Fantasizing about people.

This was from my first ever thread / posts in this community.

Fantasizing was always a way for me to escape reality and have control, but the fantasy was always empty and disconnected. In the past I thought it was just a normal thing to do and didn't see much harm in it, but it conditioned me to settle for less / escape reality / not connect with others / avoid experiences.

Real people behaving in real ways... negatively or positively towards me... is a lot more interesting.

I'm proud to say that I've grown a lot since I first came into this community and posted that thread. I don't fantasize about people anymore. I prefer reality and I don't settle for less even if it's difficult. Real people are a lot more unpredictable and I open up myself to them to possibly hurt me, but the occasional positive experience makes it all worth it.

Have a strong back (no matter what happens, become someone that's able to handle it), soft front (vulnerably open yourself up to potential harm), and a wild heart (courage to take risks).

 

Reality has the potential for both positive and negative experiences. Fantasizing is all about cutting out any possibility of the negative and just have all the positives, but the drawback is that it's not real.

So when you fantasize, it's a manifestation of your insecurities. Not believing that you can actually attain it in reality. You're basically rejecting yourself by thinking you're not good enough to even attempt the real thing.