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There is something like, cyber-sex, porn chat addiction?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Matthew386, Dec 15, 2018.

  1. Matthew386

    Matthew386 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I'm Matt, I'm on this site from a couple of weeks now, I also have already relapse, at least I think, not sure how to call it. By the way, so far I have read many posts, comments, watched videos on porn addiction, and in the end I have always feel like "I don't have all this symptoms, and if I have one is in a super light way in comparison" but in at the same time I had found myself loosing a lot of time to gap, chat, watch porn etc.
    Now, I have this problem by not so far, it started when I first tried sex/porn chat, or cyber sex, before I had a "normal" situation, I used to fap from two times a week to two in a month. Yes sometimes it has happened to have done it everyday in a week, but I have never loose so many time with it, not hours.
    The point is, do you think my problem is "cyber-sex"? Something like that exist? It has slightly different symptoms from porn addiction?
    Thanks to all for the attention:)
     
  2. Yes, chat is for you a substitute of porn. You should treat it like a porn addiction.

    It can be somethimes much stronger stimulant than a regular porn, because you need to wait some time, or waste it on 'worthless' conversations, before you find the proper persona. It is similar to being exciting by searching for a 'good' clip for hours. Also you can feel that somebody wants you and admire you, because they pays you attention. It is lie, but pleasurable lie. They do not give a shit about you.

    To sum up, it is your porn substitute. Others have dating apps, prostitutes, erotic novels and so on. You have chats. It is serious.
     
  3. Mitsuro

    Mitsuro Fapstronaut

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    I would put them in the same category. It’s all virtual, no real connection and will sap you of life. Treat it the same as porn.
     
    Romans 6 23 likes this.
  4. Matthew386

    Matthew386 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for answering me, to be honest I don't feel like it's so serious, yes it can be much stronger stimulant on that I totally agree. I also think that is a little better, because I don't over sexualize women, I don't get aroused only by porn but more by other people, that are not here and probably over acting but at least I think they are real people. By the way I recognize that this probably can make it worst. By the way, what do you suggest me to do? Treat like porn in "what way"? Because I don't know if stop with chat only or with all porn related things.
     
  5. Struggle Bug

    Struggle Bug Fapstronaut

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    I've been addicted to chatting and cyber sex for 3 years now and I'm only 22, I say you should stop now before it gets worse, even now i can sense you're still at the stage where you think it's not that big of a deal yet, but it can get worse.

    I used to think it's better than porn since i am interacting with real people, but man I've gotten into a lot of mess, I became obsessive with the people i chat with and I become easily attached.

    Delete your chatting apps and your profiles, and start with a healthy substitute. Talking to real people. Get away now while you still can.
     
    Deleted Account and whitefang## like this.
  6. Struggle Bug

    Struggle Bug Fapstronaut

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    I'd say it's much worse than just porn, it gives people who are into it a false sense of reality.
     
  7. Matthew386

    Matthew386 Fapstronaut

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    Ok :) by the way I'm not thinking it's not big of a deal, I only think that from certain point of view is better than porn, but probably I'm wrong. To be more "trasparent" this bad habit with chats started 7 or 8 months ago, I have started with chat even before (like some other months, in total like a year ago I had my first sex chat) but I didn't have the time to fell in a bad Habit back in that period (I had exams etc.). It has go from much use to nothing for a while, to more, to nothing, until like 4 or five months ago that I had been using it more and more often. So I decided to reduce and I have, but I have also relapsed, it has go better and better by the way, until now I relapsed this morning after 16 days.
     
  8. Struggle Bug

    Struggle Bug Fapstronaut

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    Understood. Apologies if I misinterpreted what you typed. As long as you recognize it as something bad, and you're doing something about it, that's what matters.

    Still though, remove yourself from chatting apps and sites where you used to do it.
     
  9. nerd_lean

    nerd_lean Fapstronaut

    I used to do that in my second social media accounts. Chats that leads to mutual masturbation video call. I was really rooting to that since I think it's better than me going out fucking people and probably exposed to STDs. Moreover, they were real people.

    As time went by, i felt like it consumed my time. I prefered lockinh myself in my room and avoided to socialize with my boarding house mates. All I could think of was finding as many cyber sex partner as I could. Sometimes I got bad moods whenever the partners are not as what I expected or the connection was bad during the video calls.

    The moment i stopped doimg that was when there were a lot of people taking screenshots of the video call and shared them into their social media. I was afraid that people prpbably took screenshots of me and shared them online.
     
  10. Matthew386

    Matthew386 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for have shared with us your story :)
    I have made the PIED test guys, I have also used chat after using porn to be honest, I was trying to make a comparative analysis. Do you think this is part of the relapse I had today?
     
