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THE CURSE OF BEING ATTRACTIVE AND ADDICTED TO PORN

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Envoy-ofthe-End, Dec 25, 2018.

  1. Envoy-ofthe-End

    Envoy-ofthe-End Fapstronaut

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    I agree with what you're saying but a lot of it doesn't apply to me because I'm more outgoing now but with the opposite sex it's a problem because I don't feel manly enough per ser especially with a girl I like. Like if I tried even a little I could get any girl easy but I don't try. Like I can have them staring and I just ignore them but inside of me I actually want to talk to them.

    Basically I just want a stable relationship with a girl I like and that suits me, physically and mentally. But I need to heal mentally first to get her.
     
    RightEffort likes this.
  2. weekbyweek

    weekbyweek Fapstronaut

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    keep going man, we all need support from other so called "screwed up people"
     
    Envoy-ofthe-End likes this.
  3. Envoy-ofthe-End

    Envoy-ofthe-End Fapstronaut

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    It's not really that, because she didn't really reject the real me, she rejected the mentally disturbed me... But this will only make me stronger.
     
  4. Bro I know EXACTLY what you are talking about and many guys and girls do exactly this.

    Your problem is so easy to fix you wouldnt even believe, it is just a simple shift of perspective.

    You are looking at the opposite sex as if you are going to take value from them because of your wrong view, Instead what I invite you to do to fix this is to raise your frequency - through your daily routine, exercise and living a life of integrity - then I like you to go out to any meet up group or social setting, day time is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier to talk to girls than night time.

    So go out in day time, and i want you to PROMISE not to take any girls number - nor intend to pick up any girl at all - even if they beg you - instead I want you to ONLY focus on bringing VALUE to them.

    You can start with women who are older, with store girls or starbucks girls who are paid to be polite to you and your job is to simply add VALUE to their life...

    What i mean is you can smile at them, or pray for them silently , or just say Hey How is your day? What is your name? Awesome. Have a great day..."

    just like that - because you feel good (because you did your morning routine and been staying of PMO and you like who you are becoming) you will naturally pass on your good feeling to her.

    You are not to take any value from her, don't even expect her to respond well, your job is to be like the sun. Shine and give value to every women and man you come across.

    If you do this , you will be amazed that you will NOT be inside your head. You will NOT get sketchy. and then you can get used to this.

    Once you do this for a few days and weeks, you can easily transition, if there is a huge connection with one of the girls - you can simply follow up and fb close or phone close. but keep focusing on you are here to share your joy with her, and NOT to take value.

    THe other tip that has been super helpful for me, is to become aware that the only thing that is holding you back from getting there and starting to talk to them is your EGO.

    Your ego is your image of - mr.cool guy who doest get rejected - and so if the girls are checking you out, you create an image of mr.cool and you don't want that image to be shattered if you fuck up the approach.

    So you need to become aware when this happens - "oh I have a mr.cool guy ego right now...gotit!" Then choose to shatter the mr.cool guys's image by directly going towards destroying the image.

    YOu can approach the girl and say .."You know I just noticed You were checking me out, and I wanted to come to talk to you, but my ego kicked in and was judging you before meeting you, so i decided to come say hi. How is your day? "Boom! you're in. She will look at you like wow this guy is so freaking on. :)

    OR not , may be she will laugh at you and walk away, EITHER WAY - you dont give a shoot about the outcome, you only judge your success wether you shattered the mr.cool guy's self-image.

    This can be so ecstatic when you face your ego head on, and you make a fool of your ego you will gain the power that it has over you. You will literally feel high for a few seconds after doing this.

    If you do this ONCE you can not stop , you will do it again and again. by the 3rd or 4th appraoch, you will be unstoppable. you will be in the moment. You will realize, the glass wall between you and the other girls were all in your mind and you have 100% control over your ability to walk through this wall. In fact the wall is only an illusion.

    In elephant training, they tie a baby elephant to a rope and a pull, after many attempts to free itself, the elephant gives up and always stays by the rope to the pull. After the elephant grows up and has the power to smash the whole pull and rope - it still doesn't because it gave up long ago.

