started watching it back when I was 13. I had this penchant to seem older and never act my age. I thought being older was cool. I envied the womanizing nature of my grandfather. My father would also make comments about women at stores all the time.
    This got me curious to feel things that older people feel, sex being one of them asap. But I was too scared to have anyone tell me more about it or guide me to what it was and its implications. So I thought that by watching explicit music videos and later porn I could replace sex.
    And when the time came for sex I would know all about it and be 100% ready.

    At the same time all through my exploration of porn I became more and more perverted, and using it escape whatever little issues I had.

    I did this until last year. As early as last year I was pretty much on autopilot when I was watching porn. I would finish a session and be upset with myself 50% of the time. I grew insanely picky with the videos and just gave up due to the frustration of finding a clip (2 hours minimum).

    So this frustration with my escape world, later got me to really search for "who is ruso, what does ruso want" and soon enough in July I found the NoFap reddit on a little corner of ReddIt while exploring a porn thread. And then through there I found this forum.

    And that's that.
     
  16. Yakov

    Yakov New Fapstronaut

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    Well, I started because people around me were always talking about it as something wonderful...Now I realized that I shouldn't have started...
     
  17. CJthewise

    CJthewise Fapstronaut

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    I started watching porn at a young age , maybe 12, 13 but it was something i really didn't understand fully at the time, in high school it was my excitement of watching women doing thing on the computer i would never get to see them do in real life,(boy was i wrong), i was never one to have problems getting women porn for me was more of an escape from reality when i was stressing about something that i didn't want to deal with i would turn to porn and run away from the issue , this would lead to pour decision making and doing things i really didn't want to do , but unfortunately the porn escape dose not allow you to deal with the situation at hand in facet allot of the time it would just make it worse , but i can say now its been 19 days since i last looked at or seen porn or masturbated and i can already feel a change in not only my sex life but my social life.
     
  18. jontib300

    jontib300 Fapstronaut

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    Porn was introduced to my life when I was in middle school. I had a difficult time talking with students, especially girls. And although they approach me with a friendly smile, my low self-confidence kinda scarced them away. So porn was a symbol of "happiness" at that time. It was only when I started flapping (18 years old and still am) to porn that this isn't worth it.
     
  19. groove311

    groove311 Fapstronaut

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    I watched it to help me with sexual urges. It was easier
    to M with porn.
     
  20. kirbymaster7491

    kirbymaster7491 Fapstronaut

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    Found out about James Bond, thought Bond girls were a neat thing. Started looking up video compilations of them. Thought girls in bikinis were neat, started looking up compilations of that, so and so forth to the rather . . . odd tastes I have today.
     

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