I'm scared of authority

Yeah, I feel the same way. Which led to a number of problems in my life.

 

Flaws in the schooling system I presume. Since voicing out opinions at a young age was considered pointless and we were probably shunned for speaking up and made to feel like "we know nothing"

This fear and acceptance of "our superiors" remains.

 

Yeah I agree on that.., I was like that, but it's becoming better and better now.

 

It makes perfect sense that you feel that way because the "superiors" do all they can to brainwash people into believing they are inferior. This is where they want you to be. The authoritarian elements in society work towards people accepting hierarchies. It is very hard to overcome this fear, for it is real. If you talk back to someone higher up in the hierarchy, you will be reprimanded.

At some point you will learn about the incompetence and corruption of those higher up that you will learn to despise them. Maybe then you will find the courage to rebel. All the best.

 

Exactly.

 

That fear is basically saying that you don't value your desires / what you have to say / what you want to do / your own existence / your self worth / how much you deserve to be there with them / etc.

What makes them better / higher than you? You think too highly of them and not high enough of yourself.

When you shrink down around these people, you're basically placing more value on being liked by others than on your honest self expression. Meaning you don't think you're good enough as you are and you either act in a way that you think they'll like you for or you just shrink down to the point where you don't make any sort of mistakes for them to criticize.

 

It's kind of hard to explain because you'd need to understand the entire situation, but in short: inability to connect well with higher-ups and to communicate my needs the right way.

 

What you have to understand is that they are humans just like you, nothing better, nothing worse. They were also once a child, they also went through puberty, they also have a favourite tv show, etc, just like you. Hell, they probably also fear higher authorities. There really is no reason to fear them, but instead to look up to higher authorities. Try speaking to them with confidence, and you will quickly realise my point. Just be yourself man.

 

I've always felt in the opposite way, as if people younger or under me could not understand my discussion and so only those who were up above me could relate to my discussions. Try not always beiing the "teaching" figure and try going out with people who make you feel small