  11. Matthew386

    Matthew386 Fapstronaut

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    P.s. I don't have ED, but I found that "obviously" chat made me harder, while porn is almost the same. So I think my problem is almost entirely chat by this point.
     
  12. Struggle Bug

    Struggle Bug Fapstronaut

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    Exactly the same story with me man. I was afraid of catching stds, and I thought it's safer and better this way, but it's actually not.
     
  13. nerd_lean

    nerd_lean Fapstronaut

    Yeah man. Thank God i left it behind now.
    I'm focusing on stopping PMO now.
     
    Ray_of_Sunshine likes this.
  14. Everything what is need to be said already have been said. I am proud of all of you and this community. Sex-chatting is worse than a porn and can damage peoples lifes badly.

    Sometimes people have excuses and think it is better to use chat instead of real life relationships. They are lying to themselves, because they are in fact afraid of real life things. In a chat you can be whatever you want and nobody can confront your words with the reality.
     
    Ray_of_Sunshine likes this.
  15. Long time chat and phonesex fiend here so I know this theme very well safly.

    Chatting is like playing the slot machines according to my psychologist...

    You log on and engage in chat (roll the dice / push the buttons). You engage a person who flirts (dopamine secreted) you move on and get another partner (have another win) more dopamine. Exchange nudes or chat etc and orgasm... free spins or jackpot. Your reward is not the jackpot it is the sucessful interaction. It is MORE addictive than PMO for that reason amd it is fucking soul destroying. Some poor cunts even pay for tokens for private sessions online with camgirls etc...

    It is a slippery slope which I have ridden all the way to the fucking bottom...stay off that shit!!
     
  16. Grandpa61

    Grandpa61 Fapstronaut

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    Cyber sex is just as adictive as porn plus it has an exhibitionist quality in that you become the porn star. Mor dopamine, when you spend lots of time doing it your brain starts shutting down the dopamine receptors causing desensitation. But when you withraw or abstain your brain needs mor dopamine so you escalate to more fetish porn. In this way it is as bad as edging.

    I agree 100%!

    @Matthew386 I agree with @The_Common_Sinner. It sounds like his 3 years of experience has shown him the dark side of cyber sex.

    There are two or more people hurt by this.

    That is also how you get sucked into it. You don't get rewarded every time but often enough to keep seeking.

    Good avice @Tryinghardtoquit !
     
    Tryinghardtoquit likes this.
  17. Devilinme2

    Devilinme2 Fapstronaut

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    This is exactly true. I have this exact addiction. I do not consider myself gay but when I’m into my deviant porn urges I spend most of my time trying to find like minded perverted porn addicts that I can look at straight porn with and stroke together while we talk about what we are watching. And about 99 percent of the time I am shocked at literally being able to spend 12 plus hours in a row in different chat sites trying to find the right person to have a session with and find nobody. People think that this would be sooo easy to do because ur in a place with other horny perverts but everybody has different tastes and desires that u could be in a room full of people but still be alone...and even if u find that person who u had a great connection with, the odds of being on at the same time or in the same level of arousal is small. At the end of the day (literally) common sense says it just isn’t worth it
     
  18. James2222

    James2222 Fapstronaut

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    Chat rooms were my addiction as well - Normal porn became boring after being on it. Severely addicting though, my worst days I'd be on there for anything up to 8 hours. A few times I paid for cam girls after not being able to find anyone.. I'm self employed and could've used that money on my business.. Kills me to think of what I wasted, but I'm gonna try have a completely clean 2019. Hit me up if you wanna vent specifically about the chat addiction side of things!
     
  19. Simaggy

    Simaggy New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for all this advice guys. Cam chat rooms have been a real problem for me. Definite addictive patterns that are linked to the validation I feel in these false connections. That coupled with feelings of rejection when someone doesnt want to or isn't able to connect with me just spins me into a deeper hole looking for the perfect person to play with. I've been kidding myself for years that this isn't a problem, even when I'm in relationships and waiting for my partner to leave so I can play on cam. I've got to a point in it where I'm also using a lot of poppers to sustain the high of the connection and the song, keeps me feeling horny even though I might not be that into it. I've had enough of my behaviour in this and am currently on day 14 of abstinence. Honestly am really struggling today. Can't sleep, changing moods all over the place, feelings of extreme and unfounded loneliness. I am determined to work this through. I've been on a journey understanding this addiction for the last couple of years, but feel that I'm only now taking it seriously. Came on here because didn't know where else to go for support. Really appreciate what guys are sharing, feels far less of a lonely experience. Thank you
     
    Grandpa61 likes this.
  20. Grandpa61

    Grandpa61 Fapstronaut

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    I’m glad you are here my friend. Admitting your addiction is the first step on this journey. All of us here are on a similar journey and we want you to succeed in your recovery. Welcome my friend!
     
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