    The same way you currently have an illusion of rejection and what it would do to you, if you realize the only thing you are really afraid of is not rejecting but the feeling of embarrassment, which is coming from some past experience, and you choose to experience embarrassment fully without any fear, you will transcend the fear altogether.


    So in summary , you can focus on giving value and notice that the fear of talking to girls go away.

    and also you can become mindful int he moment that your ego is kicked in - and you are afraid of being embarrassed. when you choose to feel the feeling of embarrassment head on, it is like a ghost that does not exist. The only way you get to know this is by courage, to walk up to girls and allow yourself to be rejected and 100% okay if you feel embarressed, just be present and see how the embarressment turns into ecstasy because you DID something that 99.9% of guys would NEVER attempt.

    :) keep me posted if you do this!
     
  5. CH3RRY

    CH3RRY Fapstronaut
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    Great advice.
     
    RightEffort likes this.
  6. Envoy-ofthe-End

    Envoy-ofthe-End Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice man, I really like think it's the way. I just need to get far enough on NoFap to attempt this, I need my testosterone to peak because right now I honestly don't have motivation to go and speak to girls, and I know it's because I need to re-wire my brain to achieve this. I'll keep you guys updated.
     
  7. Hey bro I'm as your friend and some one who shared the same challenge I can assure you this is another false lie of the ego to delay the fear of rejection -all you need is to do your health routine and then you can offer value, dont wait for test to build up because then you will alwaysfind another exuse. May be i need a hair cut. Then i need to get new clothing, or may be the weather is not good, or today i'm in rush, etc, etc, this is all maya - illusion! :) Much love to you
     
  8. yosoy111

    yosoy111 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe you can share with us if you are adding to your life any habit that will help you in this rebooting, as meditation, cold showers, etc.
     
  9. shevro

    shevro Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to the story because I am myself a kind of attractive beta guy. Well, now am on nofap and going to gym, hope to transform myself! Go on buddy! We are with you
     
    kyvictoa1920 likes this.
  10. Envoy-ofthe-End

    Envoy-ofthe-End Fapstronaut

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    Haha thanks for the input guys, I just didn't mention that I lift weights religiously and I'm like 9% BF right now, it's just that lifting with PMO takes way longer cuz the test is always depleted. So I'm actually trying to measure my progress with shredding right now, just need to get my abs really cut but I can only achieve that with NoFap as I need to reduce those estrogen levels/ increase test. All this besides working, going to Uni, having a social life, etc...

    I'll try to post progress pics later on with NoFap milestones. I guess this thread I'll keep as a sort of online journal.
     
    kyvictoa1920 likes this.
  11. kyvictoa1920

    kyvictoa1920 Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree, porn is really addictive and it's killing one's social abilities and self image.
     
    Envoy-ofthe-End likes this.
  12. kyvictoa1920

    kyvictoa1920 Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree!
     
    Envoy-ofthe-End likes this.
  13. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Immagine the curse of being unattractive and addicted to porn :D
     
  14. Envoy-ofthe-End

    Envoy-ofthe-End Fapstronaut

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    Update

    Yesterday the 4th of January I passed 7 days of reboot, actually yesterday I went on a roadtrip with friends to the countryside, had a blast. Shot a gun for the first time too, felt good. Today I'm feeling pretty shit though, feeling angry, tired, etc at everything and everyone. I feel like this time the reboot is faster because I'm socializing almost daily. I'm still not motivated on getting a job yet or holding a convo with a girl, but I know it takes time so I'll try to hang in there. Thanks for the support guys.
     
  15. Envoy-ofthe-End

    Envoy-ofthe-End Fapstronaut

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    So I just came back from the pool, and their was a hot girl there. Goddamn I was pretty nervous but what got me even more nervous was the fact that she started looking at me as she started drying herself with her towel and proceeded to bend down directly in front of me to put the towel on her seat and I got a NICE view. My mind was going blank, I desperately wanted to talk to her, but the damn voice in my head started tormenting me lol. She left a few minutes later, I was sad but just goes to show I can't give up and I gotta keep on with NoFap if I want to defeat this mental fear.
     

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