Too Much Too Fast?

Who says you need to get better at everything? why cant what your doing now be enough? PERFECTION= CONSTANT STRESS

 

Read this book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck. I guarantee that it will change your whole perspective on life. Take care!

 

Progress over Perfection.

 

You can be realistic and have a look what is the situation in your life. It can be absolutely a mess. But at the same time you can have high goals. They work as a motor to bring you forward. These high goals even I will probably not reach them help me much more than lowering my goals. I experienced feeling bad and lowering my goals are always together. When I had high goals I felt energized and motivated. Actually a sales book "the 10x rule" by Grant Cardone (recommend the audio version) made me conscious about this.

 

I used to climb mountains. I can tell you that every single time, without exception, I, and my companions, always climbed them one small step at a time. We never, ever, climbed a mountain in a single gigantic step. That's right — never!

If you overwhelm yourself, you will crumble under the pressure. It won't be half-ass. It will be zero-ass.

I know this, because I've done it. Too many times to count. I once was a perfectionist, but now I'm mostly happy.

Move away from the idea that if you aren't perfect, you must be a failure. (That is common thinking in depressed people, by the way.) Learn to understand that there is a middle ground. There is no such thing as perfection. But there is such a thing as good enough.

Let's put it another way. Don't try to make a massive change. Seriously. Instead, make just one, tiny change…

And…

Do this every day.

After 365 days, you'll look back to today, see a massive change, and say, "Thank my stars that I made just one tiny change each day, otherwise I'd still be stuck where I was a year ago!"

Can you understand this yet?

 

I'm currently reading a book called "The One Thing" by Gary Keller. Within he states that willpower and discipline are finite resources and should be directed to activities in terms of their priority in your life.

"What is the ONE thing that I can do such that by doing it everything else becomes easier or unnecessary".

Personally, mine is NoFap. I tried to implement a morning routine that consisted of press ups/gym, cold showers, water, healthy breakfast, meditation and gratefulness. Was only possible by waking up at 5am on a daily basis. IF it was a stressful work week, I would be determined to keep up the entire routine without prioritising certain aspects to accommodate for these situations.

Needless to say, I relapsed, quite hard. Now my number 1 priority is getting a good NoFap streak of 90-120 days. Then I will try to add other routines using my will power and discipline until they become habits too. Book states that research shows habits take 66 days on average to fully form depending on their difficulty.

By no means am I saying do only 1 thing time. I still work out, meditate and take cold showers etc...but only in an order of priority I deem fit and only after I feel as though doing them won't negatively impact the willpower I am saving to deal with any unwanted urges.

Hope that helps.

 

Then take it slow warrior, Rome wasn't built in one night. There's a very small percentage of people that can overhaul their whole life at once and actually maintain it flawlessly. Statistically, you're not one of them. Make small changes over time and, with patience, you'll get to where you want to get to.

 

Many people have an easier time getting rid of one thing at a time. That makes a lot of sense to me, especially when people suffer from depression.

I eased myself into the pornfree situation by first not watching porn, then also not reading kink forums. then I tried hard mode for 6 days. Now I have just tried 12 day and I lapsed on day 11. it was just too much for me, especially since I did not have the opportunity to have sex on day 8-11.

I guess you will need to figure out how much you can take at one time and increase the efforts as you go.
Openly talk to your therapist about this. They may have some good ideas of how you should handle this.