Help Me I’m feeling confused.

Viewing what you have been viewing, this is normal and is escalation. Your mind is latching on to it so it can get a even better high. Even if you don't want that in reality.
Stay away from porn and this will start to fade and lose it's power over you.

 

Completely agree with FreddieFox, this is just the next exciting taboo thing. If you enduldge this, it will be very exciting for a time and then you will be triggered by somthing even more denagrating for you... there is an endless list, could be you watching... or whatever! The really important thing, DONT FALL FOR THIS! Trust me you are looking at the opening of a rabbit hole. Be strong, because you are likely objectifying your GF here, you don’t want to be that guy! Go for a walk or do somthing productive when you think of it... it will redirect your mind.

 

My boyfriend is the same way. I started talking to him about p addiction and that is one of the reasons. He stopped for a while but has been watching again and I knew because the comments started again and that is mostly what he watches. It is a real problem because he makes comments about it very regularly eventhough I told him it makes me sick to think about being with someone else and that situation would be very scary for me. He doesn't even want to be involved (just me and 2 or more other guys) but I could tell when it was really bad that was all he would be thinking about and he would make random comments either during or after being with me or just out of the blue. It makes me feel like I'm boring and not good enough and it's really upsetting obviously that he makes comments that he knows scare me. He is also very jealous but when I used to ask him if he would really want me to do that he would say yes. Once or twice he said he wouldn't want me to. He even wanted me to go to a swingers club with him or post pics of me online to see comments from guys. One time he said he was starting to think maybe his fantasies weren't actually his fantasies when I was trying to delve into it more. We have recently discussed for the second time that he thinks this stems from an ex taking her top off in front of friend of his when she was drunk and he wasn't around. I has reading about cuckholding and a bunch of different reasons for it and one of them was wanting to be in control because they think they will get cheated on either way...at the time I sent him that he didn't think it was the reason- he thought it was more that he thinks I'm hot and wants to have power to share me with others. I'm hoping this is the beginning of the end of this because he seems more insightful than ever now that I have caught him lying about not watching p anymore. One of his exes played along like she would do that sort of things and I almost feel into that a bit with trying to put paramaters around what he could say because I felt so boring compared to the ex. I realized that was encouraging a fantasy that I hate and isn't healthy so I once again asked that he please not say those things but he started again!