What have been your wake-up calls?

I realized it when I started doing pretty crazy things. Like masturbating in public and taking photos of girls at the mall. When I would look at pictures and videos online, I would start to look at younger girls. My "taste" became pretty wacky, and eventually I would develop cravings. I also began to have thoughts about forcing sex on someone and I have treated many of my lovers like objects. So, I'm trying to find a healthy place for my sexuality. Pretty much everything you can think of that is "wrong" regarding sexual behavior is what I've been facing, and the only way I think I'm going to get through it is to step back and change my behavior, educate myself and work through whatever feelings and such I have going on beneath it all. Yes, I have been crapped on by the opposite sex and such, but that doesn't mean I should have to destroy my own life or someone else's to get revenge. I've got a long way to go, but it is cool that I can come here and be around people who have similar goals, whether or not they are as messed up as I am. Good luck.

 

For me, like many people, I couldn't get it up when it came time to have sex, or O would be delayed or never come. Now that I'm educated about how porn rewires your brain, it makes perfect sense why I couldn't get hard for sex. For me, that was when I realized I needed to stop. I didn't realize it was very possible until I saw so many people here having success.

Besides that, I've been caught looking at porn numerous times in my life, and the need for more taboo forms of porn became alarming to myself.

 

You sound like a man who is "extreme". Your imagination is probably immense. My imagination is certainly is. Just realize that you can put your extremities into action what ever way you choose. The negativity can be reversed and a powerful person like yourself can be powerful in better planes of existence. Be a man and suffer through your cravings and you will experience a more refined life.

 

A bunch of things really drove me to this:
1) Realizing that I was wandering into the BDSM (or whatever passes for it) areas of YouTube and Dailymotion because it was the only stuff that got me off.
2) Realizing I didn't even need the porn because I could just imagine my way there.
3) I was going to Confession every week confessing the same three things and this was one of them. Eventually, I just stopped caring and I resolved that I wasn't going to go to Confession until I could look the priest in the eye, tell him I intended to amend my life, and mean it.

 

My wife stumbled on my secret email account which had countless conversations with other women and also showed proof I had cheated on her. I was on a fishing boat when she texted me the news she found it and I was so scared I never wanted to come home. She was 6 months pregnant at the time with our first child. It was the worst 2-5 weeks of my life I lost 15 lbs I was devastated, she was hurt to her core but we are moving on together. It's been 4 months now I am seeing a therapist and part of group therapy as well has being part of a 12 step Sex Addiction meeting weekly.

If I can say anything I would wish I would have stopped years ago. If you are single and reading this... Fix this problem NOW because getting married doesn't make it magically go away. It makes it worse, the lies and shame gets more intense and causes you to fall deeper in your addiction.

 

Thanks, I'm trying. There are certainly other things I wish to put my energy into.

 

I've been trying to quit for years now due to my moral beliefs, however, for me the last straw was when due to unemployment I had no more restraining agent in my life (usually going to work the next day forced me to do a mini reset)

Once I noticed that I couldn't keep myself from PMO for three straight days, I realized I was spiraling downhill. I was losing control bad. I immediately got this account and now finishing day 6.

Usually I could abstain around 3-5 days before relapsing, so I'm now reaching new territory and really excited also I finally studied how it all affects the brain, and saw success stories which are helping a lot.