Women Struggle Too..

Thank you for sharing. I'm new here myself, but I for one welcome the perspective of women facing these issues just as much as the perspective of men. I wish you and your boyfriend the best, and hope to hear updates on both of y'all's journeys (yeah, I say y'all. I'm from Arkansas, lol).

 

Good story and just to clarify I am a guy and I feel pretty much the same and it sucks. Porn became a problem for me when a so called friend showed me on his phone. Now I am disgusted on how I view women and I desperately need a helping hand.

 

Yes, it's Texarkana. It's actually two cities that meet at the border of Texas and Arkansas. Went through it while driving with friends to Dallas.

If you got booted for being a "trigger", I would leave these forums right away. Things like that don't happen in civilized society. MAYBE on ultra-religious forums, but even then I doubt it.

 

Women are just as welcome as men here. Indeed, in the journals section, there is a specific forum for women, just in case speaking about your problem with men feels uncomfortable. As far as I am concerned, I'm willing to help anyone who feels they have a problem. You're not alone!

I should point out that I am male myself, though most of my friends are female. Of the few I feel I can open up to, I suspect at least two of them have issues that I suspect this site could help with if they admitted to themselves it was a problem.

 

Welcome.....I think a woman joining isn't a trigger. It could be for some people, but even if some people perceive it as so, then that is just a sobering reminder of how much porn really warps our sexuality!

 

Masturbation and orgasm

 

that's what MO stands for.

 

The main website has a glossary, in case any other terms confuse you.

 

I'm a woman, and new here too. Facing the problem is a big step - yay for us! PMO has negatively effected my marriage, but rather than causing us to be less frequent with sex, I sought it out more because of the enormous fantasy bank I had in my head. Physically intimate often, but sometimes mentally I wasn't even there. That's why I'm doing this, really - it's a journey to connection. All the best to you

 

Welcome on NoFap, sister! And great that MarriedLady and you have already connected, I'd have pointed her out to you otherwise.

To be honest, I'm a little shocked about your story. When I read about your father being a porn addict, at first I thought, poor girl, you must've found out about his secret and how he desperately tried to keep it all from you while not being able to stop (the classic scenario, if you will). But no, he's open about it, going to 12-step meetings and being on a healing journey himself, and yet, his damage lives on in you. Don't get me wrong, this has very little to do with you, I'm just shocked that being honest about his struggles didn't have the desired effect at all (protecting you from repeating his mistakes). I'm not a father myself (yet), but if I were, I'd probably have done the same thing as he did. But if secrecy won't help and honesty won't either, what other path is there? Makes me feel sad.

The very best of luck to you!

 

I'm a man but that has been my experience. The problem (that I found) is that porn warps one's expectations about what sex is. So even though you seek it out more, you have to ask, what are you actually seeking? In my case I found myself seeking the exact kind of things I would see in porn. That's not what sex with someone you love is all about, IMO. Anyway, good luck!

 

Guys this is one thread I thought I would never find from a woman. It does help a lot to know we are in this together. I am already 31 and this took too much time of my life away. I wish I had realized I was an addict when I was 23. I think you are much stronger mentally than I am by recognizing at such a young age and specially as a woman so please accept my token of admiration. I wish you the very best in your journey.

 

Ahfnm - it is a viscous cycle. You are doing great to try and break it. Sounds like lots of people want to help us for which I am very thankful
Mojohn, I agree that porn mode sex in an emotionally intimate relationship is not really what's called for. I'm going to try, really hard, to just respond naturally to intimacy, and not try and "improve" it in any way..

Seventyniner, it is such a hard decision knowing what and when to share with your kids. Things could go either way, as you say. Each parent, in love, does the best they can with the children they have. I'm so proud of this young woman reaching out - that's amazing maturity

 

Welcome, I hope you can get the support you are looking for. I just started on here myself.